Quit Smokeless Hall of Fame Archive

- Take the first step and take it an hour and then a day at a time. The hours will turn into days and the days into weeks.

- Realize that every minute packing takes two minutes of precious time away... the minute that you are spending ignoring friends/family and the additional minute you're taking off your life.

- Be honest with yourself. It's not the things in life you do that you regret, it's the things you don't do that you'll regret. I'm not sure if you'll look back with pride for your tin a day habit.

- Do whatever it takes. If it means gaining 30 pounds then do it.

God Bless- Mules

Then I found this great website. Thanks to Matt and everyone who has posted here whether they have succeeded or failed. I strongly believe that this place was the biggest factor of my success.

100 days down, life to go...

Then I hit day three.

And I realized I needed help to quit this evil habit. My help came from this great forum, and from the Lord. I've come to the conclusion that I've reached my maturity as a man by fighting and winning this battle. God bless everyone here fighting the same battle.

First, anyone can quit smokeless tobacco. It is no harder on any of you than it was for me or anyone else in the HOF. Do not wait for the first of the month, when things calm down at work, etc. Do it now.

Second, as long as you're not using tobacco, there is no wrong way to quit. Nic. Gum, patch, fake stuff, whatever. You will eveuntually be tobacco and nicotine free.

Third, embrace the fellow quitters on this forum. Your struggle is our stuggle. We are all in this together.

Fourth, don't let your crave become a cave. A crave will pass whether you dip or not. A crave will not become a cave unless you buy snuff; open snuff; pinch snuff between your fingers and put snuff in your mouth. Its about choice.

Fifth, don't ever fall into the "one dip won't hurt" mindset. As set forth above, I fell into that trap big time. Hopefully it won't cost me.

Sixth, when you're feeling depressed, be proud of quitting tobacco. I made partner the same week I made the HOF and I can honestly say that I am more proud of quitting tobacco than my promotion. (just don't tell my firm).

Seventh, and this is purely optional: Support this site. After I finish this message, I'm going to pay a little visit to the "PayPal" and make a donation. How many of us have bragged/noted how much money we've saved by quitting snuff. I'd like to give a little back to the site so more people can make use of this resource and get off the tin.

Well so much for being brief. Thanks Matt and God Bless you all.

Your site helped a lot. I hope that I can help at least one person quit chewing. Once you get past the hump of about 35 days, it just gets easier.

Then my life changed. My wife and I had our first child in September. I can remember the first few nights just watching her sleep. But the memory that changed my life was when our baby was screaming at the top of her lungs while we were both asleep in bed. I jumped out of bed and went running straight for my can of Copenhagen. My wife followed me out of the bedroom thinking I was going to help the baby, when she realized what I was doing. I had to have a dip before I could take care of this precious, needy, and wanting child.

She did not say anything to me, just walked past me to the baby's room. It was at that moment I realized my priorities are out of line. I vowed to get control of my life again.

After some research, I vowed to quit for the um-teenth time. This time I could not fail. Now I was not only failing myself, but my wife, and my unknowing daughter. With the help of this site and my own determination, I have been able to regain control of my life. Because of the support of men I will never meet, there is a 0% chance I will dip today.

That has been my mantra through this entire journey. There is a 0% chance I will dip today. Yesterday is gone and out of my control. Tomorrow is not yet here and may never arrive. I can only control my actions and reactions for today. Today, I choose not to use tobacco.

#1. I've quit twice before. This will be my last time going through this torture. The reason I failed before was in succumbing to the "just one dip" thing at a party and the second time by starting up gradually through smoking cigars (then chewing them!). Face it, we're addicted to nicotine. You can't have it anymore, period! You do, you'll find yourself back where you were.

#2. I woke up December 1st, 2001 and said I don't do this anymore. There was no question in my mind that I'd fail. If you're approaching it with that type of commitment, you won't either. You're not TRYING to quit. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, YOU WILL QUIT! Nor will you ever go back to it.

May God bless us all as we try to take better care of one of the most precious gifts He's given us--our bodies, our lives.

For the new quitters, my advice is pretty simple -- read everything you can on this site. Read the archives and spend some time in the HOF. Pick any of the HOFers (or more than one if you have the time), do a search and follow them through their quitting process. Finally, hold yourself accountable - post, don't just lurk in the shadows. Remember, you have to take affirmative action to start chewing again, you make that decision and you can resist it. Despite what your urges might tell you early on, tobacco can't remedy something that made you angry, sad, depressed, etc. And know that the next dip may be the one that causes the sore that won't heal, and there's no going back after that. None of those are original thoughts - all are borrowed from the experts at QuitSmokeless.

Thanks to Matt for the site and to the numerous members that have supported me (even if it was unknowingly as I read the old posts). There are too many names to list, so thank you all.

Well, I don't have much else to say, thanks to all, Don and Mike for there support, and talk to you later.

Also, I am still keeping my deal with myself. If I decide I must dip again, then in order to have the dip I have to buy two cans. The first can I have to eat, all of it. Then I can have a dip out of the second can. Visualize it, it helps me through a crave. Take care all...

PS - The HOF bunnies are all that they were said to be!!!

First. Don't be afraid of quitting. Make up your mind, then do it. Secondly: Visit this site daily. Read, soak, understand and POST. Third: 1st 48 hours are the hardest. After that, it's really manageable. (At least for me so stay positive) Forth: Most important-Change your behavior........if you do this, you will beat the demon.

My experience has been really modifying my behavior to all the things that I did while dipping. There is no reason to dip while driving, golfing, working at the computer, fishing, hunting, and so on and so on.

As for a confession. These past 100 days for me have been my second attempt at quitting, (I quite a few years ago for over a year) The main difference here is I wanted to stop this time. I have dipped a can a day for 10 years and it has ruled my life. I didn't want that anymore so I quite and you can to.

If you are reading my post and you are still dipping and on the fence. Jump down and quit today. NOW.

If you are reading my post and you are on you way to the HOF............good for you, You can do it. I'll hold the door open for you.

Thanks again to all that have helped me. Quitting does not end at 100 Days, you must keep on quitting every day from here on out.

I'll be back to check on you guys/gals

1. I siked myself up to quit. I kept thinking about the future, and how great it was going to be to be dip-free.

2. I decided that no matter what, I was done chewing. I told myself over and over "I don't chew any more".

3. I ordered the Dipstop program, and began doing it the day I got it.

4. I visited this site every chance i got.

5. I quit for me, and my health.....nothing else.

6. I set small goals for myself and rewarded myself for each goal I met.

7. I told everyone I know that I was quitting. This was very important because I turned into a real asshole for the first couple weeks.

8. I made a dentist and cancer screening appointment.

9. I decided I would start bleaching my teeth when I was done using Bacc-Off and SMC.

10. I took pride in my Quit Track and thought about how it would suck to have it go back to 0 and have to start all over again.

I could not have quit without Quitsmokeless.org, the Quit Track, the Dipstop program, Bacc-Off, Smokey Mountain Chew, and the patience and support from my family and friends.

Today is my 4 month anniversery and I can safely say that I have done it. I will never chew again. Instead, I will keep rewarding myself for not chewing.

Don't put it off any longer, psych yourself up and quit now !

I would like to thank everybody who ever posted and understood about all the trials and tribulations quitting this brutal habit. I especially want to thank my brother Darren. Darren, had you not encouraged me, and encouraged me and encouraged me to keep going to this site I would not be HOF today. I am sorry that the pack we made (that you stuck to) to quit together was broken by me back in November. Thanks for understanding. So you made HOF 41 days before I did and I am proud of you for that. Thanks for all the support.

And for all those who are wondering out there if Darren is really gay, HE ISN'T. I made the whole thing up.

Keep up the good fight. Congrats to all my graduating class, hope you all post today. CHUBBY IS OUT!

Friends, there are only two things I can tell you here with any scientific certainty. First. Quitting tobacco today will greatly enhance the probability of your living a longer, healthier, and more prosperous life. Second. Scientists and laboratory mice across the country are just discovering the oral-cancer combating properties of green tea. But if you're reading this you already knew the first one (even if you don't care to admit it) and you probably need every advantage you can get with regard to the second. So what the hell, you've put stupider things into your mouth, drink green tea. Chew green tea. Gargle with green tea.

Viva antioxidants. Neutralize the free radicals. It's a Jihad against cancer.

Otherwise, the rest of this is just the meandering of a guy who is a 100 days ahead of where you need to be in a 100 days. So take it for what it is worth. There are no magic bullets here - just time and tenacity, both of which will be on your side if you let them.

But first things first.

You must know that starting today the gig is up.

In life there are but a few certain inalienable truths: "what goes up must come down," "E=mc2," "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction," "death and taxes." The one inalienable truth you should know about today is "everyone has to quit - eventually." Oh sure you may not quit today. You may not quit tomorrow. You may not quit for another 20 years. You may quit before you have to quit, or you may quit 10 minutes before the surgeon lops off a chunk of that tobacco chewing face of yours.

But you will quit. Everyone must quit eventually.

Today is as good a day as any other day to quit. So quit today. Quit tomorrow, quit yesterday, quit once, quit twice, quit five times if you have to. Quit cold turkey, quit with seeds, quit with candy, quit with whiskey, rum, and tequila. Quit with patches, gum, pills, hypnosis, magic crystals, transcendental meditation, or hyperbolic extension of intergalactic space travel. There must be 50 ways to quit tobacco. So choose one way, choose 50 ways but . . . . QUIT.

Quit now or quit at the urging of your oral surgeon. I did it the latter, you be smart and do the former.

Celebrate.

Don't be sad, don't despair if I did this you can too. Tobacco is the false friend who stabbed you in the back, robbed you, beat you, raped you, and left you for dead in a gutter on an unfamiliar street, in a country who's language you don't even speak. Mourn the passing of your friendship appropriately. Take yourself, take your loved ones, take your dog, or take your best friend out to dinner. Today, the day you quit tobacco - in all the adult years of your life - today, this day, it is the day you made the wisest decision you ever have, and may ever make. So celebrate.

Pray to your God. Seek the wisdom of your science. Do both! It can't hurt.

Breath deep. Exhale. This too shall pass.

Capitalize on the power and resolution of your conviction. Get mad, stand up, say your piece, shake your fist at the devil, talk the old bastard down. It's therapeutic. It's rejuvenating. But don't even worry about I'm saying today. You won't appreciate it until you stand back and look at yourself a 100 days from now. 100 days from now you will see yourself in a way that you simply cannot grasp today. Its something I just cannot communicate. You will see where you've been. You will see where you've come. It is beautiful. Trust me. I've been there. I've been here. It's better here than there.

But there are dark sides.

You must know full well there will be those who wish to undermine you. Weaken you. Justify their own weakness, addiction, and shortcomings. Understand too that friends come and friends go, but you only get one life. So act accordingly.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Don't quit for anyone but you. Who was it that was stuffing your face chock full of tobacco for the past twenty whatever years? Your wife and your children? Your girlfriend and your lover? It was you. And who is going to shout down the hobgoblin demon that belts you square between the eyes at 3:30 in morning shouting, "give me nicotine?" It is you.

Oh don't misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong with wanting to quit so you can live to see your children's children, so you can spend more time with that beautiful wife, so you can retire and build a condo in Orlando or play golf in Arizona. But there is nobody but you to blame for getting you into this mess. There is nobody but you that is going to get you out of this mess.

So lets keep that straight.

Don't worry about cancer. Or worry like hell about cancer. But know this, as Mary Schmich once said, "Worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum." So make an appointment. See a dentist. In the law we call this mitigating your damages. In life we call it taking care of business. And here I call it stupid if you don't.

What if you have cancer? What if you don't? Maybe you'll get it. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll climb Mt. Everest on your 100th birthday. Seriously my friend, life's consequences are half chance. Maybe you have good genetics. Maybe you don't. Maybe you quit in time. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you showed up for work early on September 11th maybe you didn't.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't shake, rattle and tilt the table as much as you can. So like I said G*R*E*E*N T*E*A

Remember what your Mother said.

Drink water. Lots of water. Take a vitamin supplement. Exercise. You will gain weight. But dead men tell no tales and fat men can loose weight. First things first is what I say.

And finally,

If you haven't visited Arlington National Cemetery once in your life, you should someday. It is an indescribably humbling realization to know you owe your life to so many whose faces you do not even know.

Of course I write as if tobacco is a uniquely American addition. It is not. If you come by this posting in a land, which is not mine, insert your own point of national pride here.

Either way, in time, you will regard the Quit Smokeless Cafe in the same way.

Oh sure, some Brothers and Sisters here will whine. Some will boast. Some are weak and some are arrogant. But in time you will know - so are you. This battle brings out the best and the worst of you.

In time you will need the Quit Smokeless Cafe less and less. But then at 5:30 in the afternoon, on a day that's yet to be announced, you will be blindsided by a sucker punch to the kidneys, t-boned at the busiest intersection in town. And when that day comes - and it will - know that, QuitSmokeless.Org will always be here for you.

I once thought I could list the names of every person who helped me in this journey. I realized I could not. Every man, every woman who has posted before today - I have read your post. If you post here tomorrow - I may read your post. To all of you I must thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do not even know your face but you may have saved my life.

This, my friend, is the circle of life. Welcome.

Good luck. God bless. Keep fighting the good fight.

John "JR" Proper April 17, 2002, 3:15 pm mst (100 days)
Scottsdale Arizona

I wont bore everyone with a typical HOF post but to say that if I can beat the beast, anyone can. I agree with most of the posts Ive read throughout the 100 days. Especially those that said that the only way to quit is if you really want to.

Like many people, Ive tried multiple times over the past 12 years and could never do it. Not for a girlfriend, or later a wife, or even family. This time was different.

4 differences that led to my success:

#1 I deliberately waited until Jan 8th so that I could differentiate it from a typical New Year's resolution.

#2 In the first 2 days I cut way back (3 dips/day vs. 1 can/day)

#3 Because dipping is so psychological, those 3 dips I took, I made sure were at odd times. None when I woke up or after any meals.

#4 No one forced me to quit. I did it because I wanted to.

Just those 4 differences enabled me to quit this deadly habit absolutely cold turkey. No Smokey Mountain or BaccOff. No Nicorete gum or even the patch. Just a heavy helping of water, green tea (drinking not packing) and regular chewing gum.

The first week is hell and not a day goes by without missing it. But my will is so strong now, I couldnt possibly go back. Not even a "just this one time" dip. That is trouble.

SO, thank you all for your help. I owe it to you.

"Quit dipping"

I typed those two words into a search engine and it changed - possibly saved - my life. At the time I was 70-something days into my 137th (?) attempt to quit in the past 10 years. Like most of you, I had set quit dates based on special events: every New Year's Day, my birthday, my wife's birthday, the births of both of my children, etc. And, of course, I caved every time. Then, on 1/13/02 - a random Sunday - I ran out of Copenhagen. Needless to say, this was extremely distressing to a can-a-day, 18-year addict. But something in me said, "This is the day to quit. You had your last dip last night." No great fanfare, no red circle on the calendar, no ceremonial "final dip" (I'd already had about a million of those)…just a mental commitment to make it work this time.

My crutch was Nicorette. Some here feel that you haven't really quit if the nicotine demon is still coursing through your veins, but it worked for me. I promised myself that when the cravings got unbearable, I'd chew at least one piece of gum before I broke down and bought a can. I kept that promise and it's kept me out of the 7-11 every time, my friends. And like they say, "Whatever gets you through the day, as long as it's not a dip."

Then, through the grace of God and the technology of Google, I found myself at this site. I couldn't believe that there were so many people like me, fighting this addiction. I read and posted like a madman, marveling at how we all suffered the same mental and physical challenges and milestones on this journey…and how we all had similar stories about how we got hooked on this junk. I got some great advice from my newfound cohorts, including a strong suggestion that I get off the gum - and so I did. I found myself emailing "newbies" and offering my advice, and I felt a profound sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when they replied that my support was helping them. In truth, it was helping me as much as them. Because the true magic of this community - the thing that makes it work for all of us - is the fact that we feel committed to our fellow members as well as to ourselves. It's easy to let ourselves down, and we've all done it countless times in failed quit attempts. But coming here, sharing our struggles, offering support and advice…all of this raises the stakes and gives us the additional motivation and conviction we need to keep on quitting.

For those of you just starting on this journey, my only advice is to devour everything you can on this site. Most important, develop a relationship with your friends here and take the journey step by step with them. Raise your own stakes - it will make it easier to re-commit if you fail, and it will make it all the more glorious when you succeed and share your success with your fellow quitters. Check the Cancer Gallery every time you come here. Read posts from the HOF veterans describing how completely different your life will be when you're not spending so much time focusing on where/when you're going to be able to work in that next dip of snuff. Drink tons of water, exercise, eat mint, chew seeds or gum, stand on your head, whatever it takes…just do not ever put tobacco in your mouth again. And when you reach the HOF I challenge you to join the "Hundred for a Hundred" club by donating $100 to this site for helping you put 100 tobacco-free days behind you.

Now I've been nicotine-free for the longest time in my adult life and I owe it all to Matt and the community that we've all built here. I've never felt better about myself…physically and emotionally. I know I'll continue to have challenges and I'll have many opportunities to cave, but I won't let it happen because I've made a commitment to myself and to all of you here: I don't dip anymore. So here's my final farewell to that miserable old friend of mine who tried to kill me:

Ode on a Tin of Cope

What is about that little tin can,
Whose contents made me feel like a man?
Why is it that I got started on dip?
Whose idea was it to stuff that crap in my lip?

I started with Skoal like so many others,
Then stepped up to Cope with my fraternity brothers.
I loved the elation brought on by the snuff
Soon a can a day was barely enough.

Before I knew it, dip was just part of life.
It helped me to deal with everyday strife.
And the glorious feeling as it coursed through my veins,
My heart would be racing, causing minor chest pains.

And at work - how fantastic - hiding spit cans and jars,
How cool - I spilled brown spit in both of my cars!
The stains won't come out, and the odor still lingers
And how did I get the yellow stains off my fingers?

Yes, it was truly my own slice of heaven,
When I'd find an excuse to hit 7-11.
I'd pick up a can (but nothing to eat)
And a one-dollar Coke to dump out in the street.

And before I even pulled out of the lot,
I'd stuff in a fatty: "Ah, that hits the spot!"
Then it was back to the house, after the craving was fed,
But there was usually time for one more dip before bed.

When my first child was born I said, "No more dipping!"
Five days went by, and I found myself slipping.
I said to myself "One more week sure won't hurt."
And I filled up my lip with the cancerous dirt.

When our second came along, I knew it was time.
"I'll quit for good - 18 years is a crime!"
And I really stuck with it - for a month and a day.
I just couldn't do it…at least not that way.

Then I found this site, and it became clear
That people like me had found their way here.
United by fear, and one common goal -
To live a life free from Cope, Kodiak and Skoal.

We were all shocked by the pictures we saw,
Of dippers who'd lost a tongue, cheek or jaw.
And we all responded with a similar plea,
"Oh please God, don't let that happen to me."

So we "meet" here online, and offer advice
On how to keep clean, to conquer this vice.
We all want to quit, and we all have our ways
And we all keep close tabs on each other's days.

So pull up a keyboard, boot up your PC
You, too, can quit, that's a promise from me.
Though methods may vary, there's only one way:
You must tell yourself "I will not use tobacco today."

The days will add up - you'll be shocked at how fast
And your cravings will become a dull memory past.
But let me tell you the real truth my friend,
You're always one dip away from being addicted again.

So what do I now say about that little tin can?
I don't need you to make me a man.
And listen old friend as I make this prediction:
You'll never catch me again with your deadly addiction.

- Jimmo, Los Angeles

I have tried to quit many times, such as when I got married, when the wife and I moved to our first house, when each of my kids were born, and just about every New Years day. I'd last anywhere from a few hours to a few days, but always fell victim to the lie that "I could have just one dip" and not fall back into my normal dipping routine. This time, a few things were different: I trusted God to help me, I began training for and running marathons, and I became associated with the great people on the Quitsmokeless.org website. For those struggling to become or remain free of the tobacco addiction, never underestimate the power of prayer, a regular exercise program, and the support of people who understand your struggles. I am indebted to everyone on this website for encouraging me, motivating me, and holding me accountable to my promise to quit dipping. Special thanks to Matt for making this site possible.

Whenever it feels like the battle against the nicotine demon is getting too tough, DON'T GIVE IN, and remember: The pain is temporary, but the glory of accomplishment lasts forever.

Thanks to all--Dave

My deepest gratitude goes to Matt van Wyk for creating this site. Matt, I could not have done it without your incredibly resourceful website. Thank you so much.

Thanks to all those wonderful people at the QS-Cafe who helped me with words of encouragement, and even chastised me when I deserved that. Thank you all more than words can say. There were times that reading a single post, saved me from myself. Again, thank you all!

Lastly, I just want to say that it is do-able. You can quit. I did it for my wife, my son, and myself. I love the life I am living now. Dip and smoke free is the only way to live.

Thanks to everyone who posted in the Cafe, and a special thanks to: J.T., Otown Dave, John Drake, Gumby, Blair, Shane, Hoyt, Tom, Mike261, Flippin, FuzzHead, Dutchman, Peter, Wally, Angler, Toadster, Steve Davis, Rick from Tampa, Plantercat, Steveman, Gizz, JP Texas, Viceless, Bates, Hankster, D K and JR. Without you guys, I would have never had the courage to quit. Thanks for pulling me through the hard times.

It's been a struggle for these last 100 days, especially the first few weeks, and I know that I am not out of the woods yet, but I feel so much freer and more alive that I'm certain that I do not want to go back. I don't have a stupid tin dragging me down, turning passionate kisses to pecks on the cheek because I have a dip in, fouling my teeth and breath, causing soreness and perhaps the big C, and making me shake and squirm if I go a few hours without. I certainly do not want to go through day three of quiting again and I know that one dip or one cigar could be enough to throw my addiction switch and get me back into dipping full time, so I am going to avoid it at all costs.

Here's what I did to get to day 100:

• I picked a quit date and rallied support of my family around it. I chose a Friday on which I didn't have to work so that I wouldn't have to face the world for the first three days and I had my quit aides ready.
• I used the nicotine patch. I used it for the full recommended course listed for heavy smokers exactly according to the instructions. As an addict, I really had no business regulating how I consumed the drug so I figured I had better just follow instructions. This made it quite a bit easier at first, but also stretched out the amount of time it took to kick.
• I took it easy on myself. I let myself be a big crybaby sometimes. I let myself be angry. I let myself take the day off from work and hide a couple of times. I let myself eat like a pig. I let myself use SMC and Altoids like a security blanket. I let myself do ANYTHING BUT use tobacco.
• I posted on here every weekday from about 9 weeks on. I didn't find the site until I was eight weeks in, but since then it has been invaluable. I wish I had found this site for day one. Posting on here has helped keep me in line and it has been motivating to support my brothers here.

Thank you Matt for the site. Thank all of you for your support. It's great to be free - if you are not free, get here. It will be worth it.

Peace,
jef

I wasted so much time on smokeless tobacco. Time that I will never get back. There were nights when I would leave my wife's side just to get that one last hit. There were times I would leave early from a dinner with my parents so I could pack one. There were times I would not ride my scooter, not tend the yard, not call a friend just so I could pack my lip one last time. And what did I get for my devotion to the can? Nothing. It was time I couldn't control because I was, and am addict. So it came time for God to help me out.

Thankfully, He showed me to Matt's site. And that was when a miracle happened for me. Even though I wasn't 'ready' to quit and had given up on quitting, I did quit just days later. The first few weeks were tough. There is no denying that. I fought with everyone, packed on the pounds, developed insomnia, obsessed over the persistent mouth sores, packed fake dip in my mouth like it was bubblegum, and toughest of all: Made the call for a dentist appointment. You see, up until I quit, I figured if ignorance was bliss I wanted to be ecstatic about my chances of having cancer. But, the Good Lord had given me determination in my brow. He had done so by using fellow quitters on QuitSmokeless to keep me honest and to face my fears. And while it was difficult to quit, every morning I woke up tobacco free made me proud of myself. And that was good medicine.

So now I look back over my 100 days and realize how much I have accomplished. I am no longer a slave to tobacco. I no longer have to fear my 'secret' getting out. I don't have to check out the convenience store to make sure no one I know is around. I no longer have to do a lot of things I don't like because I am no longer owned by tobacco. And the pride I feel in myself and others who have chosen to quit lets me know I have made the right choice. And it helps that I am just happier with life than I ever was when I was dipping. It is a good feeling when someone knocks on the door at our house and I don't have to spend frantic minutes spitting and washing up. What a feeling.

I started like most people. One dip at a time. I was in control and could quit any time I wanted. And I was going to after one more dip. That was almost 20 years ago. I wasn't in control until I came to QuitSmokeless and found other folks like me who hated what was happening to their lives. And thanks to fellow quitters like Gizz, Hankster, Danin and Tom, I can say that I have quit tobacco and regained control of my life.

For so many of my years, I have felt alone with the personal demons and battles that waged inside my mind. I knew dipping was a coping mechanism, a dependence I had created to compensate for a lost coping skill. In college, I was invincible. The cancer won't get me! I am too young to die. Then I met the woman of my life and "promised" to quit when we got married. Can you believe I had a dip in my mouth two minutes before my wedding! Next came the first daughter, the singular most defining moment in my life. Being adopted (I have often wondered if that was the void the dip filled), I had never seen a person of my own flesh, of my own blood. Before my eyes was the first human being in 28 years that was a blood relative! What a thrilling moment in my life. It was at that moment that quitting first became real to me. The facts of my life were undeniable. I had to beat this monster.

I quit for ninety days after the birth of my first daughter. I also began the search for my biological parents. My biological mother would not meet me, but my biological father happily agreed. Thirty minutes before I was to meet him, I cratered in a little town outside of Yellowstone National Park. Bought a can of skoal long mint and was back at it again at full force. Ninety days were gone, the sense of self-defeat, the shame associated with returning to the can. Instead of fighting back by quitting again, my sense of shame led me further into the can, so much so that after a couple of weeks, I pushed back into the dark parts of my mind the thought of quitting. It would not raise it's ugly head again. I needed the can in my life. It was the "power" that allowed me to get through each day. Damned if I was going to give up that "secret life sustenance".

But you see, it never went away in my mind. From little whispers some days to loud and blood-curdling screams on others, the battle for my soul was waged each day in parts of my mind that I dare not visit often. The dread, the guilt, the pain, the sorrow, the weight, the ugliness, it all wore me down each day to the point where it was difficult for me to find joy in life. I had to get free of this monster. And then, the birth of my second daughter. So much more fulfilling because we had a miscarriage a couple of years before. The joy that was missing returned in a strong and passionate way. It allowed, for a brief moment, a window into the true meaning of being here, of walking on this earth.

Not too soon afterwards, I learned my (adoptive) Dad's prostate cancer had returned. It had returned after a two year absence and the diagnosis was not good. It was a matter of time. But time was shorter than we had ever dreamed. This news reinforced the notion that I "needed" the can to get through life. It was how I was going to be strong for him, how I was going to be strong for those in my family. As the oldest and the son, the weight fell to me to lead. The pressure was immense from a career perspective. At the time I was 1000 miles away. I had to make the decision: return home and sacrifice a blossoming career or stay and listen by phone as my Dad faded away. After six months of mental battles, the decision was made. My place was with my family. It was the call for me in my life. It was time to go home.

I returned home and found Dad living with a cancer that would kill him. He struggles with his mortality each day. Through it all, he laughs, smiles and loves, taking in the great things about being alive. It was at this point that I saw the courage and strength in my Dad and realized that we all are faced with our own unique battles in life. One of my battles was with the skoal can. It ruled my life when there were so many more things that should be the focus.

Then it happened. I was sitting at home one night at 10pm and found Matt's site. I then discovered I only had one more pinch left in the can. This had happened to me hundreds of times before. I wanted a dip now and one first thing in the morning so a decision had to be made. What I thought was the only decision up until this point: Do I go now to the store for my can or first thing in the morning? But this night, something moved through me. The stories of struggles by folks just like me. The words of pain, support, struggles and victories. I know many of you will think I am strange, but I can only speak the truth. The Holy Spirit moved through me via Matt's site and showed me a different choice, one that seemed very right and true: I could quit dipping all together! Oh how I had thought about quitting over the sixteen years. But this time it was different. I felt the strength to succeed. The passion to succeed.............................

And here we are, 100 days later and I am free from the can. Folks, for my entire life, I have been a rational, logical, realistic man of this world. But I can only say that God through the Holy Spirit brought me to Matt's site which allowed me to realize that there are many wonderful people out there caught in my same addiction. Matt's site gives us all the opportunity to be open about our feelings and challenges from the comfort of our own homes. It is truly a shining example of the power of the internet age.

To those of you just beginning, it can be done. It will hurt and there will be difficult times ahead. Just remember, to date, I have never heard of someone dying because they DID NOT have a pinch. I know many have died because they did! To those of you mid-way through, you should be seeing the light. Don't give up. It feels great to hit the 100 day mark. To those of you who went much longer and fell, there is no judgement here at quitsmokeless. We all welcome you back with open arms and stand ready to assist you in your continued struggle.

I thank all of those at quitsmokeless (too many to name) for their honest, open, personal stories about their journey. I want to thank Matt for his great wisdom and love in creating this site and making people's dreams come true. My last thank you to the quitsmokeless crowd is to GIZZ! Gizz, you were my quit brother. You held me accountable each and every day along the way to the HOF. I want to thank you for that and wish you all the blessings in the future. I will always remember you and think of you. We are quit brothers. May we never fall!

I want to thank my wife and two daughters for their unconditional love, patience, support and concern. Without them and because of them, I would not have had the inspiration and motivation to act. Lastly, I give thanks to Jesus Christ for loving me and dying for the forgiveness of my sins. All things are truly possible through the Lord!

Ride Hard folks!

The Hankster

How bout "Thanks Matt". Yeah that fits. For some reason you hated the addiction to the point that you unselfishly started this site. You knew how hard it was to quit cause you had to do it alone. I now feel a little ashamed that I wasn't there for you when you were struggling. Those times must've been a real test of your soul cause it was only "You against it". Nobody to email back and forth, no answers to those tough "when is..." and "when will it..." questions. I owe a pile to you for creating this site for people like me. A very sincere "THANK YOU".

By the grace of god and good fortune I stumbled upon this site last October while looking for the Holy Grail of Quitting smokeless tobacco. I took me until February to come back cause I never did find that "easy way out" Holy Grail plan or method but i did find something even better....I found Quitsmokeless.org and a bunch of guys and gals just like me; tobacco addicts trying to kick the can. At first I thought "what's this guy trying to sell?" then as i clicked the FORUM I opened the door to the place that would end 20+ years of addiction to skoal.

My present and future quit brothers, I truly am humbled by the help and encouragement i received from everyone, without you this site would be MEANINGLESS and i know I'd still be addicted. You are the reason i have broken the 20+ year chain. To you ALL(Past, Present, Future), I am forever indebted. Call on me anytime for anything, I'm there.

For some reason today seems different than most of the other 99 quit days. I don't feel the jubilation like i thought I would or the "it's finally over" feeling. Rather, I think I now understand what it takes and what it will continue to take in order to stay on top of this wretched addiction. I stand ready to take the battle to the next level, this is serious life altering business and I understand it for what it is. I am committed to winning this war and my resolve remains unaltered.

"Life is so much better without tobacco". A statement i didn't understand and couldn't even comprehend 100 days ago. That gut wrenching feeling of "How am i ever gonna be able to......" without tobacco has been answered. The answer is simple, I still enjoy them! Yes, the first time i started working on my old truck in the garage i did so by reaching in my pocket for the can. I chuckled to myself when i realized that I didn't dip anymore. I DID NOT go back to the house wimpering about how it wasn't gonna be fun anymore but rather i took it head-on and in a matter of minutes the urge passed and I was enjoying my hobbie more than ever. This has been the case with all of my activities. So my understanding of this association we all have with dip and activities is that it only exists in our minds. My new view of this association goes like this: Tobacco gets no credit for how much i enjoy my hobbies and activites - NONE.

I don't like to single out anyone cause this has truly been a team effort....but.... A Special "Thanks" is in order to "The Hankster". Hankster took it upon himself to carry me through the toughest times. His timely emails always seemed to be what i needed at the utmost time. We made a deal and that deal is lifelong going forward. For you dude i say "Ride Hard".

Those contemplating on quitting: You need to do this for yourself, first and formemost, and if that ain't enough then think about those around you that depend upon you and your daily interactions. If you continue to dip sooner or later that may all change. I don't like to preach and so i won't. I know firsthand how hard it is to quit and there is NO SHAME in the struggles that quitting bestows upon us. My motto from the start was and still is "Whatever it takes"......Onwards we go, Gizz.

5/13/02

sal(ice)farina from phoenix

On February 10th 2002, I wrote in "quit dipping" into a general search and came upon this site. The next day February 11th, I vowed to never dip tobacco again. A miracle? divine intervention? luck? Call it what you want but this site helped me to quit a ten year addiction and probably saved my life! THANK YOU!

BeatingTheBear

That search led me to this site and this site placed me on the path to success. They say with knowledge comes power and this forum provided the knowledge that empowered me to succeed. Reading all the posts from those who both succeeded and failed clearly defined the coming battles and strategies required to win this war. I cannot thank Matt enough for creating this site. I truly believe that this site coupled with all the people that participate in the forum have saved my life. I pray that some day I'll be able to give back half as much as I've taken from this site. I am a far better husband, father, and person without tobacco than I ever was with it. I will not dip again, I AM DONE!

It was my decision and really I did it for myself and no one else. It was my choice to leave tobacco and it was my own actions that were causing the anxiety and withdrawal symptoms I was experiencing. I wasn't suffering because of some oppressive action by someone else. This is my decision. I was choosing to do this and I was in control. Everyday got a little easier. A few bumps here and there, but I got stronger and it got weaker.

So now after 100 days I am in the Hall of Fame. What does this mean? Am I cured of my addiction? Are the cravings completely gone? The simple truth to the matter is no. One hundred days is just a benchmark and the success of my continued quit can still be considered to be balanced on the head of a pin. Although the back breaking cravings from the first week one are far behind me, one little slip and I will fall back into daily routine of feeding a monster that will slowly take my life. I actually woke this morning after 100 days and briefly thought about getting a can to celebrate my hard earned accomplishment.

Having said all that, I challenge any of you reading this to join me. I dare you to reach 100 days without the can. Make the decision and fight like you have never fought before and turn the temptations into your inspirations. You have the ability to take control and make the decision to quit. The QS Café is here to help you but it is the end, you have to decide. Life out from under the can is possible and you really do have the feelings of being free. Thanks to all for the support. Mr. P

How did a guy like me with more excuses than sense finally come to quit for 100 days. Well I'll tell you, I was just getting pumped up for my monthly quit. I had one last can to chew and I told the wife, " I'm quitting, this time I mean it...stop laughing, after I finish this can I'm gonna whoop this thing, seriously it's not that funny." Then it happened, I found this quitsmokeless website and read some of the stories. Hey, these stories sound familiar, and some of these folks are actually making it longer than a week without the weed. I must find out how they do that. Well that was it, I started reading the posts and getting encouragement from the other quitters, when I had the rage I could come here and type and when I was overcome by cravings I would take a trip to the cancer gallery, yea that's a look I want. Now at 100 days, I'm just looking forward to tomorrow. I still have cravings and I'm sure I always will but I've learned how to deal with them so I don't rip my fingernails off anymore.

So what's my secret? I will not dip. It's as simple and as complex as that. I will eat a dozen doughnuts, chew a pack of gum, drink a quart of water, or bang my head against the wall, but I will not dip. I drink ton's of water and in the evenings when the cravings hit, I put on some music and work out or run until I'm too tired to dip. My wife thinks I'm addicted to excersize now, that's ok because she also says I look better than ever. I rarely chew seeds and at 100 days I've lost all the weight that I gained from the doughnuts. By the way I couldn't find a website to get me off the doughnuts, I had to kick that habit alone.

Thanks to Matt and all the wonderful folks who grace the pages of this website. It's been said before, but I couldn't have done it without you. After 20 yrs I finally found something that works, oh and I will not dip again. Thanks again.

Soon it was Skoal and just before college it was Copenhagen. I was a serious athlete. I swam competitively, played football and track. Dipping was enhancing my performance, I was certain of it. Those burnout's that smoked cigarettes were stupid, they didn't know how much better Copenhagen was. I felt unbreakable as most teenagers do. If anyone ever thought to tell me it was bad for me, I defended my actions. I told them that I wasn't harming them. That dip was much better than smoking because it didn't give off any second hand smoke. It didn't harm anyone. The rings in my jeans showed my strength as a male. It was a badge of testosterone. Dipping was who I was and defined me as a strong, heterosexual male.

I was lucky enough to meet and marry a beautiful woman. She rarely questioned my habit. I remember her telling me she thought I looked cool when I dipped. She had to accept my habit as part of the package deal and conversations about me quitting were short. I would always nip them in the bud with excuses like.. "Its my only vice" or "No one really gets cancer from dipping" or "It's not hurting anyone". I truly believed these things. After seven years of marriage we had a baby boy and 3 years later, another boy. Neither one of those events inspired me to quit chewing Copenhagen.

To this day, I don't recall what it was that made me want to stop. I think it was a feeling that came over me that I was tired of it. I was sick of being tied to a can of tobacco to derive so called 'pleasure'. I had come to hate the way my gums ached everyday. I hated the fact that my teeth never really became white when I brushed them and they bled if I brushed too hard. The fact that I had cup after cup around my house to make it convenient to spit. I hated the idea that when I had about 3 or 4 dips left in a can, I would feel nervous if I didn't go get another can to 'back up' the old one. I hated the grains of tobacco all over my car interior. I hated the fact that I couldn't carry my new born son, his bottle and my cup at the same time. I would sit there, with a mouth full of spit, mad at him because he didn't eat fast enough. I didn't like that my 3 year old would get out of the tub and pretend to spit in my cup next to the bath tub because he saw Daddy doing it. I hated that if I went more than an hour without a dip and snapped at my wife or family about something stupid, my wife would tell me that I am being jerk and to go get a chew. (now she just tells me I am being a jerk, without the last part).

I was sitting at my desk when I decided to surf the web. Honestly, I had found the Quit Smokeless website once in the past and had book marked it. I read through it, looked at the pictures and read the articles before. But this time, I did something different. I posted on the QS Forum. I told whoever was out there that I wanted to quit, that I hated this addiction and I didn't know how I was ever going to stop. Within minutes I was overwhelmed at the many responses I received not only on the web site but through personal emails. The fact that these people took time out of their lives to email me suggestions on how to make it through the night without chewing absolutely blew me away. They wanted nothing from me other than my honest effort to free myself from this horrible addiction. It was the first time I had ever heard of other people experiencing the same struggles as me. I was hooked into quitting almost immediately.

But I had "been-there, done-that" many times and I had no idea how to quit. I read through the web site and all the links and there are suggestions and things, but no where is there a book or a manual that says, 'Day 1.. do this'. Thats where the web site came in handy. See everyone quits for different reasons and different quit-aides work for some people and not for others. There is no secret success formula. I knew for me, there was only one way to do it and do it for good. I decided that if I was going to make this last I had to change alot. I stopped eating foods that were bad for me. I started on a high protein, low carb diet. (Before this, I didn't even know what had protein in it and what didn't). I stopped drinking soda's and coffee. I joined a gym on the way home that evening and signed up for a few sessions with a personal trainer that would set me on a workout routine. I started drinking water like there was no tomorrow. Water, water, water and more water. It took my mind off it. I was drinking more than 10 bottles of water a day at 17 oz's each. Everytime I thought about dipping Copenhagen, I took a swig. Of course this led to alot of trips to the bathroom, which occupied my brain in other ways too. I never went to the patch or nicotine gum, my opinion was that I didn't want to replace one habit with the other. I used Smokey Mountain Chew for about the first two weeks, to accompany me when I was in situations where gum and seeds just couldn't cut it. Like golfing, cutting grass, movies, sitting at my computer, driving, breathing, shaving, sitting on the toilet and just about any other time that reminded me of chewing.

But even the best laid plans won't work without determination. Alot of people come to the web site and expect to find a miracle. There are none. What I found was that ultimately, I was the one quitting. I was the one driving past the gas station and not buying the dip. I was the one saying chew or don't chew. I had to change my mindset so that no matter if the world ended today, there would be one constant in my life... and that was the idea that I was not going to put tobacco in my mouth that day. No one can put that determination in you, except you. No wife, no girlfriend, no family member will ever talk you into quitting until you are ready. Believe me. So, I printed out the emails from fellow quitters and carried them with me. I kept pictures of my kids with me. I played mock conversations in my head, explaining to my wife and children that Daddy wouldn't be around for them because I was not strong enough to fight off the temptation of a can of tobacco. I imagined not being there to see them grow up, graduate, get married and have kids. Try it sometime. Every single morning when I looked in the mirror I told myself 'I will not dip today and I will not dip tomorrow'. I still do that. As many times a day as it takes.

I have to admit, it was not easy. I had it all going on. Night sweats, withdrawal symptoms, "Dip-Rage", constipation, nervousness, lack of concentration and panic attacks. I faced each one with more and more determination. I posted on the QS Forum like there was no tomorrow. (Those of you that have read my information know that I was never short for words, re: The BLUESMAN). But it helped ease the pain. I felt stronger with each post. I stayed close to the web site. I was lucky enough to have Matt accept my suggestion to add the "Dollars Saved" to the Quit Track and it gave me a sense of giving something back to my fellow quitters. Everytime I see my dollars climbing higher and higher, I feel a small sense of accomplishment.

I owe alot to the people that helped me in my battle... Without specifics they are THE BLUESMAN, Shane, Gary, Brant, Plantercat, JR from Arizona, Gizz, Dan in PA, TomW in OH, Jon, Indy Scott, Mark in NM, LFH, Bryan, Hoyt, Dave Savoca (Pres of Smokey Mountain), BeatingTheBear(BTB), Cubby, Randy in Indiana, BATES, Tractorman, FISH, JP, MC, Jimmo, Philip, LF, Mr. P, Kevin, The DipSlayer, Law and Kyle.. I am sure I missed someone in there and I apologize. You have no idea how much strength you have given me. I would be extremely wrong to not thank the brains behind the whole operation and that is Matt van Wyk, without none of this would be attainable. I owe my life to him as well as all of you that have been there to listen to me ramble. I draw more strength from posting that you do from reading, believe me.

I hope to have had my last dip on Feb 25th 2002. I hope to never have to worry about the rough patches in my mouth. I hope to never have a sore throat that I have to wonder about. But most of all, I hope that my involvement here has inspired someone else to give up chewing tobacco and Stay Strong!

Today I got an e-mail from Bates telling me I had reached 100 days. I had a friend from church who had quit smoking and chewing a few years ago ask me how I was doing. I told him I was at approximately 60 days and he asked why even keep track anymore. After that I think that my mindset changed. I got busy at work and home and my time on the computer dropped to where I checked the QS website about once a week or less. I bought two cans of SMC about two months ago. I have barely touched the second can and will probably throw it out soon. Sunday afternoon while working at a demolition derby one of my fellow firefighters opened up a can of Skoal about 15 feet away from me and it made me sick. I think that I have reached the point where I can say that I am winning. The fight is never over though.

To those just starting it can be a rough way to go when you quit but trust me, in the end it is worth the effort. I've said it before and I will say it again, no more of this sh*t for me.

I, however, deserve only so much credit for this victory. You see there are many individuals much stronger than I, whose contributions, in their totality, enabled a simple man like myself to achieve such a lofty goal. Individuals such as Matt Van Wyk himself.

Matt, there is positively no doubt in my mind that I would not have quit had it not been for your site, your vision and your compassion toward your fellow man. This site is quite simply the deciding factor in the lives of many. The ONLY deciding factor for those addicted to smokeless tobacco. To you sir, I owe an awesome debt.

Individuals like Rick in Tampa, who was positively invaluable and remains a true friend, a person with which I have weathered a mighty storm. Individuals like JR, who reminded me that dipping is a dangerous, dangerous decision, with heavy consequences. Individuals like Mark in NM and Luke and Ranger in West Virginia, who taught me that adversity is no match for a strong will and fierce heart. Along the way, I met Plantercat, who taught me about what it means to conduct yourself with class. And Bluesman, who taught me a little something about the importance of "giving back". And let's not forget Jogi, whose knack for diplomacy and good will has made this board a better place for all. How about Gizz and Dutchman in PA, who gave me role models to identify with. And how about Zach, whose stories I so closely identified with that I was at times almost frightened. There's Pup and Jimmo in California who came on board late in my quit and showed me that the 80 day craves can be successfully traversed. What about Bassin, with whom I shared stories about my true passion, the great outdoors, to pass the time during craves. Out-of-bounds, who taught me to open myself up to my fellow quitters, risks be damned, for the reward can be great. I will never forget his email after my very first post, in which he gave me his telephone number. I never called him, but I never forgot it either. Viceless, who I shared "closet-dipping" tales with. How about Otown Dave, who unselfishly stuck with me (and many others) long after he'd passed the 100 day mark. And Cabbagetowner, who took a special interest in my quit right from the start. Then there's Fish (my PA brother) and Bribot (a Browns fan, but still a decent enuf guy) and LF (the coattail rider himself) and the poster-formerly-known-as-MikeY and olywa Mike G. (who just HAS to be my separated at birth twin brother) and Jerry (Big Gimp) (who will never be my agent) and Otter (the Vitamin & Herb Nazi) and all of the other younger quitters who reminded me, as Jogi likes to say, just how close the rubber is to the road.

I would like to thank all who tolerated my sometimes annoying, sometimes incoherent, sometimes condescending, always smart-assed posts without so much as a complaint. It is you folks that who are as much responsible for this as I, and it is a debt that I cannot even begin to repay. I will begin, however, by not letting you down. By not tarnishing the integrity of this site. By not using tobacco ever again.

Finally, I would like to thank my wife and son, who will probably never read this. You have endured 100 days of hell because I chose, many years ago, to experiment with a stupid can filled addictive, cancer-causing, life-shortening plant matter. I wish I could give you those 100 days back and all of the days that preceded them, when I was often more concerned about getting my fix than focusing on you. You two are my everything. I will spend the rest of my days paying you back.

That is all.
Bates is done.

Today, first I Thank Matt. A huge man among men who found away way to help men restore their dignity and character. Matt all I can say is thanks, you are awesome. I thank Rick in Tampa for the personal e-mails in the early days when you spoke as though you knew me and cared that I quit. Plantercat, you are truly a brother, you knew exactly what I was going through and were able to communicate that to me. Bates, you are a wild man. I woke up every day and read my Bible then turned on my computer to see what incredible experience you would describe today. Luke in NM, I remember your struggles early on...Keep walking, you have been an inspiriation to me. Toadster, Gizz, John P., all of you men have saved my life. Chaps, I don't know if you will ever read this but I hope to be at your induction in just a few months. You were so inspirational to me. We grew up in the same country and in the same culture. I know your struggles and I hope to see you keeping the fight. Never quit quitting.

Above all, I thank my beautiful wife who put up with this nasty stuff for Nineteen years longer than I told her she would have to. I told her that when we got married I would quit. Sweetheart, the lie is over. And to my precious kids, no more spitcans full of copenhagen rather than Dr. Pepper. I am sorry for the indescretion I used. But I do look forward to seeing each of you graduate from HS, I look forward to seeing my grandkid's with a full face, and I look forward to a lotta life left outside of a self imposed prison. We will Party!!

To all who think it cannot be done.....I am a living testimony that the can "can be overcome". With The Lord's help, the cafe, and your family it can be done.

Thanks to the QS Cafe and all who drink from the bar. The friendships and relationships offered here are the best.

Adios,.....Mark in NM

I have made it! 100 days straight with no chewing tobacco or nicotine flowing through my veins. My story is most likely familiar to many of you. Started chewing tobacco my sophomore year in high school when my buddy gave me a dip. Started out with Skoal Wintergreen, moved on up the nicotine strength chart to Kodiak, Skoal Long Cut Straight, and then to Copenhagen. I have been addicted to chewing tobacco for 22 years. I have spent well over $10,000 on chewing tobacco products. I haven't been to the dentist in over 5 years due to fear of what they might say - gum surgery, tooth loss, or cancer. I have hid my addiction from my wife and kids for over 10 years now. Does that make any sense?

"There comes a time in a man's life when to get where he has to go -- if there are no doors or windows he walks through a wall." -- Bernard Malamud

After trying to quit unsuccessfully over 50 times on my own I was fortunate enough to find this site which, in my opinion, has saved my life. I posted regularly, read others' posts, congratulated others in their efforts to quit, and felt a part of a family of individuals struggling with addiction like I was. Without this site, and the help and encouragement of others here, I would not be where I am today - enjoying a life free of the clutches of chewing tobacco. Although it has been said many times, if I can do this, anyone can. I quit for me but also for those that love me and need me - my wife, my kids, my parents. The bottom line is that chewing tobacco is a selfish, self-destructive, expensive, and extremely addictive habit. It took all the strength I had to quit and the first few weeks are always the most difficult. I was dizzy, tired, irritable, depressed. But anything that is worthwhile achieving is never easy. And I have now achieved a life that is free of guilt, free of compulsion, and free of addiction. I can now fully focus on the things that are, and should be important to me - my family, my work, my health, my life.

If you're reading this story, I hope it helps you in your efforts to quit chewing tobacco. Stay strong, keep quitting, and enjoy life!

"Press on: nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." -- Calvin Coolidge

Speaking of motivation, What better motivation than to look at the people in our lives that care about us and desparetly want us to be around to see future graduations, weddings, births of children and grand children. I can not bear the thought that if I continue to use tobacco products that I will not only deprive myself of watching my children grow up and settle into their lives, but I will also deprive them of having the father that they deserve. I have already given tobacco enough of my time and money and it feels great to finally dedicate that time to my family, where it should have been spent all along.

I have faced the fact that I will be a "junkie" and an addict forever and that I can be lured back into this addiction with any mental lapse, and that is why I continue to visit and post on this forum because I will need the support for some time to come. Guys like JP Texas, Bates, Jogi, Bluesman, Mark in NM, Rick Tampa have inspired me every step of this journey, but the ultimate thanks goes to the creator of this unbelievable forum Matt. Thanks a million Matt.

STOPPED KILLING MYSELF ON 3/12/02 !!!!!!

For the benefit of the new quitters, I'll tell you what I've learned. Your mileage may vary, but I've see other quitters in the forum with similar experiences:

• The first three weeks are the absolute worst. If you can make it that far, your chances of making it to the Hall of Fame (and beyond) are very good.
• Your addiction will lie to you every chance it gets. "One dip won't hurt. You've made it this far, you can quit again. You can't quit now, you have to (insert important task here)." Don't listen to the lies!
• Green tea helps. I don't know why. I'm not even sure how it helps. I just know it helps.
• Get something to keep your mouth busy. I like Bacc-Off, but try everything until you find something you like.
• Post and read every day. I firmly believe that, had I done everything else to quit, but not used the forum every day, I would have failed. The support system is the key ingredient, the X factor, the missing link.

Tempus fugit, memento mori. (Time flies, remember death.) This is not meant to bum anybody out, but it underscores what a bittersweet accomplishment this is. Yes, I am overjoyed by my newfound freedom from nicotine -- BUT -- just how the hell did I let this go on for 20 years? I don't have an acceptable answer. My life is scarred by the constant poisoning of my body. So, here is the biggest reason of all to quit: Someday, you will regret not quitting. Don't pass up that golden moment, when you are ready to quit, but you only have to take that leap and toss the tin. If you stumble, come to the forum and we'll prop you up.

Thanks to all who have shown me their support and patience: my wife, and the rest of my family, and those of you who had to read (scroll past? :) my posts. Thanks especially to Bates, Bluesman, JR, Andrew, Rick, who, with their emails, helped me take this personally. Thanks to Matt for maintaining this site. (Does anybody know how that Nobel prize nomination thang works?) Thanks to that stubborn little bulldog in all of us, helping us quit everyday. See ya in the forum!

What I can try to offer to you, the people reading this passage, is to keep with it. Dont give up. Visit this site often. There are a lot of people who are willing to help you out through posts or email. Do everything in your power so that you dont dip, eat sleep, exercise etc...The first few days are the worst, but then it gets easier.

1) I never thought I would make it to 100 days.

2) The first weeks are tough but it gets exponentially easier.

3) Nicotine clouds your mind and limits your life prospects, because addicts live dip to dip.

4) The tobacco industry is an evil beast brandishing a drug whose addictiveness is comparable to that of cocaine. It's goal is to incorporate you into its profit margins at the price of your relationships, personal freedom, and eventual but near-certain early death to cancer.

5) There is always a reason not to quit. Sometimes they are negative reasons, like needing dip to deal with [marital stress, death of a family member, important assignments at school/work, bad weather, financial crisis]. Sometimes they are positive reasons like, "I can make an exception and dip a while longer because [I'm on vacation, my buddies are in town, I've dipped this long/will quit soon, watching the game/seeing the movie/driving the car/going golfing just isn't the same without dip, I need to reward myself for success at work/school/golf/boy scouts]." Don't think there will ever, ever come a day when you can't come up with a good reason not to quit. You'll die with your last dip in your mouth.

6) Corollary to [5]. The irony associated with all of the above rationalizations for not quitting is that the ex-dipper soon realizes, after his mind is clear of nicotine, that far from being a coping tool or an enhancer of any of these situations and activities, dip had a trying, destructive effect on all of them. Golf is better when you can smell the fairway and not dribble brown juice on your white shirt. Family crises are easier dealt with when you don't have to break awkwardly away from important moments to have your secret dip. Finances wouldn't be as tight if you weren't spending $100/200/more(?) each month on tobacco.

But we all know this already. So I'll say one new thing here. I never told the story of how I got hooked. It's common enough, but it proves a point. I was a college student. I went to a frat party. There was a Rooster table. Two free cans just for filling out a little card. I'm sure the dippers of my school were thanking their lucky stars. But the two free cans aren't for the already-hooked. They are for the Me's of the world. The merely-curious. It's free so there's really no loss. Hell, I can even put down a fake address so I won't get any junk mail. These fools won't know the difference. Suckers.

Yeah, they were the suckers. At that time--I remember this very clearly--I didn't even know how to dip. I thought since it was chewing tobacco, you were meant to just throw it in your mouth and chew it like you chew food. A wise [!] friend showed me how it was properly done, and one day I went to the 7-11 and bought some cans of Skoal. Remember, this was all still just an experiment. Man I was a city boy, I just wanted to try to understand what this country stuff was all about. I tried Wintergreen and liked it. Burned a bit. Cherry wasn't my style [since when did I have a "style" with regard to dip?]. And one day I discovered Skoal Straight, and I fell in love. Everything was better with my lover there. Movies were more fun. Car trips were more fun. Reflective moments on the balcony and roof of my Philadelphia row house were more fun. Sitting in front of the computer writing papers was way more fun. And all of a sudden you hit a moment where you realize that you cant just lie anymore and pretend that its just an experiment and you can quit any time you want. You realize that you have become that fool, that addict, that sucker for your hourly nicotine injection. and that its eventually going to kill you.

There's not a lot more to say. You know how the rest of the story goes. Years pass. Zillions of quit attempts, often lasting only a few hours. And one day my self-respect as a dipper hits rock bottom and I find the site and find the inspiration and the support I need to NEVER DIP AGAIN.

Thank you to Matt Van Wyk for his vision and hard work, and thank you to all the people that supported me along the way, even if they didn't know it (Bluesman, Gizz, Jogi, Mark in NM, Bates. you know the list). I wasn't the biggest poster but I read a hell of a lot and I posted now and then. I'll still be kickin' around now and then once I get settled in Japan (!). Anyone on the board is welcome to email me if there is any way I can help them. As always, Peace.

My first dip came while in High school track practice. We would run with bandits and suck on them on the way to track meets. It wasn't untill My freshman year in college that I took a big fat dip of Kodiak. It made me fall over it was so strong. It didn't take long to start chewing Cope. I was chewing at a rate of 1 tin a day in College and at the time one of our favorite bands was 311 so we would get up and have a dip at 3:11am. I would never chew in public and hid it from my girlfriend. It wasn't till after we were engaged she found out about the habit. So like any other worthless addict I did what came natural, I lied and told her I would quit. So then I had to go underground. That was the worst place to be. Constantly hiding and chewing. When I think about it, I wasted so much time chewing when I could have spent time with my wife. So then came May 1st, 2002. The day I woke up and said enough is enough. It was my wifes birthday and I just said that I wanted to cele! brate more with her. So I begain to crawl out of the basement. Now, 100 days later I'm here, feeling so much better. I will not lie - It is hell going thru the first couple weeks, even months. I had the rages, (got mad because there was to many hashbrowns in the casserole) had a bad case of the retards, and sleepless nights with headaches. But I have prevailed and will live to fight another day. I just want to say that this community has made my quit a reality not a lie. I have a new love for life and those around me. Keep strong everyone and keep your goals short with good rewards. If you put your mind to it you can do anything.

I compiled a list of reasons to quit and carried it in my wallet. It separates the money from the receipts. I put it there so if I got the urge to splurge, I would see that list and hopefully discourage me from going through with it. Here's the list:

Reasons I want to quit:
1. What chick would want to kiss me?
2. The lump in my jaw line is unattractive.
3. Since I don't swallow, my throat gets too dry.
4. Bad breath.
5. Yellow teeth.
6. Receding gums.
7. Maintaining spit cans.
8. I don't get a buzz from it anymore.
9. Lower blood pressure.
That last one is more important than I thought. You see, my older brother chewed heavily (no, he was not the person who introduced it to me), but was told to quit nicotine and caffeine by the doctor who amputated his leg. He had a clot and it could've killed him. I too have quit caffeine, well coffee anyway.

A few of the lies I kept telling myself:
·Chewing is better than smoking. If I get cancer, I would be able to tell right away.
·I don't have to go outside to get my nicotine fix.

A few of the defining moments that finally convinced me to quit:
·My 5-year-old daughter handing a can to me. I never want to see that again.
·My 10-year-old daughter spitting on the ground, copying me.
·Washington raising the tax on tobacco. You can easily pay $6 for one can.

There's a whole lot more to say, but I'll just leave it to future posts. Big thanks to Matt and this site.

Some of the things I've noticed since I quit dipping...food tastes better...my breath doesn't stink of tobacco...I have more money (which this year is going to corrective gum surgery necessitated by tobacco causing my lower gums to recede)...I'm not compelled to find spitters anywhere and everywhere, my car doesn't stink in the summer of dip. My house doesn't stink of dip. My hands and clothes don't stink of dip. It's nice to be able to have a life that doesn't revolve around tobacco. I can enjoy a movie with my son. I can enjoy coaching baseball without having the jitters near the end of practice because waiting to dip out of the shame of dipping in front of the other kids.

Thanks to Matt for setting up this site...I would never have been able to quit without it. Thanks to the old-timers who were great at offering me support (especially the first 2 weekends...arggghhh...I NEVER want to go through that again).

I now can really see that life is better without my life revolving around that stupid tin and when I need that next dip!!!!!!

THE LAST 100 DAYS
So why did you decide to stop chewing? For me it was simple. Fear. After years of chewing and knowing that it was bad for me, I was sitting at my computer with my customary "after work dip" (not to be confused with the "on the way home from work dip"), when I stumbled upon a site called QuitSmokeless.org. I checked out some of the posts and the cancer gallery. That did it. Nothing more, nothing less. I spit out the dip, went for a walk to think about things, and have not put one in since. I've tried to quit over the years several times but always came back for more. Didn't have the will power I thought. I realize now that I had the will power but not the motivation and support that is so critical when one attempts a journey like this. Had I not found this site and begun posting, Id still be killing myself today.

THE NEXT 100 DAYS
Looking forward, I'm pretty damned excited. So many things in my life that I took for granted now get the attention they deserve. I used to avoid going to see my girlfriend after work so I could go home and have a dip. What a moron. I love this girl and Id rather cradle my spit cup! Now she is thinking of getting a shock color to keep me at bay. Yet another benefit of a tobacco free life, your sex drive goes through the roof! I'm working out again and plan to continue until I get rid of this pony keg I'm packing around. Too many things were missed or avoided to get that fix. That part of my life is over. The new Bud is a sex crazed, work-out-aholic, green tea pounding machine and I love it. Watch out baby!

THE BEST 100 DAYS
The past 100 days have held some of the most challenging moments of my life. Kicking this habit is no easy task, even for the strongest of us. It takes determination, will power, and above all else, it takes friends that can support and advise you every step of the way.

To: Jogi, Bates, Rick, LF, Olywa Mike, Jimmo, Kroch, Calgary Mike, Steve, JM, and so many more that have helped me: I've never seen any of your faces but the kindness in your hearts has blown me away. Without your support, Id still be chewing. Most of you are old timers in the cafe who would stay off the stuff if you didn't come back on here. Yet day after day, here you are helping out the new guys or giving them a kick in the ass if they need it. All I can say is Thank You, for everything. To Mr. Matt van Wyk: I know you have heard it a million times but it's as true now as it has ever been. This site is amazing! Without it, I could not have beaten this addiction.

100 Days and counting.

The Bud

True, a lot has already been said, here in the HOF, as well as in the Community, but the difference is in the 'how' of sharing our words and our stories. So, here's mine.

Not for a second did I ever doubt that I'd not reach the HOF, although in the beginning of my Q-u-i-t, I wondered how such a thing would be possible.. but, it was and it is.

Like so many other Quitters before me, I honestly believe that it was Providence which led me to find QuitSmokeless.org. I could not have made it this far without Matt's site. That's a blue-print fact. No kidding. !! Of course, the Community has helped me greatly, as well as my Quit Journal.. Thanks everyone!!!

I'm proud of my recent success.!! But, I have to tell you that I have felt that ol' demon- whose- name -begins- with- an "N", slip DIP DREAMS into my nightly slumbers, again... And, I think I know why. I've been saying to myself: "Ok, otter, so you made the HOF. Yippee for you, but what's next?"

Well, the 'what's next' part means living the rest of my HOF days nicotine free. It means not resting on my laurels, but rather, being responsible for myself and others through word, action and deed. I think that's tough. For anyone. I have come to think that living in the Community for the first 99 days was nothing but a training ground for what lies ahead. The Community was easy! The HOF doesn't stand for Hall of Fame for nothing. It was sheer hard work and strength of human will that got me and others here. We're not giving up our freedom without a fight, I can tell you! So, I just answered my own question. I'll be fighting my "what's next" all the way to those pearly gates..

Keep the Faith, everyone..

God bless,
Rusty

My journey toward a dip-free existence began 21 years ago when I was in the 9th grade in Colorado. It cost $0.89 a can for Copenhagen back in those days, and the clerk at the store would sell it to you as long as you were tall enough to slap that dollar on the counter. Thinking back, it seemed like I went through a can every 3 or 4 days in the early years. As I got older, more financially independent and "mature", I increased my usage up to a plateau of 1 can of Copenhagen per 24 hours, which I maintained until I quit over 100 days ago.

The Quit:

I only made one other quit attempt before this one. My wife became pregnant with twin boys 5 years ago and I decided it was a good time to quit. I used the patch for 5 days and quit on Superbowl Sunday. I stayed snuff-free until the kid's were born. Then the mother of all triggers rolled into town: My mother-in-law. LOL! I started back up in a clandestine sort of way (on the commode, in the shower, on the drive to pick up a few things from the grocery store, etc). Eventually, I was back to a can a day and back to the unempowered mindset that I was not in control of my life; a can of dirt held that distinction. Then the price started going up. I could afford to do it, but was having trouble coughing up that much money to slowly kill myself. That's not to say that killing yourself slowly at a cheap price is the route to go, but I digress. In the meantime, I notice 2 areas on my lower lip with a rather dramatic receding gum line. Those area's would be the left and right lower corners. You all know where that spot is, right? I told myself it was time to quit for health, my family, money and most importantly, for my personal maintenance. I did not like the feeling of being a slave. I was afraid of the weight gain I would invariably incur. I had been slowly gaining weight over the last 5 years. My job does not foster the ability to be mobile or exercise and my hours are off the charts. I was staring at going from 225 to 240 or worse during my quit, based on all the other testimonials. I did not want that to happen. So here is what I did: Stopped the Copenhagen and grinded hard mentally and physically for 8 days until "the fog" left me. The nicotine was no doubt gone by that time also. Then I started a workout regimen, which on day one consisted of walking on a tread mill for a mile, then practicing the lost art of power barfing into a small trashcan. I also tried a caffeine free soda (I was 4-6 20oz. Cokes per day). I don't drink coffee, unless it has "grandpa's cough syrup" in it, so basically I quit nicotine, caffeine, started working out daily and completely changed my diet in an 8 day time period. Talk about wiggin' out. I didn't have time to crave Copenhagen, I was too busy spazzing over my missed caffeine or working out. ( I got over the dry-heaves real fast). I came to this site everyday. In the beginning, I posted every couple hours, and that helped. My quit brothers are LF and MayDay. I gleaned help from a lot of the peeps that come here. I received 3 emails right after I quit giving me confidence. They were from Tom in OH, Rick in Tampa and JR in AZ. Apparently, Rick was the only one brave enough to give me the city he lives in. I appreciated the e-mails guys, I still have them saved. Others who helped along the way are (in no particular order and I am sure I leaving some out): Bates, Mark, Chris, Jogi, Bluesman, Mexico Bill, Planter Cat, Sender, Trout, Olywa Mike, Otown Dave, Matt and a ton of guys who are making their way to the HOF. I salute every one of you!

Arbitrary Stuff:

I never had a dip dream. Not one.
I don't miss it, and haven't had a bonafide crave since about day 50.
I never called it a "tin", "box", "snoose", etc. It was always a "can" or "snuff".
I once ate 3 small powdered donuts with a dip of Copenhagen in my mouth.
I once put an entire can of fine cut Copenhagen in my mouth.
I started my younger brother on it when he was 12. He quit last year.
I cannot express how much more I enjoy life now that I am free.
I lost 35 pounds through exercise and good eating from the time I started my quit until day 100.

There are a ton of other things related to my former habit that I wanted to expound on, but so many before me have already hit those nails on the head, and done it much more eloquently than I could.

Last, but not least, Copenhagen does *not* satisfy. If it did, you wouldn't want more. If you are thinking about quitting, take the plunge now. It is a life change for the better that you will forever be thankful you took. If you need guidance, assistance, support in your quit, I am here to help. If you are worried about the weight gain, as I was, then I would be more than happy to share with you what I did to shed 35 instead of gaining 15. Do not procrastinate. You will make someone that loves you love you even more for taking a personal interest in staying on the earth for a little longer by not putting cancer into your mouth. That's all for now. I will continue to read and post, and I look forward to reading all the post's from the future HOF'ers.

Later all.....

Chris in Dallas!

I didn't post the first month of my quit because I thought as a newbie I had little to contribute. By doing this I wasn't there to help and encourage the other folks that were quitting around the same time as me. Only after daily participation in the group did I realize the true impact potential that each member has on the whole quit community. Each one of us may be the only thing that keeps another person from failing their quit and killing themselves. You never know what inspiration you are giving to others - Notdeadyet giving his # days dip free, was one of mine. Everyone post often, and read even more.

The nicotine addiction is really a terrible, evil thing... until you are free of it physically you believe the lie that it's your friend. Only when you're a month or so down the road can you see that it's all untrue - an addiction that controls your life, steals your time and thoughts, and kills you. That's no friend by any stretch! Reading the pain and hurt expressed by fellow quitters shows that there is no "middle ground" in this war... either you choose to keep dipping and be a slave for the rest of your miserable shortened life, or you say NOPE TO COPE and be free. An alcoholic cannot have another drink, ever. It's the same for a nicotine addict... never again. Not that it will instantly plunge you into the pit of the addiction again, but the downward spiral will have that beginning momentum from that first dip (I don't smoke so the occasional cigar is a non-issue for me). Judging from the extreme guilt and feeling lousy just from a dip dream, having a dip isn't worth it, ever.

So what worked for me? I set a quit date 3 months in advance (last day of classes was my last day to dip), got agreement with my wife on that and no trying to get me to quit earlier, and vowed to God that I would stop on that day. Then I threw the ½ can left over Friday night after my last dip down the drain, and made the final resolution to NEVER use nicotine again. Saturday April 27th was not only my quit day but graduation day also. No gum or patch, seeds hurt my mouth too much, fake chew would only stimulate my desire for a real dip. So cold turkey it was. I did drink a lot of diet mt.dew, which seemed to help me for a while. God made it real easy for me... no headaches, nausea, rage, sleeplessness, or shakes. Prayer works!!! The only headaches I got were a little later on quitting the nutrasweet and the caffeine. My biggest problem in the whole quitting evolution was a lack of concentration for about the first month. I spent a lot of time reading posts. I expected all the symptoms on this quit that I'd experienced ever other time (probably 200 times attempted). Avoiding the rage was the biggest benefit this time. All I can tell you is it was a "God-thing" this time, and from the very beginning I knew it was forever. I believe by putting Him first in my life, praying, and having that absolute resolve about quitting allowed this quit to be "easy".

For those just beginning their quit, take heart - life is so much better now that it's "my" life, and not the can's. Problems are still here, but I'm able to handle them a whole bunch better because I'm thinking through them, not just getting angry and chucking-in a dip. My wife likes to kiss me again (a great bonus with a lady as good looking as she is). My kids respect what I've done, and it serves as a positive example for them to follow. And finally, I like myself a lot better, and feel I can accomplish just about anything now that I've moved this "problem" out of my life!

No going back. Nicotine free, one day-at-a-time, FOREVER!!!

Well, here I am crossing the threshold to what was once thought, to be an impossible endeavor. (Warning: this may be longer thank Rick's speech)

Just like so many others before me, I was a slave to a can filled with cut up leaves and a potpourri of chemicals. It controlled my every waking moment for 17 years of my life. Days, vacations and holidays were planned around this former habit. It was supposedly a friend. It would always be there for me and nothing could come between me and my former habit. It was a powerful drug that treated me like a puppet.

One of the most sobering times that made me realize how powerless I was, was when I had my wisdom teeth pulled several years ago. I had a very bad experience with getting those teeth pulled and yet when I got home I still wanted a dip. My cheeks were swollen out past my ears and my mouth was stuffed with gauze and guess what? You got it, I took a dip. Yes, with gauze in the mouth and everything, I did it. I couldn't spit; so I would just hang my head over the sink and let gravity do the rest. The brown and red juice was especially sobering. You may think that this would be a catalyst for a quit attempt, but it wasn't. It just instilled how powerless I felt. Nothing really bothered me for very long though and I would forget all about quitting. I was content on letting this drug beat me. That was the lie that I was living.

There was never a good time to quit and there was always a bad time to quit. Whenever I did decide to quit, it was always so easy to justify caving. If I got in fight with the wife, too much stress at work, the planets weren't aligned correctly, etc. These were all great reasons stop my quit. That was the lie that I was living.

Sooner or later you come to the realization that you need to quit and that this time you need to quit for yourself. All of the other reasons, your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, kids and family are just the icing on the cake. I think the way we reach this realization is different for all of us; as is the time it takes us to make this realization. For me, it was a combination timing and courage. The timing was my friend Rick telling me about this site (yes, long winded Rick from Tampa) and the courage came from seeing others like yourselves succeed. I feel this was all made possible by God. I truly feel that God works in mysterious ways and I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason.

So, could I have done this on my own? I certainly couldn't in the past, so I'm not sure what would have changed. In fact, I am 100% certain I couldn't do this on my own. So, some thanks are in order. First and foremost I would like to thank the Lord for giving the strength and courage to do this; as well as giving me the tools such as this site to be successful.

To my wife, thank you for supporting me and believing in me and most importantly the unconditional love you gave me. I would also like to apologize for all of the little white lies and the deceit that was caused by my former habit. Thank you for understanding.

To Rick in Tampa, a 1000 thank you's would never be enough for introducing me to this site. You helped me in the beginning of my journey and your support has continued throughout my first 100 days. Thank you. You are a true friend.

To Matt van Wyk, you will have my vote for the Nobel Peace Prize or some sort of humanitarian award! You are a special person and I thank you for creating this site. I hope you realize the impact you have had on all of us. You should be proud.

To Jogi: it amazes me that someone in the 5th floor continues to be play such a roll in helping people quit. Once again you are what this site is all about. I will be taking you up on that 5th floor scotch.

To Bates, ahh hell you just make me laugh! Ok, all kidding aside I appreciate all of the encouragement and support you've shown me; as well as the pleasantries we've exchanged (ahem). You too have become a good friend.

To Tom in OH, Bluesman and Mr. P, thank you for taking the time in the first couple of weeks to send me an email. It meant a lot to me and it taught me early what this site is all about.

Otown Dave, Calgary Mike, Buddy B, Plantercat and Mark in NM, you guys gave me inspiration and you made it through some difficult times. Thank you for helping me.

Steve in Tally, Mayday, NyRanger, Kevin in ATL, Chrishead, Mr. Yams, Justshawn and the rest of our class: Thank you all. We are winning the fight. Thank you for the camaraderie and for pulling each other through the difficult times. I am looking forward to seeing you all in the Hall.

Lastly (I know FINALLY! and no, Rick did not write this for me), to QFK, Big Tex, Matt11targa, 12yrdipper, trying, Rich, Catskin and 4woogie: you guys must continue to give back and help the newbies. Stay the course and you will be joining us. I'm proud of all each one of you.

If you are reading this site and wondering if you can do this, you can. I am proof of it. Will it be difficult? Yes, but you will become stronger and a better person because of it. Life is so much better without tobacco in your life. Everything you did with tobacco can be done without it and it will also be just as enjoyable. This was a life changing experience and will affect every facet of your life. Gut out the first week, it does get much better after that. Stay the course and reaffirm your resolve daily. Remember that craves will pass whether you take a dip or not and most importantly don't ever quit quitting.

To everyone that has ever posted on this site, a sincere thank you. I would not have made it this far without you sharing your struggles and successes with me. If I can do this, anyone can do this. Stay strong and keep fighting the fight. I no longer dip.

Keep the faith, Amigo's

LF

I started smoking 16 years ago when I was a freshman in college. Quickly got to a pack a day and then I started dipping Cope. At one point I was dipping a can of Cope AND smoking a pack of Camel Lights every day! Fairly quickly the smoking dropped away and the Cope stayed. Eventually I changed to Skoal Long Cut Mint, which I dipped over a can a day for the last 12 years until May 1st, 2002.

There is never a good time to quit. Here is a list of what has been going on these last 100 days. The first 3 weeks were hell, couldn't really focus or function. Just as I was coming out of that, on day 21 my father asked me to go have a drink with him. He told me he was having surgery the next day because he might have lung cancer. It turns out that he does have lung cancer, they removed 1/3 of his right lung and several lymph nodes the next day. He is now 6 weeks into chemo & radiation treatment and he looks and feels awful. At least he has given up smoking! Meanwhile, his fiancé's father has been in the hospital with end stage lung cancer from asbestos for the past several months - he died last week. On the other side of life's pendulum, we had our 2nd daughter on June 17th. She is terrific but keeping track of an infant and a 16 month old on top of everything else has been a challenge. Fortunately my wife has been wonderful and very supportive with our daughters as well as everything else. All of this is to say, that the only "good" time to quit is when you won't let all the crap that is part of life and living and dying get in the way of your quit.

The truth is that without this board and the help of all of you, I would have caved several different times. However, I just couldn't imagine coming to the board to restart my quit track at day 1. I couldn't imagine writing a post that started, "well I caved because......." I just couldn't do it. My struggle right now is the thought that I can have just one. Just one on my terms at the time I pick. You know just for old times sake and to see how it tastes. I know that this doesn't work. I had quit for 170 days in 1996 and had "just one". Before the week was out, I was back to a can a day.

Some of the things that I don't miss: 1) Going into a store with a dip in my mouth and getting stuck in a line while the spit builds in my mouth until I can't talk and can only mumble. About that time someone would try to engage me in conversation and so I'd tilt my head back and to the side and try to talk without drooling all over myself or covering them with the lovely brown sludge. Option B (if you didn't know the person) was to just act like you were Mute! 2) Similar to # 1 but this time your stuck in a car without a cup and you keep hitting all the lights just RIGHT (damn it) until you feel like you will erupt. 3) Sneezing dip everywhere, car windshield, phone, desk, shirt, computer, wife, etc - it was such a great spray! 4) Spilling a dip cup all over the desk, floor, car or worst of all myself. I don't know how many times I was startled in a movie and spilled the cup in my lap; talk about feeling and looking stupid! I would leave the movie promising that that was the last straw and I meant too, at least until I got some clean pants on. 5) Spitting in the wrong Dr. Pepper bottle and then taking a big swig of my favorite refreshment. 6) Stopping at the store, wasting $5 on a can and another $1 on a drink only to dump the drink out so I'd have a place to spit. 7) Park a fatty in the car while I ran into the store to get something (didn't want a repeat of # 1), then reload the tepid stinky crap as soon as I got back to the car while my wife looked at me like I was the stupidest, most pathetic person she had ever seen. 8) Sneaking out of a wedding or party or whatever so I could go walk around outside alone to have a dip while all my friends were inside having a good time. How stupid was / am I? I don't miss any of these things, but I do still have an urge to dip. How does that make any sense at all? It doesn't, so I guess we all have to decide, again and again every day, how stupid am I? Today I am not THAT stupid! NDT

For me, I believe it is as simple as either dipping or not dipping. I either choose to engage in activities that promote my health and life, or I can choose to squander my health with activities that poison my mind & body. It really is that simple, it's just that the road can get awfully steep and narrow at times. When the road gets really steep and narrow remember all of your friends here at the QS Cafe and remember that Tobacco Really Kills. If that isn't enough to help you along, just come back and read all of your posts, especially the ones from the first couple weeks when life really sucked and ask yourself if you want to do that again!

Thanks to Matt, everyone in my quit class, and everyone on this site for helping me make it to this point. I am grateful to all those who have paved the trail ahead of me, and to all those who are following along, we'll keep the light on for you just like Motel 6.

"... the surest failure is the unattempted walk." Lucille Clifton

"Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark."

I am a better father, husband father and friend since quitting. I no longer run off to be by myself to feed an addiction.

But what I'm most proud of is I have gained control. Before the dirt controlled me. Now it is my choice whether I chew today or not.

All those early in the quit trust us when we say it gets better and getting control over your LIFE is sooooooo worth the short term pain. It ain't easy but it can be done.

I didn't post until the second day, but I immediately knew I was at the right place! Guys like Andrew, Kevin in Atlanta, Jimmo, Bates, Gizz, Bassin, Jogi, beth jr's wife, Mark in NM, LF, Headcase and many others replied to my posts and sent personal messages to my email address. I couldn't believe I had found a support group for people wanting to stop dipping! The support I received from this site gave me the feeling that I was really going to make it.

This has been a crazy 100 days. The first week was miserable - I couldn't sleep at all but somehow I made it. The second, third, and forth weeks were somewhat better but I was in a constant "fog". Before I knew it I had made it to the 30 day mark. I thought to myself "Hey this wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be". Then day 31 came and it was like I had started all over again. Lesson learned - Keep your guard up. As the folks who have gone through this with me know my darkest day was day 90. I was craving so bad that I almost gave up. When I tried to talk about it with my wife, I literally broke down in tears. Once again though, the members of this community did nothing but get behind me and keep me on course.

My favorite story of this journey came when my 7 year-old son went on a trip to Disney World with my mother. He was shopping for souvenirs and ask my mom to take him to the grocery store to buy my gift. Of course mom couldn't understand why, so she asked and he said "Daddy's friends on the computer said that sunflower seeds might help him quit tobacco". Here he was on an awesome vacation and was thinking about his dad's tobacco addiction and how much he wanted him to stop. That's when I knew there would be no turning back! As someone on the site said, we'll do anything not to disappoint our children.

Well, I'm getting too long so I'll end with this. Thanks to God for answering my prayer. I know I couldn't have done this without Him. Thanks to Matt for maintaining this site. Thanks to those of you who have supported me along the way. You wouldn't know me if we were standing face to face yet you supported me 100% and I'll always remember you for that. Thanks so much to my wonderful wife and family for putting up with my disgusting habit and then standing behind me while I was in the middle of withdrawals and dip rage. I am a better person than I was 100 days ago and each of you have helped me save my life.

I WILL NOT DIP TODAY!

But unfortunately, after a 2 year hiatus, I returned to the can when I was planning my wedding. I didn't tell my wife/fiance either. I became a closet chewer. I tried to quit many times. As the years went by, a failed quit attempt became so demoralizing that I would block quitting out of my mind for months. Skoal Straight Long Cut was now my drug of choice, and I needed it. No substitutes would work, not even a different brand or flavor. I was also formulating what I thought were really complex rationalizations about why I must continue chewing. I looked forward to chewing; it was the highlight of every day. I'd rather chew than spend time with my family. The years went by. I was beginning to need a huge dip after a day at work, and I'd get incredible headaches when I was under stress at work and couldn't chew. Later I would find out that stress causes the nicotine level in your system to fall, and therefore you crave worse than ever under these circumstances. I supposedly only chewed at night, but I was sneaking in "emergency dips" on the way to work, on the way home, at lunch, and when I was driving on business. I was buying a fresh can every few days and throwing out my old can because I wanted the freshest chew possible. I'd slam a few drinks before each night's chew to get more of a buzz. I was starting to lose it. Some nights I would come home from work and think - oh god just let my wife and baby go to bed soon so that I can chew. My stomach was giving me problems. My cholesterol was up. Looking back, I now know what was happening. I'd developed a physical addiction and I needed more nicotine. I'd always been able to control my intake, but the drug was finally just taking over. Years of moderate chewing developed into a full-blown addiction.

Two years ago, we had a daughter and I quit for 7 weeks. However, I returned to the can. Then, one day about 4 months ago, my wife was 7 months pregnant and she had a doctor's appointment. She called me at work asking where her car keys were. The night before, I had accidentally stashed my chew, and her keys, in my jacket. I didn't want her to find the chew, so I lied and told her that the keys were lost. She had no way to drive her car and therefore missed the appointment. She cried. I felt lower than you can imagine. I had acted to protect my secret, putting my chewing habit before her health and the baby's health.

At long last, my successful quitting attempt started when I was on vacation with my family. Getting away from work and home was a good place to start. Then, shortly thereafter, I found this website. Upon joining the Quit Smokeless Community, I started to get genuinely excited about quitting.

On Day 49 of my quit, we had a new baby. The cravings completely left me! And then I had a complete meltdown - crying, on days 51 and 52. From that point onward, each week has been better than the last. In the last month, I stopped eating like crazy, started working out, lost weight, and generally started to feel great physically and mentally.

My top reasons to quit:

Freedom
Peace of mind
Health
Better stomach function
Better self esteem
Less paranoia
Family
It is the right thing to do - search your conscience, you know this to be true!

Thank you Matt and all the Quit Smokeless members for helping me to quit. In particular, thanks to Bates, Jogi, Trying, Jimmo, JC, Steve, many others, and the great article "The Secret of Our Success" written by the Bluesman.

Thank you Matt for establishing this site. I am proud to be among the many winners here in the HOF. I will no longer be a slave to nicotine. It is wonderful to finally be back in control of my life.

I was surfing the net the next day and decided to take a look at the site my friend was so excited about. I was amazed to find so many people who had quit or were quitting dip. I only know two people who have ever quit dip. I know several people who had quit smoking, but I think smoking's a different habit. I began thinking I would quit before the end of the month (June) that way I would have chewed for 8 1/2 years. The next day I stopped into the Cafe and read more and even got brave enough to look through the cancer gallery. All the years I had chewed, I had convinced myself that cancer wasn't going to happen to me. That was all it took. I moved my quit date up to Monday.

That night as I was driving to NE to see my parents and golf in a tournament the next day, I couldn't get this site out of my head and kept thinking, why wait until Monday, it's never going to get any easier. I pulled into a WalMart along the highway and got two cans of SMC, since alot of people on the site had mentioned it in their posts. I had tried other fake stuff and didn't really like it. I told myself, this is it. Stop chewing now. I was amazed at how much better I liked the SMC than any other fake stuff I had found. A quick note on fake dip: if you're thinking it will be just like dip only good for you, you will be disappointed. It was, however, a great tool for me to keep my mind off dip, especially through that first month. Now days I use it maybe once every two or three days.

So the next morning I gave my brother what was left of my Skoal Wintergreen Long Cut and told him to "get rid of it". I also told my family, girlfriend, and friends that I was going to quit. I think this was paramount in my quit attempt. On previous quit attempts, I was afraid of failing and wouldn't tell anyone that I was quitting. As it turns out, I wasn't afraid of failing in my quit attempt, I was afraid of quitting. I wanted to leave myself an out to go back to dip. I also made a vow to get on this site on Monday and quit lurking and start participating.

After going almost two days without chew, I broke down Sunday night when an old dipping buddy of mine stopped over after a hard day of drinking and golfing. I felt bad when I woke up Monday morning, but I also woke up with a renewed spirit that I was going to beat this addiction. As soon as I got into the office on Monday, I got on to QS and introduced myself. I knew from that point, this would not be a quit attempt but rather a quit.

Days 1-5 sucked real bad, 6-19 were tough but not so bad, 20-35 getting better but still some rough spots, and 35 on is just battling lingering depression of losing my best friend from the last 8+ years. I think everyone probably has a "turning point" where they could easily go back to dip but choose not to. Mine came on day 12 when I found an old can of dip in my bat bag. I threw it over the fence when I found it. My first thought when I found that can was "a dip really sounds good - How can you play ball without a dip?" Those thoughts were quickly erased with "how am I going to tell everyone at QS that I caved just because I found an old can of dip?" Once I got passed that I knew there was no turning back.

Anyway, if you've read this far, I am finally going to make my point. I read a lot of "If I can do it, you can do it" in the HOF speeches. While I agree with that to a certain degree, I think "If we all can do it, you can do it too" fits better. Everyone is different when it comes to quitting. Certain things work for some, don't for others. If you are quitting or thinking about it, this site is the best resource for you to find what has worked for some people and try that. I think everything in the book has been tried here.

What worked for me? A variety of things. I went cold turkey with the help of all of the following: Seeds, hard candies, gum, SMC, chewing on straws, toothpicks, drinking green tea, even dipping green tea. Some people use the nic gum or wellbutrin - Whatever keeps you from putting tobacco in your mouth. They all helped keep me occupied while the craves passed. If one of them wasn't fighting a crave, I would switch to another one. The craves always passed. They will for you too if you remember "If we all can do it, you can do it too". Use this site as a resource and experiment to find out what works for you.

And last but not least I must thank I few people who helped me out along the way. First and foremost, Matt, thanks for the site. Without your vision, I would still be dipping. JR in AZ, Steveman, Bates, and others I may have forgotten, thanks for helping and encouraging me through those first few hell weeks. Your emails pulled me through the worst of times. I also would like to thank Professor and LF for their continued encouragement. Also, thanks to Jogi, Steve, Rick and all the other posters. While I may not have emailed you, I have read your posts and gained valuable insight that you can't get from reading from articles on the effects of nicotine. I feel like a free man!

I spent the rest of May depressed about my helplessness in the face of this addiction. The Trail was only one in a long line of failures spanning over 20+ years. I was sick of being victimized by this drug, feeling powerless, and out of control of my life. I didn't like spending all of my energy thinking about my next chew, trying to steal time away from my kids to relax with a dip, eating only with the objective of having a more satisfying post-meal dip, always battling stomach problems, wondering when the tip of my tongue would turn cancerous, etc. At the same time, I feared life without chew. Many times in the past I would find that my life's meaning had become wrapped up in this nicotine injector, and I would tell myself that a life without this one vice was didn't leave much to look forward to.

I saw my doctor for a regular check-up. He mentioned how my cholesterol was unusually high, especially for someone who exercises regularly and has no family history (now I know why). I mentioned how I was struggling a bit with mild depression, and that's when he said "do you smoke?" I said "no, why do you ask?" He said he had a drug for depression that had the added benefit of helping people quit smoking. This I saw as my chance-my LAST chance to kick this addiction that was running my life. I vowed that, with this added tool (Wellbutrin), I would stop this shit for good-there was no going back.

To make a long story short(er), I found this site 2 or 3 weeks into my new life as a non-user. It wasn't until I got onto this site that I truly realized the truth about my addiction and, for the first time, I had people who could understand. I truly don't know if I would have made it without stumbling upon quitsmokeless.org. I was lonely in my new life as a non-user (not to mention the added stress of a recent divorce). I'm sure I would have finally succumbed to my own warped logic. This site has changed my whole outlook on this and, for that, I am truly grateful. I am especially grateful to TJ, LF, Steve, and Rick in Tampa for leading the way for me, and to 12yeardipper, Gopher, and Trying for following in style. I've also enjoyed Flintlock, JeffD, Renovate, Tuba, BigDave, Buckeye, and many more who have made this a fun place to distract me from my addiction.

I've heard it said that recovering from divorce takes half as long as you were married. So, for a 10 year marriage, it takes 5 years to truly recover. I think that a similar rule may apply to my addiction. Although I am truly happy to have made it 100 days, I know that I have a long fight still ahead of me. Indeed, it may take as many as 10 years before I am truly out of the woods. I can never allow myself to forget what that life was like, or to falsely romanticize my days as a user. I am this close to freedom. I don't want to go back.

1. If you can make it past the first 4 days the battle is 75% won. The second day for me was the hardest. I made it past the first day three times and failed on the second all three times.

2. Be prepared for when the cravings hit. They will hit hard. Use a tobacco substitute to get you through the hard times. I used Bacc Off mint flavor which in my opinion is the best tasting and nearest to consistency to the real thing. I tried them all so I know (smokey mountain chew, Bacc Off, hempdip, root100). Bacc Off mint is the best hands down. Usually cravings last about 5-15 minutes use this to make it through these times. I don’t think I could have made it without Bacc Off.

3. Commit to each day rather than saying you are quitting for life. Commit to quit each morning. Post on the forum every day and look at the gallery.

4. Stay away from convenience stores or wherever it is usually by your snuff. I failed three time just because I was at the store buying gas. Don’t tempt yourself. It is amazing the flawed logic you will use just to overcome your defense system. Be prepared for this as well and realize what you are doing when you do it. Make a deal with yourself before you buy that you will use Bacc Off (or whatever) for at least 5 minutes before you buy that can.

5. And most of all if you fail, pick yourself up and quit again.

Reasons I am glad that I quit:

1. Health: The fear of getting cancer is not ever present in my life anymore. My gums don’t bleed when I brush my teeth anymore. My stomach problems went away. I used to get small panic attacks and they are completely gone now (this was something I didn’t even know was related to my tobacco use). My mouth doesn’t hurt all the time and food tastes better.

2. Money: I have saved boat loads of money. I never realized how much money I was flushing down the toilet every day.

3. Image: I feel better about myself in general. I never realized this but I stopped smiling simply because I didn’t want people to see the Copenhagen between my teeth. I smile as much as possible now. I don’t miss people telling me “you got something between your teeth”. I don’t miss being ashamed to show my fingers because I have Copenhagen underneath my fingernails. I don’t miss spitting on myself accidentally or spilling dip cups or having brown stains on my pants because I have been sitting on cope that I dropped while I was driving.

There is a ton more reasons to quit. The impetus for my quit was the impending birth of my son. I can honestly say that without the forum I don’t think I would have made it. I was as bad as it gets, dipping 24/7, swallowing, eating drinking and even sleeping sometimes with a dip in. I got a lot of support from people on the forum I didn’t know telling me that the impossible was possible, especially after I failed. Once I made it after about 60 days I stopped posting and reading because honestly I wanted to stop thinking about Copenhagen every day. This doesn’t mean the “urge” doesn’t return from time to time but every day that I go it becomes that much easier to resist. I know that I am still addicted and will likely always be addicted (17 years of using doesn’t go away in 6 months) and if I falter at all I will be right back at the beginning again. Above all I want you to know that no matter how bad you are it is possible for you to quit. Once you start trying to quit the battle is half won. If you don’t try you will never quit.

So why am I at this point? Well as my display name says, QFK. Quit for Kirkland. He is my 2 year old, and my pride and joy. For all you parents out there you know what I mean when I say I love him like nothing else in the world. Until he was born I didn't know I could love anyone that much. I knew that if I continued to use tobacco that there was a chance it would take me away from my son. I can't let that happen. That is why I'm here. To make sure my son has his father around as long as possible. I have used him many countless times over the last 100 days to keep me from caving and to keep me strong. He has been my most used quit aide. I think of him when I need that little extra strength. Some great things have happened over the last 100 days. 100 bedtime stories without interruption so daddy could spit. A ton of shared sticks of gum. Extra time at the dinner table with dad, because he is not in a hurry to get a dip. A birthday party where daddy wasn't annoyed at how long the cake, ice cream and presents took. They seem trivial, but they are in reality the best things that have occurred since I quit chewing.

Have I beaten my addiction? I sometimes try to tell myself that I have beaten it. But then I bring myself back down to earth. The fact is I'm addicted to nicotine. I've been addicted to it since I was about 13 years old and I will be addicted to it until the day I die. The difference between now and one hundred days ago is now I'm a non-using addict. Nicotine addiction is the same as any other addiction. Once an addict, always an addict. One dip and I would be back to a can a day. Don't get me wrong, it does get easier to fight the addiction, but it is a fight that must continue.

So what's the big deal about getting to 100 days. Well if you make it this far you have been through some serious shit and you feel pretty good about yourself. Let's face it the first three weeks really suck. I was tired, but couldn't sleep. I was angry, but at what I'm not sure. I couldn't concentrate, sit still, shit, etc, etc. I can remember around day 7 or 8 I was talking to my wife. I told her what day I was on and she kiddingly replied “ Do you want a Bozo button”. I told her that not only did I want a Bozo button but I wanted him to come to my house and do a song and dance as he gave it to me because I was going through hell and deserved it. Of course at that time the dip rage was so bad that if he had showed up at the house I would of beat the shit out of him. And then there was the depression around day 30 and 60 and 75. Up until about day 75 I would have times when I felt like I was in the first week fog again. And even at day 100 the dip rage will show up occasionally. But I really do feel better than I have in a long time. My blood pressure and pulse rate is down. I'm sleeping better. And let me tell you the food taste 1000 times better. Plus I don't run out before dessert because I have to have a dip. That has caused me to gain about 15 pounds, but I will worry about that later. I have seen both my doctor and dentist and have been given a clean bill of health. I think everyone who is quitting should go to the dentist. Let's face it if you were anything like me, you didn't go to the dentist much because you didn't want to here the lecture.

There are a ton of people I want to thank. Without the support I have received I'm not sure I would be here. I've tried in the past to quit on my own and haven't had any success. So the difference this time must be the people I have leaned on.

First and foremost, I would like to thank my family. You bore the brunt of the depression, dip rage, confusion and everything else. You were always there for me. Thank you and I love you all. Kirkland, thank you for being the special little boy you are. Without you I would not be here. I love you.

Matt, thank you for putting together and maintaining the best quit aid any of us could have used. Without your vision I don't think I would have made it to this point. I remember finding this site and after about an hour I couldn't believe how I felt. The strength and power I gained from this site and those that post here was amazing.

A special thanks to LF. Your daily support in the first few weeks of my quit where uplifting and strengthened my resolve. Thank you my friend.

To Rick in Tampa and Calgary Mike your posts and personal emails to me where lifesavers. Thank you.

To Jogi and Bluesman, thanks for your wisdom!

Quitat50, Trying, Big Dave, Cstone, Gopher, Rich, Cody, Mallowguy, 4Woogie, tryingAgain thanks for going through this with me guys. You have been there everyday during the last 100 and I thank you for it. You are my brothers and I am proud and honored to be associated with you all.

To everyone else that posts on this board or anyone that I have missed thank you for your support. I couldn't have done it without you.

I'm going to be a Dad in Feb. 2003. I don't have to worry that I might not be around long enough to see my son grow up, go to school, drive, date, and become a well rounded person. I've put the odds on my side now. It feels great to be in charge of my life again.

To all of my October buddies thank you. You have helped me so much. I think you guys would be cool to hang out with and talk about how our lives have changed.

I look forward to 200 days. Everyone keep up the good work.

Thank God for this web site.

Peace

Rich.

today feels better than any birthday. i'm not kidding. this quit was different for a couple reasons and i think these reasons are why the outcome was different and permanent (knock on wood).

1. i admitted that i am addicted to nicotine. i always used to say it was a habit or i wanted to dip or whatever. i know now that i am an addict and an addict cannot play around with his drug of choice. since july 11, 2002, i am a non-using addict.

2. i decided that life was better without nicotine/dipping than with it. i used to consider a dip a vacation from the day's turmoil. that was why I did it. i used to love taking a break from the day's silliness and hang back and get a fat rush of nicotine flowing through my body. (man, i re-read that and it reconfirms point number 1; those are an addict's words.) no mas. no more hiding from social situations. whenever i would go visit family/friends, i would always worry about when i would get a chance to get my fix. truly sad. those days are over.

3. www.quitsmokeless.org - a friend pointed me here; i don't think he knows how much it helped. many aspects of this site are helpful. it gives you: something to do while you're quitting in the early days, a forum to re-affirm your resolve, a support group of genuine people who really care and who are going/have gone/will go through the same experience as you (the whole bond through shared pain thing). i posted A LOT along the way (124 times!) and i read every single post on the board. i probably could have wiggled my way to this point without this site but there is no way on this earth that i would be so commited to the future and so aware of why i want to be free without this forum. thanks, matt.

special thanks to: Professor for leading my way, Trying & Mark for showing me how to fight, and The_Kid for letting me play on the hockey team!

the October 2002 HOF Class knows how to party!

peace out, brothers and sisters! here's to a nicotine-free existence!

First and foremost, thank you Matt for your vision in creating this website and support system. It has truly been invaluable in helping me stay quit. I would love to shake your hand someday.

A little background on myself. I started dipping snuff when I was about 9 years old. I can remember sneaking up the monkey bars at recess in the 3rd grade to take a dip. Why? I guess I saw my older sister's boyfriends dipping and wanted to be like them. It truly blows my mind now to think of how young 9 years old is! And so began my lifelong journey of tobacco use. By 9th grade I had evolved into a genuine can of Copenhagen a day user. Now, here I sit having spent 70% of my life thus far dipping snuff. That changed July 12, 2002.

I've tried many times over the past seven or so years to kick the can. I tried cold turkey, the wean down approach, the patch, the gum, the fake snuff, cigars, on and on. I was never able to make it past a few weeks. Take heart though. You have heard it said many times here...KEEP ON QUITTIN! Sooner or later it will stick.

So what's different this time? First, by God's grace I found this website and have used it daily, I have a true desire to make this my last Quit, I involved my wife deeply in this battle (she is a frequent visitor to the site and it has helped give her insight into the addiction she had never understood before), I told all of my family / friends / co-workers about my quit, and most importantly, I remind myself daily that I literally am one dip away from being a full blown can of Copenhagen / day junkie again.

Why quit dipping? Quit dipping to enjoy your family. Quit dipping to cease being a slave. It is so nice to go for an evening walk with my pregnant wife and 2 year old son, versus making up an excuse to stay behind and dip while they go without me. What a loser I was. The good news is, at this point for me, dipping is becoming more and more of a distant memory. Don't get me wrong, I still occasionally miss having a dip. Who knows, maybe I always will. Thankfully, I can tell you that the associations (hunting, fishing, after a meal, etc.) are fading. Now, I am enjoying reinventing myself as a non-dipper. The previous sentence was something I read in somebody's post that always stuck with me. Sorry I can't recall who said that, but just another testament to gleaning something from this website.

Thank you to all of my friends here at QuitSmokeless. You are truly friends.

Thank you to the October Crew.

God Bless,
Cody

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour - this greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear - is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle victorious." --- Vince Lombardi

So many people who have entered the HOF before me have given such great advice that I will not belabor those points. My one piece of advice is simply this--don't be fooled into thinking that dip makes you a better person, or a more productive worker, or better able to handle problems. It doesn't. The things I loved when I dipped--fishing, football, etc.--are still great. The things that I loathed when I dipped--stress, working late, yardwork--still suck. I think part of the reason I didn't quit sooner was the misguided fear that, without the extra "kick" I thought I was getting from dip, I'd be less productive at work, or not get up so early. That was completely wrong.

Thanks to Matt for putting this site together. It is a fantastic resource that helped in many ways. I got great information from this site on quitting techniques and devices. I took comfort in the fact that I was not alone in this struggle---my friends in Louisiana, Texas, Michigan, Tennessee, etc. were also quitting and fighting alongside me. It is a constant reminder that we're in this together--whether you've quit for a day, a month, or a year--because the truth is that we're all one dip away from resuming the addiction.

But you have to want to quit. And so I really owe the most thanks to my family. My wife and daughter, who can't quite pronounce "addiction" yet, much less spell it, fill me with so much love that I knew I had to quit for them, and that finally made it possible. My wife's patience should get her enshrined. And the possibility that my addiction, and my being too weak to conquer it, might kill me and deprive me of extra years with them, was all the motivation I needed. My in-laws also deserve no small amount of gratitude. They were supportive and patient with me thru some of the hardest, darkest hours, and have taken me on as their own son. And my father-in-law gave me invaluable advice, that helped me quit and will help me stay quit, based on his own experience quitting smoking. With my daughter, wife, and in-laws behind me, as well as this great website, I had no choice but to succeed. For all of that, I thank God.

THE GATEWAY
I bought my first can of Skoal Bandits when I was 16 or so. I probably bought 10 cans altogether over the next couple of months, then dropped the habit (if you could call it that). The story should have ended there, but 3 or 4 years later I found myself in a WaWa on a "study break", saw the display of snuff getting refilled, and, more out of a sense of boredom then anything else, decided to try Bandits again.

This time, the habit stuck, and I continued to chew Bandits for a few months. I really enjoyed the habit and thought it was the best of both worlds - the nicotine buzz with no cancer consequences (I've since discovered that I was living in a fools' paradise). One day, my local store was out of Bandits and I bought a can of Skoal Long Cut. Talk about taking it to a new level! The nicotine rush knocked me off my feet, and I found a new love in life.

From there, I followed the typical junkie path with the harmless Bandits as my "gateway" drug. The day eventually arrived when the store was out of Long Cut and I bought Fine Cut with the same kicked-up nicotine rush. I substituted Copenhagen for Fine Cut one day, and stayed with the Cope for the next 11 years. I tried many other kinds of snuff over that time, but always went back to Cope.

QUIT ATTEMPTS
So, there I was with a habit begun in late '89 or early '90. My first serious attempt to quit was New Year's Eve of 1994. I didn't make it through a day. I tried again in February of 1994 and lasted a few weeks before caving in again. Got a scare in 1995 when my dentist sent me to an oral surgeon, but everything was OK, so I breathed a sigh of relief and continued to chew. I met my wife in '95 and tried to quit again and failed, tried again New Year's 1996 and failed, tried again in the Fall of '96, then again before I got married in Fall of '97, then again before I got out of Grad school in '99, then before my son was born in '00, etc. All failures.

The funny thing was, I didn't see myself as a chewer. When I pictured myself in the future, 5 or 10 years down the line, I never pictured myself as still having the dipping habit. I knew I would quit someday, but someday never seemed to come. I always found an excuse to go back, you will too. If you try hard enough, and this habit will assure that you try hard enough, you'll find a reason to go back to the tin. Work is busy, you have a paper/test/project due for school, you're out on a bachelor party/tailgate/fishing trip. I was 3 weeks quit in 1996 and bought a can because I was stuck in traffic during a hurricane and needed nicotine for the stress. More than once, I quit, got sick within a couple of weeks, and bought a can, figuring I'd keep chewing until my illness passed then quit again. The illness would pass and I never would get around to restarting the next quit.

I was nervous when I approached my 10th year as a can-a-day addict. Then I figured "With 10 years down, my risk isn't going up that much with an 11th year. After all, what's one more year going to hurt?". Then the 11th year went by, then the 12th. I was getting close to 13 years when I got another scare: pain and swelling in my jaw that lasted 4 days before I finally called a doctor and got checked out.

The report was unbelievable: everything was fine. The tissue in my mouth was all healthy, and there were no worrisome signs that suggested cancer. I walked out of the doctor's office with an "all-clear" and immediately loaded another dip. However, I knew the end of the line was approaching. I didn't need any more signals, I needed to quit before it was too late.

I started to cut down, found this site on July 11th, quit, caved, quit again, caved again, quit again, caved again, quit again, caved again, then quit for good on the 15th. It was a rocky road in the beginning, but eventually the days started to pile up and the can began to recede from my life. In the end, it was a simple process:
  1. DO NOT put snuff in your mouth
  2. Repeat
It really is that easy. Were there times I thought I'd die? Yes, but here I am. The days passed, cravings passed, and before I knew it, I was 100 days beyond my quit date.

MY BEST FRIEND
Like most quitters, I LOVED this habit. I enjoyed every chew, the taste, the nicotine rush, the mini "vacation" from my day packing a dip gave me....
  ...or DID I?
When I thought about it, I had to admit that I really only enjoyed one out of every ten dips, if that. Many times I was just feeding the monkey perched on my back. I slipped out to the parking lot at weddings to dip. I headed to the men's room when out with my wife to have a dip. I showered sometimes 3 times a day to pack a dip. How many days did I drive out of my way to buy a can? How many trips did I take where the first thing I verified was packed safely away was my Copenhagen? I enjoyed a dip the most when I was already buzzed from alcohol. I remember fondly my last bachelor Summer when I'd stay in every now and then on a Saturday night with a 12-pack and 2 cans of Copenhagen and watch 2 or 3 movies while relaxing on the couch with a light breeze blowing in the windows. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving my friend after all those memories.

NOSTALGIA
Years ago I read an article in Men's Fitness magazine entitled "Should You Call Your Old Girlfriend". It was geared toward guys in their mid to late 20s contemplating getting back in touch with a girlfriend from their college days. The purpose of the article was to point out the dangers of nostalgia. It offered the opinion that you don't really want to get back together with your ex, you just miss a certain time in your life and your ex is merely a relic from those days. We all miss the days when we were experiencing unfettered freedom in college, or the first couple of years after graduation when we were making our own money and the future was bright with potential. An ex-girlfriend is a great reminder of those days, but we have to remember that the times weren't ALWAYS that great.

This habit works the same way. For 12 years I chewed through every happy moment in my life, to the point that I can't remember happy moments without chew. I remember chewing on road trips, late nights in seedy bars, and tailgates. Dipping was a link to my past, to the old me that had no responsibilities (spouse, kid, mortgage) save to himself. I finally had to wake up to the fact that I was 33 and 11 years removed from the kid I sometimes still thought I was. Don't let nostalgia keep you imprisoned in addiction.

GREEN TEA/FAKE STUFF/QUIT AIDS
I drink green tea every day. I'm convinced it cuts cravings, but it doesn't. Its all mental. Green tea is said to cut your risk of oral cancer. Maybe I believe that, maybe I don't, but if there's a chance in 100 that drinking a couple of cups of green tea a day will offset 13 years of tobacco as far as the risk of oral cancer goes, I'm willing to chance it. Besides, I actually kind of like it.

As to SMC/BACC-OFF/ETC - I don't know. I didn't use it. When I made the decision to quit I also decided to let my gums heal ASAP. Some people used fake snuff, some people didn't. If it helps, go for it.

I didn't go the route of the patch, nicotine gum, or prescription drugs, but again, some people did with great success. If you want to quit straight-up cold turkey, I'm proof it can be done. However, whatever it takes to quit you should be willing to do. Beat this addiction FIRST, then worry about gum, patches, fake dip, etc. As long as there is no snuff in your mouth, you will be on the road to beating the addiction. No one here thinks any less of you if you use quit aids, and there are no special prizes for quitters that went cold turkey. 100 days is 100 days. Just quit.

THIS SITE
I wouldn't have made it without this site. I posted almost every day, more than once a day in the beginning. By day 75 or so, I didn't need it as much, but I still read every post every day. The support is incredible, as much or as little as you need. Stick with your quit group. I didn't like the idea at first (the quit groups) but the enthusiasm of fellow quitters like QuitAt50 and Big Dave was infectious and I was proud to make it to 100 days in their company.

FINAL THANKS
Thanks to Matt for this site, Steve from Tallahassee for responding to my early posts (it really helps to have someone far along acknowledge your posts and offer advice/encouragement), LF for encouragement, JeffD for sharing an incredible amount of similar past experiences and posting every day to and beyond 100 days, Flintlock for building up days, failing, and quitting again the next day ("its not how many times you fall down, its how many times you get back up" - I will continue to hover around this site until you make the Hall), Professor for being ahead in the quit game and blazing a path for the rest of us who found the site in July, to 12yeardipper, QFK, and Cody for starting this journey right around the same time as me, and to the rest of the October class who were lucky enough to be led into the Hall by the best point man out there - The Goph. Thanks to those who quit before me (especially notdeadyet whose posts I got a kick out of reading in the swirl of longwinded and verbose entries in the archives), and posted a record of your struggle - they were a great map to follow. Thanks to those who quit after me, your struggles make me keep my eye on the goal. I look forward to following the trials and tribulations of the November, December, January, and February classes, and Mark, and look forward to welcoming all of you to the world of 100 tobacco-free days.

If I had a job that banned tobacco products, I would sneak it in my pants and use the restroom a lot. I would have the dip on the side of my cheek where it was all but invisible. Unless you were also a dipper, you had no idea I was chewing. I now have 5 daughters. Many times over the course of years, I have dreaded the thought of not being there, of dying of cancer and missing out on their lives. I want to be there for everything... Their first day of school, graduations, prom, dates, weddings...I don't want to miss a thing. Still, it wasn't enough to make me want to quit. I have tried it all over the years, but until 100 days ago, I truly never had any desire to quit.

Having made that decision, I started hunting for quit aids. I actually was surfing the net, on Google, looking for the Kodiak Snuff manufacturers site, so I could send them a nasty-gram, and this is the 3rd site that came up. I came, lurked for a half hour or so, and signed up. I had been quit for 5 days when I found this site. Now, here is the real curious part...I did a very simple search: Kodiak snuff, that's it...again, this was the 3rd site listed. Now, 100 days later, I run the same search and got 13 pages deep and still never saw the site listed again in my search result. Now, I have always believed in a power higher than myself and do not preach, but something guided me here that day. And, this site has strengthened my resolve a thousand fold. Being a part of a group of people, all of whom I have never met, but knowing we are all going through the same struggle...it has been a blessing.

100 days. My daughters are proud. My wife is proud. My family is proud. I am proud. Of myself, of what I have accomplished...of defeating what seemed to me to be insurmountable odds. My daughters will have me around a lot longer now. There seems to be so many people to thank. I wish I could remember everyone, but I know that will never happen...so, if I forget you in my speech, please, do NOT be offended. It's just my age.

First and foremost: My wife, Debbie. You have been my rock. You have always been there with a supportive comment, a special look, a hug. You have put up with my dip rages. No more will you ever have to not kiss me because of the crap in my lip. I Love you now and forever. Thank you for being you.

My daughters, Marisa, Breanna, Kaitlin, McKenna, & Saige: How you ever managed to put up with me, I shall never know. You are my reasons for living. I love you all!

Matt Van Wyk: I doubt there is anything I can say that you haven't heard. So, to you, I say THANK YOU!!

My Fellow Octoberites: QFK, Quitat50, Trying, Cstone, Gopher, Rich, Cody, Mallowguy, 4Woogie, tryingAgain, Big Tex (You are STILL an Octoberite to me)... Rev, Roosterless, BuckeyeMarcus, Mark, northcreek, Lillydale, Big H, ddgrmchgr...not Octoberites, but thanks, just the same... you guys have all been with me from the get-go. Without all of your posts and wisdom, I wouldn't be here. I am proud of you all and I thank you!!

Some Special Thanks: 4woogie: What can I say, my friend. You have always been there to make me laugh or smile... and to always be on guard from that nasty little Skoal Demon. You have lent support when I most needed it, even though you may never know it. It has always made my day that you have taken the time to inquire about my abnormally large family!! 5 daughters are rough, but knowing I have support like you...well, that makes it easier to deal with. Give Smitty a slap on the back from me, would ya?

Yoshi: Yoshi is a fellow that works with me. He has never been to this site, has never dipped or smoked. What he has done is congratulate me almost every day for the last 100 days. He is, out of everyone in my office, only one of a couple people who have ever even asked me what day it is. Every day, he is there with a high five and a hearty congrats. You have also been a huge support, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To all the guys that have led in style and have gone before... NYRanger, Jogi, Professor, JustShawn, LF, CalgaryMike, Cubby, OlyWaMike... I miss seeing you all and look forward to sharing room in the Hall with all of you. Now, move over and make some room!!

The story ---
--All through my 40s I thought about, and *wanted* to quit, but I never did anything about it. So, at age 49 I made a commitment to myself to quit by my 50th birthday. When I mentioned it to my dentist, he said, "So, you want to see age 55?!" I quit 3 days before my fiftieth.

--Two very significant reasons contributed to my success: The first was the realization that there was NO WAY I could quit cold turkey. I knew that I didn't have the guts, fortitude, attitude, conviction, or whatever it takes to do that. So over 4 months, I mixed a weaker and weaker blend of Kodiak and Smokey Mt Chew, to where I had so little tobacco in the can, that going to zero percent mix was a cinch. I remember saying several times during the first month - when so many are struggling with the cravings - that I should have done it sooner (like 15 years sooner!). Seeing so many Members cave has reinforced my choice to work it that way.

--The other key to my success is that I *finally* let go of a self-image that I created at about age 20. I failed to admit how badly I wanted to hold on to a perception of myself as an independent, foot-loose, young, robust, athletic sh*t-kicker who didn't take no crap from nobody. I was the Marlboro Man, Rocky Graziano, James Dean, and Clint Eastwood all rolled into one. Invincible. Unbeatable. Pretty typical for a 20 year old, yah? So I grew up. So I got a clue.

The secret ---
--I realize that the biggest hurdle is not to just BUCK UP and tolerate the cravings, although that's necessary. NOT to just go minute to minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, although that's also essential. The secret is to welcome a NEW YOU into a world you're not familiar with -- the world of non-chewers. The hurdle is that you need to create that NEW YOU, and YOU DON'T KNOW HOW!! For me, I had to say goodbye to a skinny kid with a big buckle and a hat, and a beat up truck, and a fatty in the lip and a care-free lifestyle, and admit that the *adult* that I had become no longer fit with the whole tobacco/cowboy thing. It wasn't that hard, it just needed to be done.

The future ---
--The next 100 days will be spent weaning myself off of Smokey Mt Chew. I' ve chewed it the past 100 days like the poisonous stuff, pretty much. Dentist says it's got too much molasses in it to be any good for your teeth. There are a bunch of great suggestions right here on this site to overcome something as innocuous as SMC. The cool thing about tapering off to zero is that you can concentrate exclusively on being tobacco *free*, and deal with the physical addiction to a fatty later.

--I'll be around to post regular. The October Quit Group is my place until day 365 when there will be a new October QG.

The inspiration ---
--QFK said it better about reinventing yourself; gopher3546 and I are like gray matter brothers; Buddy B welcomed me as a fellow Oregonian and our in-person meeting was such a delight; Thanks to otown dave, Ted and jogi for being elders with guidance and wisdom; CStone for admitting like everybody else, we all have a checkered past; TJ for regular callouts; LF for being out ahead on the trail and giving consistent support; JeffD for the following wisdom: ".you love pizza, but you don't stuff a pepperoni in your lip every 10 minutes because it's a stupid thing to do." Buckeyemarcus and northcreek for humor (sorely needed while on this path!); mallowguy for his effort in helping to keep quit groups together; trying for succeeding; Big Dave for being big-hearted and being BIG enough that you could slice him up and pass him all around for everyone to love; Lilly Dale for classin' the joint up a little; renovate616 for being such a pal to your brethren and especially to newbies; 4woogie for being a true friend to Smitty, and a TRUE ENEMY to the demon!.

--Everybody who answered my email: Catskin, Bookman, Rich, Eric, JamSqueak, goosespirit, Tractorman, Ira Bliss, Gavin, DarkHound, Marty, Ricky. To all: please feel free to contact me any time.

Now, I get to make my speech to all of you, and as a bonus you will get my life story. It is not the best story, and I am not proud of it, but it is necessary to know in order to understand just how evil the demon is.

I started chewing in 1984 when, of all people, my (at the time) girlfriend introduced me to the wonders of Kodiak. She and her friends were goofy high school girls who thought it was pretty funny to sneak around the back of the building and dip for 10 minutes to get the big falling down Bear rush. It was a social thing for them. Never being one to do anything halfway, I worked my way to a complete addiction within a month. And that continued for the next 18 years.

The next five years were very lean years for me, as I was trying to decide what to do with my life. I bounced in and out of jobs, got behind on bills, was forced to sleep in my beater car on several occasions, all because I "didn't have enough money" to pay the debts I was responsible for. Luxuries like rent, utilities, gas, traffic tickets, etc. Somehow, I still found the money to buy my two cans of Kodiak a day throughout this. There were times when I didn't know where my next meal was coming from, but still I always had a dip. It is strange how you prioritize things, but looking back I see what I couldn't see then... that, as my HOF bro 4woogie calls it, the "demon" was in complete control of my life. I could rationalize putting a dollar's worth of gas in my car and running out the next day, but I couldn't give up my friend, the Bear. If I was awake, I was dipping. It makes me sick when I think about it.

Finally, because some very special people believed in me and gave me the breaks I needed, I was able to turn my life around and become a productive member of society. I went back to school, started a career instead of a job, got married (since divorced), had two wonderful sons, and became "a pretty good guy". The one part of my past I was not able to shake, however, was my old friend the Bear. No matter how I tried, he couldn't take the hint that I wanted to move on without him. So, as my life got better, the Bear was there to celebrate with me. In the back of my mind, I was saying "I want to quit" but that thought always seemed to get pushed aside when something would happen to make me say "OK, I will quit NEXT week, or NEXT month, or after this can, or after vacation, or...". You all know that routine. I thought I was making a big stride when I switched from Kodiak to Silver Creek about 8 years ago. I was still dipping, but at least I was saving money, right? That was my big noble gesture for the 90's.

Finally, this year, my wonderful fiancee let me know, very gently, that she really wanted me to quit so she could be assured that we would have a long life together. So my boys would grow up with a healthy father. So she could trust me... for she had heard the "I AM going to quit, soon!" line so many times that she was wondering if she could trust anything I said anymore. I thought about it, knowing she was right (she always is), and on July 22, 2002, right before supper, I dumped my last can down the crapper. Somehow I just knew it was time.

The next few days were pure, unadulterated hell. Somehow I managed to make it to the ninth day, but I could tell that I was close to caving. On a whim, I went to www.google.com and typed "quit snuff" into the search box. The first site that popped up was this one. I spent the next two hours reading the posts! I couldn't believe that there were other people out there going through the same thing I was... it was unbelievable. I would read a post and think "That is me talking! All this time, I thought it was just me, but this is how the demon affects everyone!" I joined QuitSmokeless, and the rest is history. The quit was not any easier... the headaches, the fog, the sleeplessness... but at least I now knew that there were others out there going through the same thing. Being able to ask questions of others who had experienced the same thing was like a gift from heaven. And that, more than anything, is the reason that I am writing this today.

And now I enter my second 100 days, with a lifetime to go. I will be here, doing what I can to help you all, as others before you helped me. This has truly been a life-changing experience for me, and the only way I know to repay everyone that has helped me is to help others. I will personally hold the HOF door for everyone that follows me.

To all my QS compatriots... Goph, 4woogie, Big Dave, QuitAt50, QFK, 12yeardipper, northcreek, buckeyemarcus, roosterless... ok, not enough room to list everyone. You guys are the best! Each and every one of you is the reason I am here now. Since I can't find the words to express my thanks, please accept my simple "thank you!".

To Matt... our guide, our icon, our leader. Again, I can't express my gratitude enough. You are the best. I only hope that someday I am able to make such a difference in someone's life.

And to all of you quitters... congratulations to all of you! Overcoming the demon is a great accomplishment and you should be very proud, whether you are on day 2 or day 200.

Secondly, I would like to thank myself for finally growing up, and realizing that Skoal was bad for me. I would also like to thank myself for pulling my head out of my ass and having the balls to finally quit. Don't get me wrong guys, I quit for me, that way if I failed, I could only blame myself, and have no one else to resent. If it weren't for me (dipping for 25 years, and quittin'), I would not be here in the first place. All I know is that my sarcastic, selfish attitude and this website have worked for me, so far, for 100 days.

It is very hard to sum up how to quit a 25-year, can a day, addiction, and how it has changed me as a person. All I know is that I am no longer a slave to that wicked, fat ass, slimy backed, three-toed Skoal Demon, and his stupid green can with the shiny lid, that convenience store clerks could not locate anyway! I feel better physically and mentally. I do not feel panic if I am without tobacco. Through this experience I have learned a lot about myself, and the power of smokeless tobacco addiction. I will attempt to impart some of that knowledge for anyone who reads this and thinks that it is hopeless to quit.

When I dipped, I knew two things:

1) Tobacco was addictive.
2) One day I would have to quit.

What I did not know was:

1) I was an addict
2) The addiction was always telling me that I could quit after the next can, tomorrow, the next roll, or find a better day to quit, etc.

If you are ready to quit. Stop putting tobacco in your mouth, and do not listen to the addiction, it will lie to you each time. The addiction will use anything, anyone, or any means possible to keep you a slave to tobacco, and UST. The only way to fail is to load up your lip with cancer weed.

One of the most important aspects of making the quit stick, is to reinvent your identity. You need to mentally have the image of yourself as a quitter, and not a dipper. No one ever congratulated me for dipping, but everyone I know has congratulated me for quitting. So when you wake each morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself that "You are a quitter, and that is cool!" To succeed you must have a mental self-image of that! "You are not a dipper, you are a quitter." If that doesn't work, (Say this in the most sarcastic voice you can when looking in a mirror) "Oh, what shall I do today, without my lip packed with cancer weed? Will I become less of a man, or more of one?" Sounds silly but it works. Nothing, no one, or any situation in your life requires you to fill your lip full of cancer dirt. So why do it? Over time you will realize you can think in greater detail and handle any situation more clearly without your lip full of snuff.

All the new quitters are worried about how bad the fake snuff is? Well, I can tell you that it isn't bad as Skoal, Copenhagen, or other UST cancerous concoctions! Fake snuff is designed to help you quit chewing tobacco. Use it for what it is made for and quit fretting the little stuff about it. The alternative is dipping real snuff or nothing at all! Your usage of the fake snuff will subside in time. Every time I use it, I just kinda chuckle because I know I am not getting anything from it.

Fake snuff (my opinion) Bacc-off dips, feels and tastes more like tobacco than any of the fake snuffs out there. Bacc-off extra wintergreen tastes just like Skoal fine cut wintergreen. Oregon Mint Snuff is to hard and sweet, and tears the crap out of my lip. Smokey Mountain (at all Wal-Mart's, in the tobacco section) has energy boosting stuff in it, that I do not care for. The classic flavor tastes more like cope than Bacc-off does, the red clover stems also tear the crap out of my lip. Try them all, and you will find one you like. Green Tea is also great for stopping cravings, dip it, drink it, eat it, but give it a try, it might be the choice for you.

It is a comfort to me to know I can go to any Wal-Mart, and find SMT if I had to. To me, If you really want to quit, there is no reason to cave back tobacco when you can get the fake snuff 24 hours a day in most places.

4woogies' three phases of addiction:

1) The nicotine is what keeps you in a fog for about the first 2 weeks of the quit. Most of the nicotine will leave your system in about two weeks. Then for the next two weeks your body will discover little pockets of fat that have nicotine in them, and cause wild, out of the blue cravings. After 30 days quit you should never have a true nicotine craving. I have always said to do whatever you have to do to make it two weeks. This will give you time to come out from under the brain fog of the nicotine, and start feeling better about quitting, and see the addiction for what it is. The first two weeks are the most critical part of your quit, because this is when the tobacco demon will lie, cheat, and steal and try to use everything, and everyone to keep you addicted and dipping for UST.

2) The oral fixation is always feeling like you need to have something in your lip. This is the part of the addiction where the fake snuff comes into play. To me, this is one of the hardest parts of the addiction to break. I love to chew, I don't miss the nicotine one damn bit, and fake snuff helps me through these times. Fake snuff also will help you through "trigger" times. ("trigger times" = after meals, drinking alcohol, mowing the yard, hunting, fishing, golf, TV, etc) Use of fake snuff will diminish over time. Some days you go to bed at night, and realize you haven't used it at all.

3) Habit - This is where the fake snuff doesn't help. This is the easiest part of the addiction to cure. I sometimes find myself dipping out of habit (usually boredom) just because I have a can of fake snuff in my pocket. Most of the time you can catch yourself doing this before you actually put it in your mouth. The more days under your belt, the easier it is to control this habit.

YOU DO NOT CURE A LONG TIME ADDICTION IN A MATTER OF DAYS, WEEKS, OR MONTHS. I see to many people come to this site, quit, worry about getting addicted to fake snuff, not use it, and failing. I used Skoal for 25 years, and I know that even after 100 days that I will not be cured. I am a smokeless tobacco addict, and will be for the rest of my life. The only difference between today and the day I quit is that I make the choice to dip or not to dip. The can does not lead my life anymore. I know I can never have another dip again for as long as I live, and it's OK with me. Coming to peace with this idea, is what keeps me from going back to the can.

Baby Steps at first - Take your quit one-minute, day, or crave at a time. Set small goals that can be obtained. One of my first goals was to make it 24 hours. I had failed so many times in the past at 24 hours, just to get past it was an accomplishment. My main goal was two weeks. I figure that I owed it to myself to go for two weeks just to see what happened. You know what happened? It worked. If you made it today without cancer dirt in your lip, you can make it tomorrow.

Never let your guard down, because the demon will use any reason, person, or thing to try to convince you that tobacco is the answer to all of your problems. It is not the answer. The battle for today might be won, but the war is just beginning. You do not cure a 10,15,20, or 25+ year addiction in a matter of days, weeks, or months. I do not know about you, but I never want that fu*kin' Skoal demon to lead me around by the lip ever again. I have read more than a few posts of HOF'ers falling victim to the demon again. Most have cowboy'd up and dropped the can once again. Just as soon as you think you have a handle on this quitting stuff, that's when you are at your weakest point. Do become overconfident in your ability to quit, remember you are an addict for life.

Dip Rage - "We all say things we don't mean." It is OK to apologize to people, friends, and family for boughts of dip rage. When quitting, you are reinventing yourself, sometimes just getting to know yourself again, without snuff, is frustrating. Try to focus all that rage into something constructive. I decided to go to the driving range and hit golf balls each day. (I did this for 75 days straight, and my golf game improved, I have cut back to 3 times a week) Mow the lawn twice if you have to. Wash and wax your car each day. Just focus the rage somewhere else, other than people. I have found that Dip Rage diminishes over time as well. I have not had a bought of dip rage for at least a month, before I decide to blow up in front of my family, I will go to the driving range and pound balls.

One of the greatest aids that I have found on this journey was this website. Most of us have quit and failed many times over, because we thought we were alone. Through this website, I found I was not alone. Life is a journey. Some roads we choose to take. Some roads are chosen for us. Some roads seem impossible to pass. Some roads we walk alone. But today I am walking down a road, that I did not think possible. I am glad to be walking with others. A special thanks to Northcreek, Buckeyemarcus, Big Dave, and the entire class of October 2002 HOF inductees, you have made this journey fun, and a reality for me. Now whenever I see a can of snuff, I don't think about dipping it, I think about this website, and the people who I know who have helped me to stay away from it.

Thank you Matt, for creating this forum, and to all those who have been here before me, whose words have inspired, taught, and helped me change my life, for the better.

Matt - Thanks for everything. Your insight and drive to make this site what it is, is not only inspirational but down right heavenly. You put so much time and effort into helping a group of people that faced what you had faced and we are winning the battle. Thanks to you this is a reality. I am not catholic but they say that this pope has appointed more saints than anyone and I think you deserve the credit. Saint Matt, I owe you for what you have helped me accomplish.

100 days ago I started this journey to overcome an addiction. I had no idea how much of a hold it had on me. The beginning just like anything you go through is the hardest part. Once you get accustomed to not having that part of your life there then you can begin to make changes in how you act and react towards life. There has been considerable debate in the last few months on how to quit, what is the best way, damn how crude can Northcreek be in a post, does 4woogie really wear Salami underwear, does Buckeyemarcus have secret training sessions with his dog to learn the Zen like quality of self crotch licking, is that a banana in Northcreek's pocket or is he just happy he quit dipping, and too many others to really bother listing. Many of these questions will never be answered without the help of extensive research and video surveillance. Others though are quite easily answered. The best way to quit chewing is what ever works for you. I did Welbutrin and posted on this site constantly (much to the dismay of some). My sense of humor is twisted and I am a disgusting individual but I like me and so I used my twistedness to make this quit the last quit. This doesn't work for everyone. The most important thing is to find your own way and do your own thing. But the only thing that really matters is that you do quit. The quality of my life has already improved immensely and I would personally like to thank every single person that posted during my first 100 days. If you wrote it, I read it, and appreciated it. I would once again personally like to thank Matt the genius that put up a website that has touched and helped so many people. Matt it must feel good to lay your head down at night and think about porn…I mean think about the fact that you are actually making a noticeable difference in this world. You have changed the lives of so many….I can't say enough about what a wonderful person you are and I owe you more than I could ever repay. You gave me extra time with my wife and my son and my family and friends and the list could go on forever. You have inspired people like LF and Jogi and Bluesman to keep connected to the site and stay involved so that they can help others. I regret to inform you that I to plan to hang around and be a sick perv and help people quit tobacco. Everyone handles the addiction differently and you all will come to a point that the only time you think about a face full of cancer is when you are here at this site. There are many fine individuals that posted a lot and they took time away to make sure they quit. I have had my own battles about this daily and I can honestly tell you that I do not think about dip unless I am reading a post about it. But I will remain coming in here from time to time to make sure that the site is still working and people are still quitting and I am always here for anyone that needs a hand. I quit tobacco for me and my life is better because of it. Hell the supermodels are lining up waiting for dates because I don't dip anymore…Damn I dozed off again…what happened… Well they ain't supermodels and as I like to say they ain't skinny but they sure ain't pretty.

Thank You's
LF, QFK, Mallowguy , Lillydale, Renovate, Jogi, Bluesman, Sender, Mark, Rick in Tampa, Big Dave, Goph, Calgary Mike, Sevenzen, Big H, Going Insane, roosterless, jrad, Tuba, All the Octoberites( still sounds like something the clinic fixes..only kidding guys), the November crew, the December crew, January crew, February crew, all crews pre-octoberite…I think your getting the picture that all of you helped and I really appreciate all the help. This list could go on and on and on 670+ members and all of you have helped in some way..

4woogie - thanks… wish I could write a HOF speech like that… You are damn fine person and I appreciate all that you have done to keep me laughing through the quit pain. When we get the convention thing going we will have to play some golf, drink some beers, and act the fool. Thanks again.

The Mighty Buckeyemarcus - I miss you man…. Can't wait until you get here in a few days… I will be happy to see you post the HOF speech and I really appreciate the comedy…Sick minds think alike…. Great job buddy…

In closing: What goes around comes around, work like you don't need the money, love like you never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, drive it like you stole and if you stole it and your flexin' then sit the eff up. I wish you all the best.

Someone posted this along time ago on the boards and it just is the most fitting quitting quote I have read yet.
"Any fool with fast hands can grab a tiger by the balls, but it takes a hero to keep squeezing" - I don't know who said it and cannot remember who posted it.

Thanks,
Northcreek aka "the golfingest mfer in America"

Anyway my story is that I started dipping when I was about 15 years old just to see what it was all about. Who knew that for the next 16 years I would be a slave to a small tin can. See I can say that now "I was controlled by a small tin can". For years I never believed that. I always thought that I could quit if I wanted to, but I just didn't want to. The truth was that I was terrified to even try quitting. Dip had been part of my daily routine for more than half my life, and I didn't know how to live without it.

I use to think about quitting all the time. Of course like most, there was never a good time to quit, and I blew through a never ending list of "quit deadlines". I tried the "I'll quit for my wife" thing, the "I'll quit for my children" thing, and truth is I never succeeded until I decided to quit for myself. While searching the web for quitting tips one day I ran across quitsmokeless.org. I started reading some of the posts and I couldn't believe how much support there was, and The Secret of Our Success by Bluesman, was what sealed the deal. The first time I read it, it blew me away because he had me pegged. And at that moment I knew that I wasn't alone and that I could do it.

I would like to thank my wife and kids for all your support. I couldn't have done it without your love, patience, support and daily encouragement. Stopping the use of tobacco is one of the hardest things that I have ever done, and I am very proud of myself. I know that I am addicted to nicotine and always will be, but as mentioned by others the difference is that I'm now a non-using addict. Again I would like to thank Matt for what you have created. Thanks to Bluesman for The Secret of Our Success, and showing me that I am not unique. Thanks to everyone that posts on the board, I couldn't have done it without you.

Remember to win the fight one day at a time.

I was able to get this far cold turkey which may not be the best for everyone. It worked for me but I would suggest do whatever it takes to quit the awful habit. Life is so much better without the chew. Thanks again everyone.

First of all, thanks to Matt and my fellow Novemberites, without whose support and encouragement I would not have made it thorough the first 100 days and beyond.

I began chewing when I was 17 years old and have been trying to quit since I was 20. I am now 35 years old, going on 144 days without chew. My previous longest quit had been about 20 days. It is amazing how much life I had overlooked and given up in dedication to the can. In hindsight, I feel stupid and embarrassed - What the hell had I been doing for the past 17 years and half of my life?

As I recounted in a couple of posts, I was on my third quit in the month of July when I found this site. It was a Friday and I knew I couldn't stop myself from buying a can on the way home from work (sad, huh?). I had previously found another site that had an electronic book with some good information. At lunch, I was trying to find that site through a search when this site also appeared. Lo and behold, there were other people going through the same ordeal and after reading, I did not feel alone anymore. Needless to say, I found the encouragement and confidence I needed to make it through that Friday and beyond. I am currently at 144 days and never looking back.

On day 16, my wife found me viewing this site. This was kind of an awkward situation because for the first 16 days, she did not know that I quit chewing. Hell, she thought I quit 3 years ago (of course a failed attempt) when our first child was born. So, I came clean and told her all about my habit and addiction. The first thing she did was hug and kiss me. She then pledged her unending support in my quit. I love my wife very much and she never ceases to amaze me!

The first 30 days were a real challenge, it was a struggle every day to stay focused. The next 30 days were easier, but I remember a strong crave around day 55 or so. The remaining days to 100 seemed to sail by. To date, life is better without chew knowing I'm giving myself a chance to be around to see my grandchildren. Do I miss it? Every once in a great moon, I will reminisce about chewing, but I can honestly say I don't think about chewing much anymore.

About day 80 or so, I got a clean bill of health from the dentist. I also scheduled an appointment for brightening my teeth with the money I had saved to date - kind of an early 100 day present to myself. I had always been self-conscious about the color of my teeth knowing chewing probably did most of the discoloration. I was fitted and wore molds filled with a peroxide formula to bed for two weeks. What a difference!!! My teeth are now a few shades whiter and I am no longer ashamed to smile. I highly recommend this procedure to my fellow former chewers!!!

Bottom-line too anyone who is reading this right now, YOU CAN QUIT THE CAN. If I can do it, so can you. You just have to want it and be willing to fight for it.

From someone who thought they would chew to the grave, I can honestly say that life without addiction to nicotine/being a slave to the can is BETTER than I ever imagined!!!!!

Thanks again and stay strong all

TUBA

Heres a little background on myself I'm 24 and I "had" chewed for 11yrs. Let me say that again had had had ok... It feels great to make it to the hof, it really does, huh I just looked out my window and seen a guy open his door to spit lol... anyway I am a father of one 2yr old and one on the way. That does give you motivation to quit when your child picks up your spitter and brings it to you. Dadda wats dis oh nuthin just trash thankyou. I did the whole hold the baby and baby bottle, spit bottle thing not a lot of fun. I hope I'll like feeding the next one without my bottle in hand better "I'm sure I will". Along with another baby on the way I am going for a career change also, whoever said once you quit you reinvent yourself was right I have so much going on now I have no time to chew, and I sure don't need to increase my risk for cancer my grandfather has prostrate cancer its terminal, my father has prostrate cancer and throat cancer he smoked for thirty some yrs. So I have plenty of reasons to quit. For anyone who is curious about my name ja-le-di is the first two letters of every part of my name.

Ah yes I can't help but mention a day of chewing in my life..

outta bed still rubbing, scratching, etc. put in a chew
take a shower with a chew in
take a shit "sorry" with a chew in you know the ol spitting between the legs thing
brush my teeth then put in a chew like that makes sense lol
after breakfast chew
driving somewhere chew
working chew
playing chew

chew chew chew, just about every thirty minutes I would have a new chew not a big one just a new one. I always new that someday I would have to quit but I just didn't care when. I guess you just have to be so burnt out and bored with it your just ready to give it up. I read an article in a newspaper about a sports editor that quit and he mentioned this site, I was actually quit for like 15 some odd days before I registered to QS. But let me tell you what when I did sign up and started posting and reading that was the best possible therapy I could have gotten in the early days. I had the "stiff" jaw aches tiredness during the day, restless during the night, cranky all the time. I still snap pretty quick sometimes but I try to keep good control over it. Thanx to my wonderful wife who really had no idea what it was going to be like when I quit, (besides her father said oh shit when he found out, he chews) yes I have told him about QS he is just to damn stubborn to quit. My wife is pretty damn understanding when I snap, but guess what its my turn to be understanding now lol...

To all you quitters thank you all of you. I have never met any of you but I can tell you off the top of my head Big dave has 5 girls bless him, 4woogie and northcreek are avid golfers ok so northcreek isn't just avid hes insane, rev just had a baby, mark has had a really tough time quitting but he'll get it you can do it buddy, flintlock has bigger balls about coming back after failing than I think I would that means there huge and you'll be quit for good to, lillydale loves to cook and she's only the second female I know to chew, revkoz is a highschool kid that hasn't been back but he'll quit someday, mallowguy is a talented programmer, big H is hurricane prone but always pulls through, gopher got everyone fired up that one time because nobody was serious but look at us goph we are this man has contributed alot read his posts, damn I know I'm forgetting alot but that's just off the top of my head don't feel left out your all quitters to me ha ha...

matt van wyk you r the man god gave you a mission to help people in the same battle you fought and you are succeeding!

remember read post read post this is your best quit tool

god bless all of you keep quitting and if you need a kick in the ass e-mail me @ jaledi@sctelcom.net

I started dipping in college in 1990, after watching some fraternity brothers. I didn't think about addiction back then, nor was I bothered by the prospect of becoming addicted. It wasn't long before I was hooked. On my first summer home from college, my mother found a dip in the toilet that I'd forgotten to flush. She was furious, but offered her help in my quitting. A few days later I lied that I'd quit. She didn't mention it after a week or so, and soon after I went back to school. And so my lie to my family began.

I quit for 3 months the following summer when I was a camp counselor. I started up almost immediately after the last kids left. And I quit for 3 months about 3 years later. But at the start of my final year of college, I didn't believe that I could study without dip. So I bought a tin, and settled back into my old rituals.

I didn't quit after graduation or marriage like I'd promised myself. Or on so many other occasions.

In early 2001, I found QuitSmokeless.org. I spent a few hours reading it, and found there were other folks like me! I quit the next day. I read a few posts the first night to help out. I lasted maybe a week.

So on August 3, 2002, I realized that I'd been hiding a filthy habit for nearly 12 years. There were several things that made this quit different. On that Saturday, I spent the day in a baby preparation class at the hospital where my wife was due to deliver our first child in 2 months. We came home at lunch and I took a good look in my mouth. I didn't see much in there, but my salivary glands looked like cancer to me. I was terrified. The only thing that kept my mind off cancer that afternoon was the bloody child birth videos! I was about to be a father! I wanted to be around for years to come, and I didn't want my child to watch as I slowly destroyed myself. I had one final dip after class, told my wife I was quitting, and went outside and prayed. I registered with QS and started posting the next day. Many people say that you have to quit for yourself. In a way, I did. But I also did it for my wife and daughter, and they were a big motivating factor in keeping clean.

My advice to new quitters: Quitting is possible. Post and read, read and post. Then read some more. Pray for strength. Build a support network - whether it be coworkers, friends, loved ones, or board members. Drink or dip green tea, or at least a lot of water. Sleep as much as possible and watch your alcohol intake. If you cave, suck it up and start quitting again. If you start to show too much rage or your quit is interfering with relationships, talk to a doctor. If you have a symptom you're concerned about, see a dentist. Brush and floss.

As I write this, I've been free from tobacco for 168 days. I'm a different person. I'm less selfish - when I come home at the end of the day, I want to talk to my wife and play with my daughter, instead of sneaking away to have a dip. I value life and family more. I enjoy dreaming about and planning my future - and I don't have to worry when and where my next dip will be. For years, I thought that dip made everything life good. Surely my friends that didn't dip weren't really "living"! Now that I'm clean. it's clear that it wasn't dip that relaxed me, made for enjoyable trips with my bride, made the days beautiful, made activities pleasurable. It was simply the beauty of life. Instead, it was robbing me of time with loved ones. Now, I'm living again.

Mrs. rev - I'm sorry for wasting away so much of our time before I quit, and thank your patience, understanding, and support. Thank you to everyone at QuitSmokeless - without your help and encouragement, I'd be drooling into a cup at 4:30 a.m. instead of feeding my little girl. And Matt van Wyk - thank you for your vision, my friend.

I was a closet dipper. No one knew about my addiction. To satisfy my craves, I isolated myself from the rest of the world. I would have a dip in the car on the way to work. Sometimes, during lunch I would go out and drive around just so I could dip. Of course there was always the dip on the way home from work. Most of the time, I'd take the long way home so I could enjoy it longer. Then sometimes I'd make up a reason to drive to town after supper for another dip. Then there was always the last dip of the day, which was after my wife went to sleep. Most nights this was after midnight. So I'd have my last dip of the day somewhere between 12:30 and 1:00 in the morning. I'd be so wired from the nicotine, that it would usually be after 2:00 before I'd go to sleep. After just a few hours of sleep, I'd get up feeling like hell, and looking forward to that first dip on the way to work.

I hated what Skoal was doing to me, but I couldn't live without it. Every time I bought a can, it would be my "last one." Then I'd come up with some reason to buy "just one more." Fortunately, my eyes were finally opened. I finally realized that I was an addict and I finally saw what my addiction was costing me.

I realized the cost of my addiction one day when I was contemplating the fact that my oldest son's 13th birthday was approaching. I began to think about how it wouldn't be that many more years before he moved out and was on his own. I was thinking about how I needed to make the best of the time that I had left with him, when I suddenly realized just how often I avoided him so that I could be alone with Skoal. I was stunned. How could I have been so blind?? Right then and there I decided, "No more!!"

I asked myself, "who do I love more, Skoal or my family?" I knew that if I really loved my family more, I would break this filthy addiction. That has been the challenge to myself each day, who would I rather spend my time with?? OK, prove it!!

My son's 13th birthday was a couple of days later on August 10th. I chose that as my quit date, and haven't looked back. I'm not saying it was easy, but after I finally saw what I was doing to myself and to my family for the sake of Skoal, I knew I had no other choice. I knew that I had the power to break the addiction and I chose to do it.

Sometime during the first week of quitting, I ran across this site. I was amazed to find out there were other people like me. People who hated themselves for dipping. People who hid their filthy addiction. It helped me to know that I wasn't alone. In times of weakness this was a great place to come and learn from the successes and failures of others.

So thank you Matt for your vision and effort in putting together this site. You're making a difference in this world. Thanks to all my QS brothers. Thanks for the advice and thanks for the laughs. You made this trip enjoyable.

To those of you who are reading this with a big dip in your lip, and perhaps see yourself in what you read: Yes, you can do this. Yes, you can be free. It won't be easy, but I assure you it is a worthwhile struggle. Life is better without the dip!!

This is already longer than I (and you) wanted it to be, and I'm not good at preaching, but I read something this morning that I feel is so applicable to me as an ex-dipper that I will close with it:

Romans 6:20-22

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.

Thanks for listening brothers.

Dipping snuff was an eighteen year habit that started in high school and encompassed my entire adult life. Why I let a decision made by a 17 year old dominate my life escapes me. I'd never pulled it out and looked at it in the light before.

The seeds of the idea for quitting first started two years ago. Up until then I had no desire to quit. I finally decided enough was enough, a switch being thrown as some have described it. For me cutting back was just lip service (so to speak ;)) , and a complete break was the only way to go. You all know the struggle and commitment it takes. It was rough no doubt, but I licked it. So I thought anyway, because guess what, they still keep fresh cans on the shelf at the corner store.

Six months after being completely nicotine free, a work aquaintance gave me a can of copenhagen. That's all it took, I enjoyed a few dips on a backpacking trip and got sucked right back into a can/day habit.

This April I was diagnosed with diabetes. Big wakeup call. It got my full attention as you might imagine, and I went through the classic denial/anger/rationalization sequence. It came down to this, I now knew how I was going to die in x many years. Whether I did what was possible to make x a big number or not was completely up to me.

In three months I lost 30 pounds, started an excercise program that works, and brought my blood sugar under control. I gave up Mountain Dew, candy bars, pasta, bread, and a slew of things including BEER!, and always at the back of my mind was Copenhagen.

Nicotine has a whole additional set of bad effects for diabetics. Neuropathy and renal failure, nicotene damage and constriction of blood vessels, ulcerations and infections lead to limb loss. Nicotine actually raises blood glucose levels.

Copenhagen had to go. Forever. And I'll have to fight it forever.

My addiction was snuff, chew, snoose, dip -- whatever you want to call it. Most call it tobacco; brand name, Copenhagen. I first picked up the habit late in college. Yeah, I was that old and that educated, but still apparently that stupid. I had a roommate that dipped. We often went drinking together. It wasn't long before we were dipping together. Sometime between then and now, the habit became the addiction. I couldn't say when; probably most of us can't. I'm not even sure I recognized it as an addiction until I tried to quit. It was always a habit. A dirty, disgusting, unpopular habit (at least as far as everyone else was concerned), but a habit nonetheless. In hindsight, of course, I fully recognize the symptoms of addiction. The constant worry about whether I had enough in the can to get me through the night. Knowing that I'd drive to the corner store (of which the closest is about 6 miles from my house) in the middle of the night to make sure I did. Packing an entire roll in my gear on trips into the mountains just to make sure I wouldn't run out midway through the trip. Going from two cans a week to one can a day. Spending the last dollar in my wallet on Cope, and skipping lunch as a result.

Sadly, for most of the 15 or 16 years I chewed, I truly enjoyed it. I of course recognized that it was bad for me. I read the reports. I saw the little 'warnings' on the ads and on the cans. But, like most, I was able to discount their applicability to me. I was different. I wouldn't get cancer. I was healthy. I was young. I was invincible. I was my father's son. Dad smoked for almost 50 years, and outside of a 'little' high blood pressure, had had no real ill effects.

Then came February 2001, and one of those middle of the night phone calls that no one wants. Dad had suffered congestive heart failure and was in intensive care, barely clinging to life. In actuality, while being life-flighted to the regional medical center, he actually died, and they managed to bring him back. He eventually recovered, but during his recovery something even more miraculous happened. He quit smoking. He didn't cut back. He quit. Cold turkey. And he never looked back. Forty-plus years of his addiction to nicotine, and he just up and calls it quits.

We talked a lot about that in the year that followed. The cravings, the rage, the aches and pains. As he will tell you (and I can now back up wholeheartedly) it sucked. But what we have come to call his "episode" made him realize he's not invincible, nor is he immune from the effects of tobacco.

It also made me realize that I wasn't invincible, nor was I immune. And continuing to use tobacco when he had shown so much courage in quitting weighed heavily on my mind. How could I justify to myself continuing to load my lip with Copenhagen when he had overcome his battle? I felt like a total hypocrite, cheering his quitting because it's so much better for him, and then throwing in a dip on the drive home.

Yet for the next year, I still managed to justify my cowardice. If my jaw ached, it was stress. If my gums were receding, it was because I was brushing too hard. It's only a habit. I'm still young, and have time to recover from any ill effects. I enjoy it too much. I'm only hurting myself. I can always quit later.

But despite all of these excuses, whenever I saw my father, the truth of my hypocrisy was brought to bear. Finally, in August of 2002, on a trip back to Tulsa from visiting my folks, I faced up to the truth, and realized that there was no longer an "if" in the otherwise short sentence "I quit." If Dad could do it, I would, too. I walked in the door, logged on, searched for "quitting tobacco" and was promptly directed here. I spent about an hour reading. I read articles. I read Hall of Fame entries. I read posts. I read everything. And within that hour, I was imbued with the confidence I needed to tackle this addiction. A couple days later, I logged on for the first time, and was welcomed with open arms. I became a quitter on September 1, 2002, and I've been one since.

I can't say I've never looked back. I've looked back several times. Hell, I still look back. But the important thing is, with the support I get here, I know that while looking back is acceptable (even unavoidable, really), turning back is never an option. I now am a quitter, and a very proud one at that. I have a future, and it is free from tobacco.

To those members who found this great place before me....thanks for laying the foundation, and providing me the courage to continue. Knowing you had been where I was headed was an inspiration that made all the difference.

To those members who came behind me, particularly those in the December class....thanks for pushing me along and giving me that gentle nudge when it looked like I was slowing down or falling. Knowing you were behind me gave me the incentive to keep moving in the right direction.

To Matt, the man who built this beautiful thing, simple thanks aren't enough. You've made a difference in my life, and that's a beautiful thing. But you've also made a difference in the world, and that, simply put, is priceless.

I didn't even try to rationalize it anymore, 28 years a slave to copenhagen. Two-thirds of my life! I couldn't quit, so what was the point in trying. I even convinced myself I didn't want to quit. I stopped thinking about it. Then a couple of things happened, my friend and neighbor Fish quit (He's in the HOF, but hasn't posted a HOF speech yet). My wife told me that Fish had found some website that had helped him. Yeah, like that would ever work for me.

A few months later, I caught a cold and didn't chew for a few days. That was probably my longest quit in the last 10 years. That wasn't so bad I thought, I actually confused some of the withdraw symptoms for the flu. As soon as I was healthy enough, I finished my can. Then I decided not to buy another, at least not right away. I became a closet quitter (coward), I didn't say anything to anyone, I figured I would cave soon enough. A week later I found this site, I knew right away that this was the site my buddy Fish had found. I read, and read. I decided to register, this was the best thing that I could have done. Now I was accountable, even if only to a few faceless nicotine addicts on a website, I was officially quitting. Shortly there after, I let everyone else know.

Matt thanks for quitsmokeless.com. This is a remarkable site and you are a special person. There is a power in the written word that is hard to explain. How faceless strangers can have such a positive impact on one another is really amazing. Thanks to my December classmates. Thanks to the September, October and November Groups - You guys were posting when I first came on board. Thanks to everyone who posts.

What I learned most from this site:

1. Chewing snuff is an addiction, not a bad habit. Nicotine Addiction is hard to beat. A good support group (QS Community) is key.
2. Copenhagen has lots and lots of bad stuff in it (see BMK for details) and it can kill you.
3. Withdraw can be ugly.
4. As soon as you quit chewing, the UST truck driver will offer you free samples, Copenhagen will go on sale (buy one get one free), you will find an unopened can under your car seat, and everyone at the bar will be chewing your old brand (even the girls). That's why he is the dip demon, he doesn't fight fair.
5. You will get times where incredible craves come from no where.
6. After 50 days, the stuff will taste like crap, if you chew it you will regret it.
7. If you develop bumps, sores, and other crap in your mouth see a doctor. This is not uncommon, most likely it isn't anything, but you will sleep better knowing for sure.
8. Anyone can quit. If you read the HOF speeches a lot of them start out, "If I can quit, anyone can quit." Just don't stop quitting.
9. Read and post frequently, you never know what a positive impact your words have on others.
10. Don't say "There is never a good time to quit." Right now is an excellent time!!! There is never a good time to get oral cancer.

There were some additional observations of negative impact as well. I tried many times to exercise on a regular basis. I have always kept a gym membership, I own a treadmill, etc., but it always ended the same way. I had to choose to use my precious alone time to either exercise or use tobacco. Except during times of extreme effort, I always chose the tobacco. I could not use it at work, and chose not to use it around my family so the options were very limited. Which brings me to another negative effect, less family time. Although I love my family, I often would make excuses to take my own car, work late, or work outside - any excuse to get more time to use tobacco. And no matter how much I tried to hide the tobacco, the family knew and I felt that I was a terrible example for my children. I was doing something bad for my body, and I was too weak to do anything about it. Both of my children and my wife were constantly after me to quit.

My mantra for sometime was that it was easy to quit - I did it all the time. I made many quit attempts. Even though I would convince myself that I had gone 3 or 4 weeks without tobacco, in reality I was rewarding myself on Saturdays for a job well done. Every Saturday night it got harder and harder to throw out the can. Eventually it was Saturday night and Sunday until I was back to full time. The two biggest demons for me were: (1) "you can take one more dip on your terms because you have this beat, besides you deserve it"; and (2) "what could one more dip do to you after all of the millions you have had before, why suffer?, one more wont hurt". You are all familiar with these demons and many more.

And then one day I decided to quit. I really believe this is the secret. Once you decide to quit, it's over. You ignore the demons because your mind is made up. That's it, end of discussion. I decided to quit. All the other times, were quit attempts. I would say, "I'll throw this can away and see how long I can go", or something similar. I never before believed I was quitting. That solid decision led to the next positive step, I found this website. I don't recall exactly what I searched for, but something along the line of "tobacco cessation". I came upon this site and read here for more than 4 hours. I covered everything but the pictures. I was too scared to see those, and I wanted to save them for after the quit, when I would need them the most. I decided then that I would use every crutch I found mentioned and I did. I took zyban for 2 weeks prior to the quit and then for 3 months. I also used nicorette gum and the patch.

As has been said here many times, the benefits of quitting are enormous. The obvious change is the mouth, gums, etc. I no longer have suspicious abrasions or bumps, My skin is much improved, I exercise without reservation, I spend more time with my family, I am more focused at work (because I am not looking for the next opportunity to use tobacco), and I have beat the demon that tried to kill me for 24 years. For some reason (not so obvious from this perspective), quitting was the hardest thing I have ever done. In reality, the first couple of weeks are bad and then things improve rapidly (if you have truly decided to quit). Early on, when the going got tough, I would read posts from this site and sometimes post myself. And, occasionally I perused the pictures here for additional motivation. Since the quit, I have had many tests, many firsts without tobacco in decades. The first business trip, hunting trip, long alone car ride, working outside, stress at home, stress at work, etc. But, I had quit and I did not fail the tests. I have been around the tobacco demons enough to know not to get too confident, to keep my guard up against their limitless trickery. Having said that, I honestly believe I have quit for the last time.

I Thank all of you who post and offer encouragement and I particularly thank Matt for developing and then maintaining this site. It is making all the difference to many people. Keep up the fight!!

I would like to thank: Matt for having this great site/ 4woogie for for making me look forward to checking everyday!, The_Kid,Northcreek,Ddgrmchrgr,Patsfan,Cardsfan,Big Dave,Renovate,and all other December members. Without you guys I could not ever had made it this far....................................Thank You!!!!!

Reading back at my first post is scary, but one thing that held true from that first day of this amazing journey was that I quoted Tom Petty, "well, I won’t back down..." Well, I didn’t. Once I decided to post here and stop just "lurking" reading posts, I knew that I had to be serious this time. After 20 or so years of backing down when things got rough, I stood my ground. There are many who helped me along the way. There are those who made it through and those who caved- it’s not just about those who competed their milestones, but it is all of our BROTHERS IN ARMS. Those who have HAD ENOUGH and who want to quit.

I want to give special recognition to the members of Team Ebola who played hockey with me for 100 days. Jrad #68, BiggyD #4, 12yeardipper #10, Mookiedykstra #25, Northcreek #22, Patsfan #7, Ddgrmchrgr #72, and Ophay #00. On Team Ebola, I wore #30 and tended goal. Special thanks also go to DepMac (security) and Jwm (SLAMBONI driver) for supporting the team and joining in our foolishness. Also to the rest of the December class including D, JohnnyK, Mark and TomP. Donny for keeping me inspired even though he was only there for my first 50 days. Big H for his words of wisdom and big heart. Matt van Wyk for caring enough about us all to make this all possible. Last but not least, I wish to thank Cardsfan for helping me see the light on my darkest days of my quit. All of you... ALL OF YOU... saved my life. May those who did cross the line and stand in the great hall continue to be an inspiration to those who continue the struggle. May those who stumbled, GET UP, and try again. This is freedom, pure and simple.

Why did I do it? I wanted to quit because I love my wife and want to grow old with her. I found myself at 35 obsessed at when I was going to die and what that would be like for her. I love my family and don’t want them to see me suffer from a hideous disease of mouth cancer. I love my life and want to live it to the fullest. I love God and have faith enough to know that he would help me through this, my final quit. Finally, as it turned out, I loved my Brothers in Arms at Quitsmokeless.org and did not want to let them down. This battle was worth fighting. May all who long to, help win the war.

This is actually my second time making it into the HOF. I made it in Jan 2003 as well, then caved. Without this site and my brothers in the Jan 2003 group I'm not sure if I would have had the motivation to quit again when I did, and I'm not sure I would have had the strength to make it in the first time either.

So, I would like to give a HUGE thanks to Matt for providing this wonderful community that fosters the support and caring we all need to conquer this addiction. I would also like to thank all my brothers in the Jan 2003 group for welcoming me back into the brotherhood after I'd fallen off the boards. Thanks Jan 2003. Especially Spongebob, erikasdad, and Breen77 for all your wisdom. And DrNate for hanging tough with me. And all the Jan 2003 brothers who laughed, cried, cussed, and smiled with me. Finally, I would like to thank the entire QS.org community. We truly are an example where the WHOLE is greater than the sum of the parts.

My freshman year in college was a little rough, with the move away from home and the break-up of my girlfriend of 5+ years. This threw me into a tailspin and made me realize that there was still one friend I could count on. By then, I was a little too old to go into the local stop and rob and ask for a can of gold river so I asked for a can of skoal mint and a pack of smokes. Went on a binge one weekend and never looked back. Mainly took up smoking for the next 4+ years until I decided that I was extremely out of shape and wanted to start running again. At that point, I threw away the cigerettes and devoted myself completely to Skoal. I thought I had made great steps in my new stop smoking program, just switch to Skoal!

Always told myself after my first child was born, that I would quit and never look back. Well, my daughter was born back in 1997 and as you can see, that never happened. Then I had a son this past year and thought that I would quit before he was born, but he was born in July and as you can see, my quit date is October 1, 2002. Why October 1, 2002? Good question! I was sitting at my computer one morning and decided that I had just had enough. I got tired of that crap in my mouth all the time and the feeling I would get when I would realize that I didn't have enough to get me through the workday or enough the next morning. Something in my mind told me that enough was enough! Wife didn't believe me because this wasn't the first time I said I was tired of my old friend and wanted to walk away. She knew that I would go crawling back to the old can and would never have the strength to say goodbye forever.

But, here I sit writing my HOF speech 2 days before my 100th day. Still in awe at myself that I actually made it this far. Not only is my wife proud of me but I'm quite proud of myself as well. Matt, all I can say is thank you for this site, thank you for the time you have invested in caring for people you can only relate to by the terrible habbit we all shared, and thank you for giving me a few more years of life to spend with my family. I start my new job on the 13th and you will be getting a donation from me when I get my first check, count on it!!

Don't think I would have made it through my first 2 weeks without the help of the following people: Thanks Ken1899, D, roosterless, jaledi, QFK, Big Al, renovate616, and GP for being there for me during the early days. You guys were the ones that helped me get through the toughest times of them all. Thanks mallowguy, gopher3546, and Big H for being not only a great inspiration to me but too many in the December and January classes.

Special thanks to GoingInsane for keeping me sane, father of three for the countless words of encouragement, and eirkasdad for being the cornerstone of the January group. You were the biggest inspiration of them all. With the countless things in your life that could have caused you to fail and cave, you marched forward and continued the fight and that determination kept me marching right along side of you!!! Last, but not least, thank you Breen77 for the very inspirational stories and tidbits of your life!!!

And most of all, I want to thank my daughter, Erika. You were my motivation when nothing else mattered to me. You are precious and I thank God, everyday, that I have you in my life. Mostly, Erika I did this for you. You are completely innocent in all of this. You had nothing to do with the divorce of your parents, yet you must suffer the consequences. You had absolutely no part in getting your dad hooked on tobacco; therefore, you deserve none of the consequences. I quit mostly because I'm Erika's dad and you deserve to have me around for as long as I can stay. Erika, you are only 7 years old and you will probably never read this HOF speech, but if you do, I want you to know that I quit tobacco because I love you.

Dipping was always my crutch from becoming a better person. Now that crutch is gone and I have the confidence to do anything I put my mind to. I can lose the weight, I can be the better husband, I can be the better father. I used to look at others and feel sympathetic when they would say "I just can't quit smoking, dipping, overeating (insert bad habit here)" I couldn't offer much advice, because I knew I didn't have the guts to quit myself. I no longer have much sympathy because I know that if I can quit so can they.

I would never have thought 100 days ago that I would be where I am now. One thing is for sure: Do whatever it takes to make it through the first week, I would even consider taking off from work. I worked my first week after quitting and did not get one single thing done. Use seeds, SMC, gum, whatever you need to help you get past the physical addiction. Once past the physical addiction, work on getting rid of these aids, because (at least to me) they were mental crutches and made me feel like a dipper still. I know many don't agree with this statement, but I haven't had seeds or SMC in several months and it feels great.

Finally, good luck to everyone who attempts this challenge. Thank you to all on the boards and especially to my January brothers. We all are better people for even attempting this feat. It is not for the faint of heart and more than likely you will fail miserably several times before it finally sticks. But the key is, deep down in your heart, you must want to quit. If you still feel like a dipper, but would like to quit, it wont work. I have been a non-dipper for the past 100 days and I will be for the rest of my life.

Good luck to all!

I will not dip today!!!

And it's sweet sweet sweet victory,
And ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight.
Oh it's sweet sweet sweet victory, and the world is ours to follow.
Sweet sweet sweet victory.

I really like this place and this NEW ME. Being a Slurp-Faced-Drool-Lipped-Shit-Toothed-Bear-Breathed-Stinky-Fingered-Closet-Dip-Head for 26 years was just too stupid to take one more minute. I wanted to quit for so, so long; and I failed so many times. This site empowered me to ride out the withdrawal and to reinvent myself. Thanks for the Knowledge, Validation and Mutual Support in what I was going through.

I humbly bow to Matt in heartfelt thanks for creating this safe harbor. This is the place I could hide, re-group and re-commit whenever (frequently) I felt I was losing my mind and crawling out of my skin.

I want to point out the genius in Matt's style. Matt did not construct this site to preach what he learned from his own quit. Instead, he hangs back, thus forcing each quitter to examine himself, to help himself, to accept the help of others, and to help others. This place breathes and grows of its own accord; all it needs is the active and honest participation of its members. Genius.

Everyone here has benefited from this site. I know it literally saved my life. Everyone has also saved mucho money (not buying dip, not buying spitters, avoiding future medical bills, etc.). Now pass the karma forward boys. Make your donation so that this site can be maintained, improved and promoted to save even more lives.

Tips on how to quit have already been well written by so many others. Ex: read Bluesman's article, "Secrets of Our Success" and his "One Year" post in Roll Call on Nov. 4, 2002 (11:48 am). My personal take on the essential commitment is in my article, "What Price to Save Ourselves." My biggest obstacle was being so fogged out as to be useless. And my fogs always lasted well-beyond that much-hyped 2 week benchmark. In truth, things are still a little misty. That's why I wrote my mantra. It gave me the patience to trust in the QS process:

"There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew.
If I get other things done today, great. But everything else has second priority for now.
Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too. But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.
I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.
This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.
I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth."

Obviously, I do much better now. But I still use the mantra daily because I never get to everything I want to, and I still hear that goddamn demon lie: "take a dip, it'll help you focus and concentrate and catch up." Bullcrap. And even if it would, the cost to my health/life would be unacceptable. So, I still give myself express permission to get behind, so long as I don't put dirt in my mouth.

Thanks for letting me post in absurd numbers and silly lengths. Posting was one of the few weapons I had in fighting for my life. I consciously elected to substitute a QS compulsion for my old Skoal addiction. For me, that was the right strategy. A special thanks to Ddgrmchrgr who (without knowing it) posted the perfect message on my worst day and saved me from the abyss of my third-quarter crisis. Thanks to all of my January brothers, each of whom brought his own gift and dynamic to the group. And thanks to all the old farts who would drop in with something like 239 or 567 days to say hi, and to remind us to keep dreaming of the promised land while we concentrate on our baby steps. In all sincerity, thanks to everyone who posted even once from 10/8/02 to 1/15/03.

-- Bob.

I was an absolute Copenhagen junkie. I didn't pack in half a can with every dip, but I had one in almost every second of the day. I was anything but a closet dipper. I dipped at work, in meetings, at school, at home, outside, inside, and even during sex on more than one occasion. I didn't feel complete unless the shit was in my lip. Copenhagen was everything to me and no situation was free from it. I became addicted to it almost immediately. In fact, I had a failed quit attempt after my very first can. Already, I was learning to rationalize. "I like it and not everyone does it--it set's me apart, so I really don't need to stop." I lasted about a day and then bought my second can. I never looked back. Occasionally, I would try to quit, but I would always go back to the can. Nicotine was wonderful. Life was wonderful. Wonderful, that is, until I tried to quit. Then I would find myself standing before a terrifying chasm-terrified at the prospect of giving up my nicotine fix. I would never be normal again. Life wouldn't be worth living. Nothing would ever be truly satisfying. I'm not sure if everyone feels this way and has to deal with nicotine withdrawal in this same way, but for me it's a lot of depression and a general sense of hopelessness. It can be absolutely fucking scary. The fact that this is so, though, brought me eventually to where I am today. If nicotine can have me so tightly grasped that I wonder at the value of life without it. Then it must be a very bad and powerful thing indeed. Many here call it the demon. I don't really think of it that way, but it's a very fitting description-cunning, powerful, evil, deadly. However, nicotine is just a drug. Addiction is what it is, and we all have to deal with our choices.

I would like to share some of what has enabled me to quit. At first, I looked for an easy way out-a nicotine replacement, some "secret" that would free me, hypnosis (never tried it, but hey, who knows?), basically anything that kept me from having to do it myself. I never found that easy way out. There's not one. You have to face the fact that quitting is terribly difficult. Read around on these pages and you'll find that many people say how difficult it is to quit. These aren't just words. It is a difficult thing to do. In fact, part of this whole thing is about being strong. You have to have the strength to beat this addiction. You can't go at it half-assed or expect a god or anyone else to just pull you through it. Get the support you need, but realize that if you're not prepared to be strong, then you will fail. I think it's important to realize that. It won't be easy and it won't be pleasant. BUT, it can be done and it does get better. At this point in my quit, it's relatively easy to stay quit. Unlike some, I do still crave the stuff occasionally. Truthfully, it's just more of a feeling that something is missing, that hunger that I felt initially. It returns, but I recognize it for what it is and choose not to act on it. It's that simple. In the beginning it was hard to make that choice, now although sometimes not exactly easy, it is the natural thing to do.

One thing that has made a particularly strong difference in my quit is something I call "severing the romance." I've noticed that many (even successful) quitters on this site haven't really done what I'm about to describe. To be truly successful at quitting Copenhagen, I had to make a point to change the focus of my battle. At first, it couldn't be against Copenhagen, this beautiful stuff in the pretty shiny can, with its nice script and vintage date. It couldn't be against the image on my wonderful hardwood dart cabinet. It couldn't be about the stuff I had shared with infantry buddies in the army or enjoyed while walking through the woods. Copenhagen, itself, had a beauty of it's own to me. Many of you feel that way about your particular brand, but it seems especially strong among Copenhagen users. Most of this is of course an illusion and now removed from it by a year, I can see things more clearly. In the beginning, though, the nostalgia (the damn romance of it) was enough to almost kill the quit. So, I had to devise a way to change the way I felt about Copenhagen. This is a stripped down version of that thought process. Nicotine is a highly addictive poison used commercially as an insecticide. You can obtain nicotine through a variety of ways, but I exclusively get mine through the Cope. I've never blown a quit to go out and buy Nicorette gum. There's nothing beautiful or romantic about nicotine gum. It's simply a vehicle for nicotine delivery to the body. Copenhagen is the same thing. Copenhagen is nothing more than a vehicle for nicotine. Nothing more. It's not magic or wonderful or anything else you may think it is. It is a substance that delivers the poison you crave. Nothing more. In the beginning it didn't matter to me. I was still "in love" with Copenhagen. So, I turned my back on it. Dismissed it as "nothing more" than a nicotine delivery system and focused solely on keeping nicotine out of my body. It's difficult for me to explain this clearly, but hopefully you can understand what I'm getting at. It's easy to get nostalgic about your particular brand and circumstances surrounding it, but it's quite difficult to be like that over nicotine. Sever the romance and you're one step closer to living without the can.

I mentioned earlier that part of quitting is about being strong. Something else it's about is being honest. You have to be honest with yourself especially. There are many lies that you tell yourself about your relationship to tobacco/nicotine. There are examples of them scattered throughout these pages. You have to recognize them for what they are and try to eliminate them from your life. I have never been a "closet dipper" and I have very little sympathy for those who have lied to people over the years about their addiction. Yes, I can understand it, but lying is a choice like any other. Being an addict doesn't mean you have to be a liar. That's your choice and personally I think it's a coward's choice. That being said, let me point out that I've been quite lucky. I've had the support of my wife as a dipper and during my quit. So, I've never felt the need to lie. I've never felt the need to hide it from employers either. I never saw the point. I recently dreamed that I caved and started back. In the dream I chose to lie to my wife about it. I'm not a religious man, but all I can say is "there but for the grace of God go I". I could have made the choice to lie, I just never did. In a different situation, I might be no better off than anyone else. Still, I'm proud that I never lied about it to my wife or family or anyone else. That's something I haven't had to deal with. However, I have lied to myself many times. We all surround ourselves with lies to protect ourselves from the truth of our addiction. We're all liars in a sense. Learning to tell the truth brings us closer to being free.

I would like to take a moment to mention how this website has helped me. I mentioned earlier that I've had no relationships with anyone on the boards. This is true. I've also only posted 44 times or so in the past year. So people's "read, post, read, post," post a million times stuff just doesn't mean that much to me. I've seen people fall that have posted hundreds of times. I personally believe there is absolutely no correlation between number of posts and success on this site. Not that it's bad to post a million times, but don't let people convince you that the secret to quitting is "read, post, read, post." It's not that at all. By reading you learn, by posting you learn and possibly help others learn. The learning is the important part-at least to me. I haven't needed the friendship or the support per se; I just needed to quit tobacco and there were things that I needed to know. There's so much here that you can learn. You will realize that you're not alone. That you're not some nicotine addicted freak. You're not the only one to fish cans out of the trash or the bushes. This information is invaluable and it's scattered throughout every page. You will also find things that will help you think of your addiction in entirely new ways. I figured out early in my quit that "all I need to do today is not use tobacco. If nothing else gets done, so what?" Sound familiar? There's a mantra floating around here that expresses that sentiment. Did I write the article? No, but someone did and now someone else won't have to figure it out on their own. That's what this place is about to me. We all learn and learn how to beat this thing. There's not a shortage of information about quitting anymore, because it's here. This site is one of the most wonderful things I have ever discovered. It helps me to stay quit. It reminds me that people can fall down and get back up. I love this place. It's like a book that never ends.

Finally, I do want to express some gratitude. The obvious person to thank is Matt van Wyk. Thank you for making and maintaining this site. I know it's helping people, myself included. I hope it continues to help you as well. Like others have stated, I don't know you but I wish you all the very best in life.

Also, I just want say thanks to EVERYONE who is a member of this "community." I'm glad that there are so many of us. I'm glad that some people have taken it upon themselves to help people as they come in. Thanks for taking the time to write articles that express what is so useful to know. Thank you for your many posts and shared bits of wisdom. Thanks for quitting. Thanks for not making me the only person in the world struggling with this and thanks for the occasional "don't give up" that I've received when I took the time to ask. Your being here makes this place possible. Thank you.

That's about all I've got to say for now. I've waited long enough to post this and it's not really everything I wanted it to be. I just wanted to share some things. I sit here a year removed from tobacco. I've proven to myself and others that I can beat this thing. So can you. Although, I'm not sure exactly what normal is. I know that life is just fine without the can. In fact, life is can be pretty damn good.

M.S.C.
October 10, 2003

Oh,did I say I'm still copin'withoutcope? If I hafta repeat that'til Imake everyone sick..well,would you rather be a little "queasy" with me doing that,or get *REALLY* sick,with that bullSHHH between your cheek & gum,or wherever..KEEP ON KEEPIN'ON!(522 days without ANY tobacco)

The first thing that came to me when I started thinking about this speech was the Saint Crispin's day speech of Shakespeare's Henry V. (Really! I know; I'm nuts or something, but its true!) King Henry V is rallying his troops for the battle. They are outnumbered (by thousands) and a slaughter at the hands of the French army seems imminent. It just seems to fit with what we are doing here, fighting an enemy that seems unconquerable. Here is a portion of it.

This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

I have been fighting a battle these past three plus months. It got 'easy' for a while, but then at about day 90, I had some fog and some serious craves. I can't explain why. I just know that I made it through with the help of my wife and this site. It made me realize that being free of tobacco will never be easy. And knowing that, I have to say, "What feats we did these 100 days!" Many of us would have thought it impossible to be where we are now. The names in Henry's speech I would replace with my January brothers. Your posts helped me immensely. Matt, thank you for continuing to keep this community alive. You are Henry calling us into battle.

I am a different man than the one that began this journey 100 days ago. I simply don't have the words to express my gratitude for that change and all that had a hand in it, so I will borrow William Shakespeare's. "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother." Thanks for shedding some blood with me. I will always remember my brothers and what we accomplished on our Saint Crispin's day.

I didn't stop chewing for my brothers though; I stopped because I love my wife and my children. I want to see my children grow old and I want to grow old with my wife. I want to be there to see all the little, silly things that put together make up a life. Isn't that what it is all about, though? Being there, to share life with the ones you love? It is to me and now I can do that more often and, hopefully, for a few extra years. My wife has been amazingly supportive during the past 3 months. The first three weeks were ugly and I asked her how I was during that period about six weeks after quitting. She said, "Yeah, horrible, but you needed to quit doing that to yourself." She never said a thing during that time how bad I was. Thank you Colleen. You are my very soul and your love continues to amaze me. Sophia, you are my wisdom, thank you for helping me to find the courage I needed through these days. Daniel, you are my wonder, thank you for allowing me to see the world as you do every day. I can promise you this; the "rotten" tobacco user is gone forever. Forever.

Thanks to ALL of you, I am one Luke Skywalkin', Darth E-vadin', Demon beatin', non-chewin' guy! And you know what? The English won the battle that day, like we are here every day.

Not only does the forum carry us through difficult times, it gives us the opportunity to help others, which I believe is part of the healing process, how can you do something to yourself when you are preaching the dangers to others. When I first started coaching, little kids would come and ask, "what's the score? ", we as coaches would always say 0-0, well, some things never change, in our battle against nicotine we must always play as if the score is 0-0, and it's still early in the first quarter. I think it is safe to say that most of us like to be associated with a winner, well January group thank you for helping me be part of a winning team.

This is one of my favorite quotes and I don't even know who said it. "We will not be remembered for what we have but rather for what we have given".

All I have to say to the newcomers is DO NOT EVER STOP QUITTING. Eventually you will win the battle. You have too. The alternative is not an option.

I have been on and off this site many times. I caved, I made excuses, but this time I made it to a hundred days and hopefully 20,000 more to go.

I quit for my 2 year old daughter who used to dig through the trash to find empty bottles or cans for me to spit in. She thought she was being helpful; it made me sick. I quit for my wife who never once asked me to quit, but I knew she wanted me to, who wouldn't? Most importantly, I quit for me. I quit because I did not want to go away early knowing I could have stayed longer. I quit because it costs a lot of money. Do the math. 20 years of money on dip with the interest can equal a college education.. I quit because I no longer wanted to be an addict to a drug that did nothing for me. I quit becuase I did not like it anymore. I quit becuase I had help from Quitsmokeless.Org.

Thank you Matt. What you are doing here is great. Few things in the world changes destinies, but I believe this site does.

I tried to quit 3 times with Quitsmokelss.org, if you look up hawkman in the search feature you will find my first postings in November of 2001. I quit and in just a few days I was back in bed with the tin. I came back in the spring and lost it again. But this time I feel like I made it. I really believe that I will never chew tobacco again.

20 years from now, when I am with my 22 year old daughter and the rest of my family, my daughter will hear that I used to chew tobacco. They will tell her that she would see me put in a dip and run to the trash to find her daddy a spit cup or bottle. She will look at me and say "You used to chew tobacco? I do not remember that Dad," I will probably tear up and say, "Yes, I did chew tobacco. I quit because I did not want you to remember."

Hawkman
January 22, 2003

Almost ten years later, after numerous failed quits, numerous mouth scares, and a realization that this addiction had me by the throat and was not letting go...I got on the internet and literally asked to be scared out of my mind so that I would quit. And I found Quitsmokeless.org. That afternoon a friend of mine at work took my can of Skoal and told me he'd hold on to it...110 days later...he still has that can of Skoal...but I don't need it anymore.

To all of you who grace the world of Quitsmokeless...
Thank you for sticking by my side.
You all have no idea how much you mean to me.
You have helped me to achieve something that a little over 100 days ago, I thought was close to impossible.

So I've crossed over Day 100...and the journey still lays out in front of me...more mountains to climb...except......now I'm a believer. I have been in a stupor for the past ten days just sitting around trying to figure out what "magical" thing happened to me when I crossed into my 100th day...and I would love to come off like some wise sage who can give to you some secret and magical gift of enlightenment that I attained when I crossed into 100 days. But I can't...because it's still out there...in front of me somewhere...and it's also right here inside...it already exists in each one of us.

In our moments of weakness...we tend to find strength. And we also learn about ourselves. In my last 110 days...I've grown to understand something about Freedom...and Enlightenment. In some ways, they are one in the same. Both seem to be what we are all searching for, both seem to be incredibly elusive, and yet we still search because we think that we can hold them in our hands one day if we search hard enough. And the pain will then be gone.
Wrong.

Freedom and Enlightenment have one major thing in common...they cannot be attained.

They can only be sought after.

Like life...you can't hold the secret in your hands...you can only chase after it.

And maybe...that's how you beat this addiction.

You keep searching. Keep chasing. Keep moving. Keep living. Don't think you can stop somewhere, build a house of steel, and lock yourself inside. Because that addiction will come inside with you. You can't hide from something that at one time...was YOU.
If you stop, if you become too comfortable, you lose.

"God comforts the disturbed...
...and disturbs the comfortable"
  -(Unknown)

You've made it to 100 days? Great...now chase after 200. Meanwhile, you need to help someone make it to their first 100. Someone helped you to believe.
Now help someone new...to BELIEVE.

"What is done for another is done for oneself."
  -(Paulus)

Keep chasing.

Remember all those things that you "wanted" to do, but were afraid to try?
If we can overcome this, then we can acheive anything.

Keep living.

I know that it's still here...it will always be here...this addiction. But I can accept that. We've all probably got little rocks and splinters in us somewhere from when we were kids and we tripped or fell and got hurt. They became part of us. So this will too. But our focus has now moved past the pain that it caused. So it's time to move in another direction.

Keep believing.
Help someone else, and help yourself.
Do things you never thought you could do, and continue to show yourself you can.

You keep searching. Keep chasing. Keep moving. Keep living.

...And finally...
...know this to be true...
We ALL leave our mark on this world. We leave our mark on every person we touch...in everything we do. But most of the time...we NEVER get to see any of the results...

...well

HERE I AM.

...the result of the mark that you have all left.

I walked in here with a disease of addiction that was killing me.

And now...I am growing strong, becoming healthy again, I believe in myself more than ever, and I am looking beyond the addiction...to the life I want to live...

...because of all of you...I have been dip free for over 100 days...

To Matt Van Wyk
To my very best friends in the January 2003 Quit Group
And to every single one of you in Quitsmokeless.

...I am the result of your efforts...

...I am your mark.

Thank you...for saving my life.

OK...I couldn't just go without at least attempting to thank as many people as I can...
So here goes...

Thank you to my entire family, who have always loved and supported me, and also always let me know just how stupid I was for putting this junk in my mouth. And specifically...Thank you MOM...for getting involved, for making it special by framing my last tin, and for believing that eventually...I would successfully quit.
Thanks to my many friends who offered their excitement and support, especially - John, you showed me it was possible - Janis, you lent your caring support to a good friend in need - and Alex, for taking that last can of Skoal away from me.
Thank you Meghan, for not letting up, and for letting me know that it gave me bad breath...now that's a motivating factor.

To my January gang...
My friends...My JANUARY BROTHERS...we all made this climb together...tethered to the same rope. You're as much the reason I'm up here as my own desire and will. Thank you Brothers...we made this escape together. You kept me focused on US...and all the while we continued to take small steps towards our goal.
Erikasdad, who picked up a lantern and a pick axe, and helped the January Gang break through into a space where we could open up, and where we could begin to heal. Father of Three...our spiritual leader. Spongebob, who tore back his dark cloak, and revealed the big "S" on his chest, (for Sponge). ForMyKids, always there with a bit of humor, a cold beer, or a Texas Cheerleader for motivation. Rudy and Sbrulet......day in, day out...always there for support. Rotten...our nutty accountant whose avatar said it all. Ollie, my wingman from the very beginning. Hawkman, KJ83, KYbubba, Ira Bliss ...and of course Dr. Nate (who better get back to quitting ASAP!!)

More special thanks to...
4woogie, who sewed a kilt for Northcreek, who ran half naked, and half kilted, through the forest chasing the Dip Demon away with a pocket full of SMC...(I now have that kilt signed, stained, and framed in the Samurai Lounge) I need to go golfing with you two guys.
Trimbledad, Gentle_giant, Rev, Sammy, Bluesman, TBM, Eliasone, BMK, Roy, la Pat, Goodbyecope, JR, JeffD, Bo11, Macabs1, Patbeau, Quit@50, ...--- (Glenn, GoingInsane, Trihope, and Mark...who all helped spread the Bluesbrother word). And to the rest of my Quitsmokeless family...thank you.

Breen77
(The Crazy Samurai)

MY DIP STORY: As a freshman in high school, I was on a competitive club swim team. Every day, the team would take a long run and the older "cool" guys would sneak off and do something secret. One day, the moment I had been dreaming about came: They invited me to "come try this awesome shit that will get me all buzzed and relaxed." Best of all, it was sold at every gas station, so it's not illegal or anything (I interpreted this as "nothing bad can happen to you from using this.") A guy showed me a tin of Kodiak Wintergreen, showed me how to pack it (Aha! That's what the finger snapping was about!), take a pinch, and put the tobacco in the front of my lower lip. I took a whiff and almost puked. But curiosity and the need to be accepted won over physical rejection. I put it in, and felt the intense burn on my lip and gum. A minute later, I couldn't walk straight. I immediately fell in love with that feeling - that escape - and wanted more.

I started taking a dip with "the guys" every few days or so. About a month later, I started buying my own tins. (I vividly remember buying my first tin, and thinking about what I would say if she asked me for ID). About a month after that, I started dipping at home in the bathroom. Later that year, I started dipping at school. I quickly became an expert at hiding dip from my family, teachers, and girls. They would never understand the beauty behind my "disgusting" new habit. The GREAT DIP LIE had begun.

When I went away to college, it became a lot easier to dip. I even got my roommate and three of my closest friends started, so it became the thing to do together while drinking beers and watching TV. The addiction progressed to a can a day, including one first thing in the morning, on the toilet, in the shower, etc. Every activity became a good excuse to dip. I didn't even notice that I never got a buzz anymore - I just dipped because that's who I was, and I couldn't imagine my life being enjoyable without it.

Deep down, I always knew I would quit someday, but it was never a good time - so I would just lie to myself and then make justifications for dipping. I went to Europe, quit for 3 months, and then needed it to study when I got back to school. "I'll just use it when I'm studying." LIAR! I was in a rock band and told myself and my band mates I would quit before our next tour / album / big show. LIAR! I found painful sores in my mouth, panicked, and ran to the clinic... the whole time imagining myself on my deathbed, painfully confessing to my family about the secret addiction that led to my young death. I told myself and the nurse, "I never want to go through this again. I'm quitting now." "I'll quit when I start law school." "I'll quit when I start my internship." I'll quit when I move in with my girlfriend." "I'll quit when I get married." ALL LIES. I just adjusted any new situation to accommodate dipping, no matter what. The lie got so big that ending it began to seem hopeless. The insane things I would do to hide my dip (I hid it from my wife!!)... and the extremely painful experiences I had because of dipping kept adding up, but I still didn't quit. I felt alone and defeated, and my self esteem was shot. I knew that the pain of not getting my dip fix was nothing compared to the pain of hating myself for not having the willpower to quit. I was desperate, but I still didn't quit.

Then I found this website. I read Matt's "About Quit Smokeless" and a glimmer of hope began to grow in my gut. I read the Articles. I read the speeches of the great warriors who came here before me and paved the way to freedom. I was no longer alone. There were people like me who used this place to successfully get rid of the can forever. I signed up, introduced myself in Roll Call, and guys like Ollie, QuitAt50, Northcreek, and Breen77 (sevenzen) gave me exactly the kick in the ass I needed. Within a few hours, my last cans of dip were thrown over the rooftops. No "last farewell dip." No more bullshit. I made two signs: One said in huge letters "I WILL NEVER DIP AGAIN." The other was a chart with columns for the date, days quit, money saved, and a place to write down my daily experiences. I started stacking up hours and days, step by tiny step, victory by tiny victory, on my chart. I went through the hell of my first two weeks along with my February class, and I posted daily about the crazy things I was going through. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't crap. I couldn't concentrate. My efficiency and production at school and work went down to near zero at some points.

But I was not going to put up with it anymore! I was not going to let a little can rule and ruin my life! I had said "never again" and I meant it. I made quitting the most important thing in my life. I began to picture myself as a happy and fulfilled person without dip. I began treating my mouth like holy ground, so that it might someday be a clean, healthy place again. My personal integrity and self image - MY LIFE was at stake!! So I simply kept on not dipping. I went through the day 50 slumps during my final exams, and forced myself to confess to my wife about my dip habit so that the lie would be over. (After the initial shock, she was very cool and supportive.) I went through a battle with alcohol (a battle that I am still fighting). I found a full can of Kodiak Wintergreen in my gym locker around day 35. Irony!?! That was the moment of truth - the moment the demon looked me in the eye, and I had to decide who would be running my life. I smelled it, got that rush in my brain, closed the can, threw it, and walked away. After that, I knew I would win. I got back in shape, my grades skyrocketed, my relationship with my wife became much more open and honest, and I started liking and respecting myself in a way that was impossible while under the influence of the can. I got through it all, and made it here, the crowning moment of a 100-day experience that has revitalized my life, and a day I will remember forever. THE END.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who has ever posted on this site, but especially to my February brothers: bo11, Macabs1, skemen, GoingInsane, PATBEAU, charger1992, jstrong, Afritz, rockboy, and our frequent and welcome guest, Spongebob. The February board was my home, and you guys were there with me, supporting me every step of the way. Thank you. Now get your asses in here!!

Finally, I have never said anything to Mr. Matt van Wyk during my time here, and it is high time I did so. Thank you Matt, for creating this vessel for positive transformation and making it public. Your kindness, vision, and hard work have inspired me every step of the way. If the joy you get from making such a positive difference is even a fraction of the joy I feel from the way my life has changed, you must be one very happy man. You deserve it.

My story is probably similar to a lot folks on here. I started dipping when I was 14 or 15. I would go to the store tell the guy my granddad needed his Redman and then go ride bikes, chew and act "cool" . I even remember crashing and swallowing some spit and then going home and laying in my bed sick as crap thinking "ohhhh I'm not doing that again" but I did. Somewhere around 15 I went to skoal, I would go to the high school football games take a dip and get a buzz, man was that fun. I dipped skoal until I went to college, Tennessee Tech University home of the Golden Eagles. When I got there I switched to Copenhagen because I was now on my own and thought my dipping might get out of control. Copenhagen was nasty, tasted bad,smelt even worse, noway I would dip as much as I used to. WRONG. 20 yrs later after buying that first pack of Redman I had a can a day habit of copenhagen and considered anybody who didn't dip cope a wuss.

I got a sore in my mouth in March 02 and got scared. I got on the internet to look for cancer pics and found this place. I joined, lasted about a week and I cracked , softball started and "I can't play ball without a dip" the more I thought about it the more I realized I can't do anything without a dip and that pissed me off. I mean I couldn't take a shit without finding my dip can. If I was out of dip I would go to the store to get a can and then come home to poop. That's just pitiful. So I set a quit date and I never deleted this website from my Favorites so I would look a little at a time. When my day came I quit and I haven't dipped since.
Without a doubt this one of my greatest accomplishment. Its definitely the proudest I've ever been of myself except for losing my virginity, but that was easy compared to this because that only took 30 secs this took 100 days of pure torture sometimes. I know 100 is a drop in the bucket, but I think I'm done for good because I don't ever want to have to go through this again.

To the rookies I just want to say you can do it if you just use some discipline and knuckle up. READ, make this your home page and READ some more.

To the FAB FEBS. Roy, Charger1992, jstrong, afritz, patbeau, thanks for being there. Going Insane , I 'm glad you cracked and had to become a FEB. You are a true leader and you know a lot of bad women.
Rockboy if you read this get in there a change your life. this is the most rewarding thing I've ever done for me and you can do it.
Love all ya'll THANKS
BO11

My story is not unlike many other stories that have been told on this website. Boy takes dip, boy enjoys dip, boy continues to dip and never stops. I won't, can't waste anytime here dwelling on the past; missed opportunities to quit, decisions made based on my need to feed my addiction. I refuse to point any fingers. The future is now--started the day Matt threw that lifejacket out to me. Thank you sir. The vision that led to the creation of this website has quite possibly extended my life. You are allowing us to change the ending of these stories.

This speech is one of maybe 5 speeches I had written for this special day. I wanted this at first to be about my life with Copenhagen. I quickly discarded that draft. My next stab at an HOF speech was entitled "An Unopened Letter to My Wife". I decided to keep that one to myself. Maybe someday it will no longer be unopened. My true desire the past three drafts was/is to impart some sort of legacy here in these records. Some piece of advice I can impart on those just starting out. If this speech has an effect on one person, makes one person decide to continue on with their quit...it would be a great joy knowing that I was able to help someone in need of help. When I look back on those first crucial days of my quit and my time at the QS what stands out in my memory is the fact that there was so many others in the same situation as me. I was not alone. The place was full of closet copenhagen dippers like myself. I dove right into it all. I pored over HOF speeches, daily cafe chats, articles, and monthly group chatter. After I was done I reread them all again. I looked up sometime during my reading and I was at 50 days, halfway to the HOF, and pretty much done with this terrible habit. Don't get me wrong; packs and packs of gum (Orbit), bags pumpkinseeds and boxes toothpicks were put to use along the way. What I'm trying to say to anyone out there lurking, reading and wanting to quit, this site could be the difference between a successful quit and an unsuccessful quit. It was the difference for me.

In closing, I would like to thank the February quit group for all their support during this battle with the demon. Roy, Charger1992, bo11, going insane, jstrong, afritz, patbeau, and rockboy thank you so very much! Special thanks go out to an old time HOFer, Bluesman, recent HOFers, breen77and spongebob, and future HOFer, Gentle_Giant. Your eloquent prose has been truly inspirational throughout my journey. I am forever indebted. Thanks to everyone. Spread the word about this place and DON'T DIP EVER AGAIN. I'm on my way to Disneyland now... without my can.

It is awesome not having it around. I owe it all to God, I prayed to Jesus that he would take the habit and he did. Anytime I would have a bad craving I would say a little prayer and it would go away.

Thanks to QuitSmokeless.org!!!!

Maintain Vigilance

I have a story. Everyone here has a story. The stories are all different and yet they are surprisingly similar. Here at QS our stories are told. We tell them, one craving, one fog, one rant, one joke and one day, at a time. We tell our stories before a vast audience in roll call and we quietly talk with our families in our quit groups. The stories are full of drama. The full range of emotions are selflessly displayed daily on these hallowed pages. The overwhelming joy of someone reaching a personal milestone is kept in check by the sorrow and disappointment of another falling victim to the demon. Yet as each story unfolds itself here at QS, countless other stories are touched and affected by the telling of that story. Therein lies the beauty of QS. We stand together, intertwined. The likeness of our stories proves to us that we are not alone and binds us all together in our struggle for freedom. Although we each tell our own story, together we all tell one story. It is a beautiful story, a story of determination and triumph: a story that not only teaches us that the demon can be beaten; but proves to us that he is beaten every day. One only has to log on to QS a single time to see the proof. Ah, but once you do that, once you open that book and begin to read; to comprehend, QS becomes more addicting than all the UST in existence. With this new addiction, however, comes fellowship, knowledge, and power. Yes, the power. The power to embrace total freedom from UST: The very essence of that power is that which brings us all together and binds us here.

My Story...

Frustrated, disappointed, angry, depressed, and yet again, unsuccessful. I had failed for what seemed my thousandth attempt to quit.

In the past I had committed all the sins of the chewer. Lying to loved ones, hiding the addiction, sneaking around to chew. I was best at lying to myself. My wife had heard me say that this would be my last chew so many times that she no longer even hoped for it to be true. A faint Yea, Whatever!!, is all that I would hear. It took me a long time to finally wise up to the truth. I am an addict. I did not truly understand what that meant, but I would learn soon enough.
I tried to quit chewing the first time and found that I would rather give up air then my Copenhagen. I had myself really believing that I loved everything about chewing. I grew angry with this assessment and tried to focus the anger into yet another quit. But the wind would go out of my sails after a day or two. One time I grew so angry that I quit for 7 months. Then I thought I would have just one chew one day and was back to square one. I kept trying to quit and failing again and again for 5 more years. But my story changed on September 15th 2002.
I was at it again. Two whole days on the wagon and losing my mind. I was screwing around on the computer trying to do anything that would get my mind off the desire. Now, I am not a real religious man. I believe but do not practice. But when I absent-mindedly went to Google and typed, "God, please help me quit chewing", the first link that came up was QuitSmokeless.org. I clicked on it and what I saw changed my life. I had only read a little of it when an urge made me move somewhere, anywhere. I had my hideaway from everything; my wood shop, my haven. I scrambled to get there before insanity overcame me. I began to work on various projects but everything that I touched, I destroyed. Hundreds of dollars of oak reduced to scrap. Anger like that which I have never felt overcame me. I threw my router, (my precious router, my 2.5 hp Porter Cable 1/4" Plunging router) across my shed. Threw it. while it was running. My beautiful 10 year old daughter came running out to see what all the noise was and if I was alright, and I started yelling at her. Screaming, like a maniac. It was all that I could do to tell her to get into the house and away from me. After about 30 minutes of stomping around my yard and kicking things, I started to calm down. I began to realize what I had just done. The guilt of how I had just traumatized my daughter rained down upon me. I went into the house and she backed slightly away from me. She asked if I was better. I said that I was. I was about to apologize when she told me that she would rather have me yell at her then chew Copenhagen. I almost cried right there. From the mouth of babes. I went back into the house and started reading posts on the new site. Before I knew what I was doing I had logged on and was typing messages to strangers who seemed to know exactly how I was feeling. It was eerie. It was strange. It was exactly what I needed, and right when I needed it most. I had found the fellowship, knowledge, and power necessary to take back control of my life. It became simple, not easy, but simple. Every day that I did not put Copenhagen in my mouth was a victory. (Someone posted that philosophy here and it has become my motto or creed. Simple, not easy, but simple)
As time progressed, I found that I was getting support everywhere. People at work were congratulating me, my wife and daughter were both as supportive as they could be. And my hero's here on the QS.ORG, well they were larger than life.

Proud, Learned, Happy, Aware, joyful, Thankful and Successful. 100 Days Quit. Enduring a little pain and suffering is just part of the road that leads to freedom

I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT....

MY WIFE, Christine. She is the greatest part of my life and through her I gain strength.

MY DAUGHTER, whose wisdom and understanding surpasses her scant 10 years

The courage of Every single person who has ever contributed to this site.

Those individuals from whom I dared to gather hope. Bigdave, quitat50, 4woogie, mallowguy, northcreek, jaled, rev, ddgrmchrgr (I still can't figure that means) Ericasdad, Spongebob, and Breen 77. For me these have been the elite of the elite. I gained long term knowledge and drive to make it to the HOF and thereafter. To these fine men... My most sincere thanks.

The Fabulous February Hall of Fame Class: Roy, BO11, Macabs1,Zxert, Going Insane (GI), darrin2risk, Jstrong, Afritz and Skeman.. You all have kept me honest. I learned strength and perseverance from you all. I also learned that believe it or not.. all craves will pass, the fog is not so blinding, and raging can be controlled.

Matt van Wyk- Your site has helped so many people like me. Thank you for providing us with this powerful tool that allows us to fight, learn and grow.

Thank you all . if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything ; as I always say ..

"ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING"

Patrick J Beaudion

Someone once said that the process of quitting is not easy, but it is simple - just don't ever put another dip into your mouth. Not EASY, but SIMPLE. Best of all, NOT impossible!

I began this journey with great trepidation. In new situations I am typically reserved, quiet, and somewhat shy. I remember when I typed my first message, once I finished I had to quickly hit the post button before I talked myself out of it. What I got in return was a friendly welcome and so much more.

First I give thanks to the Lord. God has been so good to me. His word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105. The Lord is my strength and my song. Isaiah 12:2.

My journey began with the article by Rick in Tampa. That one article gave me back something that I had been praying about for over a year - forgiveness and understanding - the results from that article is something that I could never put a price tag on. I have always loved my Husband beyond measure. Rick's article was the key that unlocked an intimate part of myself that had been in bondage for too long. I'm so thankful that not another moment of loving, sharing, and true happiness has to be lost. I love you SparkyShorts. I have hope that one day you too will join me here in the HOF.

Matt thank you for this wonderful forum and all that you have put into it. It's truly amazing what is being done here.

SpongeBob, Breen, Quitat50, Ericasdad, GoingInsane, NorthCreek, 4Woogie, MallowGuy, La Pat, David Kodiak, and too many others to name...you guys have been a great inspiration. Your posts have been filled with laughs, wisdom, and encouragement. Thank You.

Now to the group closest to my heart during my quit, my March brothers. I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. She has just learned that by clicking her heals together, her wish to return home will be granted. She then turns to her dearest friends who have helped her along her journey and bids them a tearful good-bye. By sharing your laughs, joys, sorrows, and encouragement you have helped me remain faithful to my commitment to quit. Where my other attempts have failed, being held accountable in our group and having been given the sense that it really mattered whether I succeeded or failed - having somewhere to look beyond myself - through this, you have shown me success. I don't think it was just by chance that I happened! to join such a fine group. You are proof that it doesn't take a large group or a lot of posts to achieve this goal - just a dedicated few to cheer you on or to lift you up when you need it most. You have all written a page in my memory and have become a part of my quit story, a story that I began 100 days ago. It's a story that I will continue to write for all the days to come. A story that now has a wonderful chance at a happy ending. Eliasone, Tdawg, Scotty, Sammy, McRae, Swing, Edog21, Caghs, BozInFla, BMK, Josh and Joe - My March Brothers....Thank You, with love, your sister, GentleGiant.

For those of you reading here....those who have marked these pages in the HOF before me and those yet to come, I am reminded of a song by Clay Walker, Titled: Chain of Love...

She said how much do I owe you? Here's what he had to say: You don't owe me a thing, I've been there to and someone once helped me out, just the way I'm helping you, if you really want to pay me back, here's what you do...Don't let the chain of love end with you.

Well, well.... here I sit at almost 100 days nicotine free and I know I'm finally done with the little bastard.
I never thought in a million years I could ever break free from the nicotine demon, but I did.
The little bastard still calls me up and harasses me from time to time, but I can ignore him easier than ever now.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd ever benefit from a support group either! Was I ever wrong...because here I am!

Thanks Matt for such a great place.

So here's my story...

I've been addicted to nicotine for about 31 years. (Changed again after writing this!)
I first started chewing tobacco when I was a little kid. My dad would give me some leaf style tobacco when we would go fishing. I don't even remember what kind it was. I was only about 6 or 7 years old. He would say to me "It's ok to do when you go fishing" Little did he know I really liked the BUZZ and I wanted it more and more.
I grew up near the water and I went fishing all the time. Little did dad know that I was swiping his chew every time I went fishing. Fish and chew ...chew and fish.... it's all I did as a kid, unless the waves were good, then I'd chew and surf and chew and fish... you get the pic.
Hasn't changed much either, except for the chew part.
When I finally got caught taking my dad's stash of chew I was old enough to go to the 7-11 and get the cashier to sell me my own pouches of tobacco. I'd tell her I thought it was disgusting and the old man was making me come down and buy it for him. Worked every time and I think I was the only surfer that chewed at the time.
I can't remember when I made the switch, but somewhere in that time frame along came Happy Daze. Even tho it made me puke the first few times I did it, I kept on doing it. It was cleaner than the big wad of chew and the buzz was much more intense.

Well...by the time the summer of sixth grade was around, I had already made the jump to SKOAL. The girls loved the way it smelled and I could even get a few of them to try it. I found myself buying a can almost every 3 or 4 days day by then. I would even skip lunch just so I could use the lunch money to buy a can. I think a can was about 45 cents then. I could get milk for 10cents and use the rest for a can of SKOAL.
I started playing baseball and at that time spit-tobacco was thought to be a safe alternative, so no one thought much about us using it. I kept on using and using, more and more.

The summer going into the 8th grade I was almost a can a day user. I wasn't getting the fix I needed from SKOAL anymore, so sometime during the summer I had made the switch to Copenhagen and was in full dependency of nicotine.

Here's a message for the folks at UST.... Your marketing technique worked like a charm on me... I went from the weak, sweet-tasting Happy Daze to the hard stuff in less than 3 years...Just like I was suppose to do. It worked on every kid I dipped with. I know they will most likely never read this, but there's always a chance they will.

I can remember reading somewhere in here about someone saving the empty cans. I use to save them myself. I was proud of my collection of empty SKOAL cans I had saved. I don't even remember how many I had. I was then even happier when my Copenhagen can collection quickly passed my collection of SKOAL cans.
Anyone remember this happening?

Sorry, went off for a bit....Back to the speech....

I'd go fishing on the way to school and on the way home. The whole time with a big fat lipper in. I'd even have a spare can stashed on my bike just in case the teacher found my can on me during the day. I'd always have a spare. Never wanted to be without my little buddy!

Fast forward a little.........

The longest I previously went without nicotine was about 15 days when I was in boot camp back in 86. Wish I had quit then.
When I resumed dipping I also started smoking too. I just couldn't get enough nicotine to satisfy the need just from a dip anymore.
I would go off and on smoking the cigs saying the whole time "man, I gotta quit this shit!"
I would quit smoking only to boost my dipping up over two cans a day, so I started smoking again and knocked my dipping back down to a can and a half a day. This went on for years.

So...at that time not only do I feel and smell like shit from smoking, but my teeth and middle finger are brown from dip and the whole time saying to myself and friends "man, I gotta quit this shit!"
WOW! Writing this sure makes me realize just how bad I was hooked!!!
The first part of this story took around 25 years to develop!

Now lets fast-forward the scene again to sometime after 1995.

By this time I had quit smoking as much, but I've learned you don't have to pack your lip slam full of cope to get a fix. I would put in what we use to call a "Walt Garrison dip" I could keep a dip in all day long and just change it out all the time.

Dad had quit smoking and dipping long ago by this time and was hounding me to quit for years, along with my mom.

When my mom's sister died from lung cancer (yes, smoking) it kinda scared me into quitting smoking for good. Thinking great! Now I won't get lung cancer.
Finally done with smoking, I thought about quitting the dip.
I thought about it all the time.
Every time I took another dip I wished I could quit.
This went on for a few years this way.
I had tried to quit a few time before, but by the end of the day each time I caved and had a lip fest at night.

Ok all you old timers out there remember this one??? ............Ready?
I can remember saying, "I can't believe it. This stuff is almost a buck a can now. I swear.... If it hits a dollar a can I'm gonna quit! Well... I said the same thing before it hit a buck, then two, then three then four then five....shit...if I had all the money I spent on snuff, cigs, cigars and chewing tobacco I'd burn all I've got now and be able to retire!

Man, this HOF speech is getting long.......

Anyhoo..... To make a short story longer, I think you can see just how addicted I was to the little bastard.

Fast forward to 2002 so I can end this speech quick!

I was told I needed to quit for 28 days so I could get new cheaper life insurance.
I thought... Damm! I gotta quit for 28 days????
I was scared to death about going that long without my old buddy, but I told myself I could do it.
I figured the money I saved in the insurance and a 28-day break I could have a hog-wild lip fest with myself as soon as the 28 days were over.

So there it was.... The last week of the year 2002.... I had never made a new years resolution in my life, but I was about to. I said to myself I was going to quit for 28 days in the month of January 2003. Told myself that if I could quit for that long it would be no problem to quit when I really wanted to quit.
I had all intentions of going back to the can after I got the all clear from the insurance folks, but..............
About the 3rd day into the quit I was surfing thru the Internet and came across this site. I didn't plan on joining, but after reading a ton of post I realized I hadn't thought about Copenhagen for about 30 to 45 seconds. I thought, "Hey, that was pretty cool. I didn't crave there for a little bit." So I kept on reading and reading and reading.
I read that if you post how you felt it would help even more. LOW and BEHOLD it did!!!!!!!
I was thinking then, "Hey, this 28 day thing is going to be easy!" I'm gonna have the biggest dip party with the fish when this is over".

Then, I think it was around day 20 to 25 when the fog started to lift, I started feeling weird..
I had posted and read and I was actually feeling better. I even felt some self-esteem and was proud of myself for making it this far. I felt so good and I wasn't even thinking of how good my lip and gums felt.

When I hit 28 days I realized I hadn't even set up the appointment up to get my blood work done for the insurance company yet.
The fog was too thick.
My 28 day quit just had a few more days added because of the doctor's appointment.
I thought.....Damm.... O'well... since I made it this far...another few days won't matter..........so I thought.

I had read a few times in here after 30 days the nicotine is all out of your system, except for a few small pockets left if the fat cells, so I figured lets see how it goes after 35.

When I hit 35 days quit I felt so good about the quit I said to myself once again. "Hey self.... look at you! You've gone the longest you've ever been without nicotine in about 31 years. You always said if you made it 30 days you could quit forever, so quit for good... NOW!"
I joined the gym with the money I saved and I'm getting into the best shape I've been in, in years and I feel great!

I know I still have a full lifetime to figure out what it's like to live without nicotine. What I mean by that is... I used nicotine for about 11,315 days and until I can match that with as many days away from nicotine I know I'll always be an addict.

I really didn't want to let anyone know who I was because I really didn't think I'd be able to keep up with the quit.
I believe I've quit for good and I hope I can help someone else quit.

I don't blame my dad for starting me on it because at that time it wasn't thought of as dangerous. Everyone always said, "at least he's not smoking" or " at least he'll never get worms"

I say now... " at least I wont die from lip or lung cancer from tobacco!"

Good luck with your quit everyone!

Now I want to introduce myself.
My name is Capt. Blair Wiggins. I'm the host of a fishing show that airs on the Outdoor Life Network (OLN) starting this month. Our first airdate is April 4th and a repeat on the 6th at 11:30 am. for the next 26 weeks.
We've been airing here in FL. for the past 3 years on Florida's Sunshine network.
Some of the shows you'll see this year I've got a lipper in because they were shot last year. So sorry if I throw a crave your way. Hell, it'll probably throw me into a crave. lol BUT IT"S BETTER THAN A CAVE!
I just wanted to say something that has been said here more than once.
"IF I CAN QUIT THAN SO CAN YOU"

Every waking moment I use to have a dip in my lip.
I really don't know of anyone who dipped more than me and that's the truth.
I've read that some here have fallen asleep with a dip, but to put one in so it'll last till morning????? That was sick and I use to do it!

UST you no longer have your hooks in me! Kiss my ass!
Good luck everyone and don't ever give up the fight!

Capt. Blair Wiggins

It is possible to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. There are always choices to make. Every day, every hour, every minute, offering the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical addict.

You can, decide what will become of you. A wise man once said, "There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings." I look upon my 100 days and view my sufferings as a genuine inner achievement.

The way in which a man accepts his decision to quit and the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even under the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to his life.

There is meaning to suffering.

Adapted from "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

I started dipping when I was about 16 years old. got into it because of playing ball. Then I went into the Marines Corps and it seems like being a Marine Grunt and dipping are like peanut butter and Jelly. I actual quit before, but did it by taking up smoking. Then quit that by dipping again, and so a vicious circle started. Then it got to where I would do both! Talk about killing myself! Then about 2 years ago I quit the smokes and went back to cope full time. Just to let those doubters know how powerful that little Demon Bitch can be, and this is with the smokes, but I want to tell it anyhow. I just got done smoking before going to bed one night, was thinking about quitting, had only one smoke left in my pack, I was praying to god...."Lord, I need to quit, I can't do it on my own, I need your help, please help me! give me a sign or something" Something to that effect. Then I told myself, man just save that one smoke for the morning, and was getting into a fight with myself about throwing out a smoke or keeping it until morning. So I start to pray again, "Lord help....." I am literally lying in my bed crying because this has taken such a control over my life, and next thing I know, my little girl comes into my room, she had been asleep for hours, she crawls in bed with me and my wife, hugs me, says I Love you Daddy, and gets out and goes back to her room. Well, I got up and threw out that last smoke, Thanks for the sign God! Now I know this is site is all about the Dip Demon, but you see, he's in many forms, and is strong, he's even stronger than his cousin the Heroin demon! I got what I took as a sign from God to get the Demon out of my life, but instead, I threw out a cigarette, and woke up the next morning and went to the store and got right back on the Copenhagen!

So, fast forward to Jan 1, 2003 I'm quitting dip! yeah that lasted one day! Hence my quit date of Jan 2, 2003. Someone actually told me about this wonderful site while I was posting to another one looking for advice on quitting, and well the rest is history. The first weekend was hell, and damn did it feel good! You say what! It felt good? You damn right it felt good, it felt good to have all that pain, because I went with an attitude of Pain is Weakness leaving the Body! And it truly is! This helped me tremendously. I even to this day have that attitude. I would even talk to the Demon (don't let that get out, I don't want to be put in a rubber room!) Egg him on, tell him to bring it on. I actually still do that at times to test myself cause you see I will not forget that first weekend as it was indeed hell. I drove to about 10 different Wal-Marts in about 3 different towns in search of some fake chew, with you know who riding Shot-Gun, that's right the Demon! Just trying his damndest to get me to stop and get him some Cope! I wasn't going to do it! Never found any Fake Chew. I was so close to breaking, so close to the cave and it was only like 2-3 days into my quit. No way not this time! I was done with the Demon beatin' my A$$, this time it was going to change! I ended up buying some Green Tea, and some Seeds, and locking myself in my room, watching football, posting, sleeping. My family was so helpful in that they stayed away from me. Hell my wife and oldest son changed a power steering pump on one of our cars! I needed to do it but told my wife it would have to wait, you see working on a car was just another association with the Demon! So into my room like a kid being punished I went. I actually wish I could have taped it all. Some times it was so funny, I would come out of the room and everyone would scatter! One time I was just walking around the house screaming at the top of my lungs, or screaming into a pillow. My little 5 year old girl thought it was hilarious. Well as you all know I made it through that first weekend, and 100 + more days and the rest of my life to go. I feel so good now. I workout now, 4-5 days a week, I am healthy, and more importantly I accomplished something that people fail every day, that I failed many, many times before. I don't worry now about caving. I really don't. There is no way I would start up again, and it's mostly because I don't want to go through that first weekend again!

So for all you old salty, ex-dippers out there that helped me along the way, I say thanks! I owe you my life! To Matt, I say..."You Da' MAN!", to my Family, thank you for all the Support, and to the good Lord up above I say thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for picking me up when I fell.

Now for all you newbie's, get some seed's, some fake Chew, some green tea, and most importantly, Get a NASTY A$$ ATTITUDE about it! Lock yourself in a room. Look at it like a game. That's what the Demon looks at it like, and he has been kicking your A$$ for a long time! Well it's crunch time, and this is where the boy's get separated from the Men! Enjoy the pain! Say "yeah, that feels good Mrs. Demon, is that all you got you over-bearing piece of Shi*, is that all you can bring to this game?" There's no doubt it is hard. But not only will you benefit from having better health, you will grow as an individual. I use to think Marine Corps bootcamp was tough, I use to think being a Marine Grunt was tough. beating the Demon made all those look like summer camp! Once you get passed the physical portion of beating the Demon (the first 5-10 days, for me anyhow) then it's all the Mental game! And that Gentleman is fun! Pain is weakness leaving the Body! It's mind over Matter, and if you don't mind it damn sure don't matter! Thou Shall Not Dip! Stay strong, you are in the right place. Now apply yourself and Just Do It! Good Luck!

I started working on my HOF speech on about Day Two. I was concentrating on the quit and looking ahead to see if I could "feel" how it would be to be looking back after my induction into the HOF. It was a great alternative to staking myself out in the woods until the first couple of days had passed.

The first few days were VERY intense and I felt oh so alive to feel myself picking up the reins to resume control of my life. Went to the gym and saw a woman wearing a shirt that said "PAIN IS THE BODY LETTING GO OF WEAKNESS", took it as a "sign".

I apologize in advance for being unable to quote properly from the many posts that have inspired, challenged and lifted me up. I have opted to draw from the best and finest that inspired me rather than submit my own blatherings. Where an excerpt wouldn't do justice to the poster I have quoted more liberally.

With that caveat and all thanks for the abundance of good heart that has come together around the catalyst that Matt has provided I'll give you my best shot.

Here are the sentiments that I have collected and have meant the most to me. Take one to heart each day and think on it.

1. Life is too short to ruin relationships over a can of dip.

2. Is anything more important to me today than saving my life?

3. Pain is weakness leaving the body.

4. I got myself into this habit and I will get myself out!

5. What's important gets down to a real simple act: "Don't take that shit out of a can and shove it in my face."

6. What kind of behavior do I want to role model for my child?

7. I had been afraid to quit dipping - or was it afraid to fail at quitting again?

8. Quitting is easier than the alternatives - lying, spending, signing up for a painful, disfiguring, and premature death.

9. Always remember, when you get a craving it is going to go away whether you dip or not so DONT! Keep on quitting!!! (Nick's HOF speech)

10. Get used to the idea that you're going to be on an emotional roller coaster quite intensely for the first few weeks. You're going to be up/down/cheery/blue, you'll think your girlfriend doesn't love you anymore, life sucks/life is grand and EVERYTHING is subject to change at any time, for no reason and without notice. I had to recognize that this state of mind was NOT REPRESENTATIVE of how I felt overall and that how I was interpreting things was NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF REALITY. I decided not to make any big decisions until I felt like I was thinking clearly again.

11. You have stopped loading your system with a powerful mind-altering substance - nicotine. If you think about it you will realize that for years just about any emotionally charged event had you reaching for a dip. Put another way, we have all self-medicated our way through a huge number of events, usually during the period of our lives when we begin to take on our adult personhood, and now we have to learn to sit with and deal with our feelings instead of loading up with nicotine. Part of "reinventing ourselves as non-dippers" is the not entirely pleasant process of catching up on our growing up.

12. Copenhagen does *not* satisfy. If it did, you wouldn't want more. (Chrishead's HOF speech)

13. I began taking notes to assist me in "locking in" my quit. As the days passed I noticed that my perspective was evolving pretty quickly and I got interested in that as well.

The reality hadn't changed. I was doing the same thing on day 1 as on day 100, not packing my face with toxic worm dirt. The reality was the same, my perspective was changing significantly each week so I decided to reduce my thoughts to the 100 that I thought best tracked my own journey through my 100 days en route to the HOF

14. My doctor tells me that each can of high-test dip has enough freely available nicotine to kill a cat. For me that's about 13,140 dead cats.

15. As far as your quit is concerned, "attitude is everything". Look in the mirror and declare "I have killed that part of me that was trying to kill me by dipping. That part of me is gone forever."

16. My thoughts determine my attitudes.
My attitudes determine my perceptions.
My perceptions determine WHAT IS REAL for me.

If this is true, then HOW I TALK TO MYSELF is critical.
How many "reframings" in thought can I think of?
It's not: "I'm trying to quit", HELL NO, it's "I have quit!", etc..

17. Talk out loud to yourself. Making yourself speak out loud, especially committing to yourself looking in the mirror . Speaking aloud will guarantee that your thoughts are better organized and will engage more of your brain that just silently mulling things. Speak and let you hear yourself say, "I quit nicotine forever." Let the speaking and hearing parts of your brain get into the act.

18. Associate massive pain with failure and massive pleasure with the success of your quit. Congratulate yourself every morning for logging another successful day.

19. Talk to yourself about your quit in simple, declarative terms.

Don't say: "I'm working on trying to see if I can quit."
Do say: "I quit", "I can do this thing" and "I am saving my life". Simple.
Powerful.

Go to the gym. What a great idea! Take the stress and heavy-duty nervous energy of de-toxing and go to the gym with it. I found myself thinking what a great metaphor the whole process of going to the gym and doing the physical training was. Each day, go in, assess or reaffirm what I'd like to change and work at eliminating the inessentials - fat, dip, or whatever.

20. If I cave now then the pain of my quit will have been in vain.

21. I can now take advantage of being able to become someone I was formerly unable to be. "You talk about starting a new life as a totally reinvented person, and that you've grown into someone who could beat this addiction. I feel the same way as you - it's like we become someone we were formerly unable to be!" (Thanks to Quitatfifty)

22. "WE HAVE ENTERED THE PROMISED LAND NOW WE MUST REMEMBER JUST AS LOT'S WIFE FOUND WE CAN NOT LOOK BACK, LEST WE ARE TURNED INTO A CAN OF SNUFF". (A Classic from LA Pat)

23. What happens is... one day, desperation opens your eyes and you can suddenly see your life and behavior without the filter of lies. You see how, when viewed objectively, your actions are plainly stupid and self-destructive. You say:

"I will not put up with this anymore. I deserve better than what I am getting out of life right now. I only get this one chance to live, and I'm not living well. Whatever it takes, I MUST change." (From Roy, one day after making HOF)

24. It is what you do when you are truly tested that matters. It will determine how you feel about yourself forever. If you have the fortitude to quit the can for good, then there is not one challenge you cannot overcome. You will know this as a fact in your mind - that's how quitting has benefited me the most. All I can say is to take it hour by hour- don't think to far ahead. Soon those hours will start to accumulate into months and then you can ride the momentum all the way home. (From Bryce who wrote this on his day 535)

25. When the ascent of Mount Dipfree seems to be impossible, hammer in your pitons and cling fast and take into your heart Spongebob's mantra.

"There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew. If I get other things done today, great. But everything else has second priority for now.

Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too. But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.

I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.

This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.

I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth."

27. Justshawn: "My favorite story of this journey came when my 7 year-old son went on a trip to Disney World with my mother. He was shopping for souvenirs and ask my mom to take him to the grocery store to buy my gift. Of course mom couldn't understand why, so she asked and he said "Daddy's friends on the computer said that sunflower seeds might help him quit tobacco". Here he was on an awesome vacation and was thinking about his dad's tobacco addiction and how much he wanted him to stop. That's when I knew there would be no turning back! As someone on the site said, we'll do anything not to disappoint our children". This one made me cry.

28. 100 days is the blink of an eye. 10 days is even less. The trick now is to make those ten days stay fresh in my mind. If i can remember the anguish of that time, I will keep my will strong. The farther you get from a dip the closer you get to a dip. (Mike261's HOF Speech)

29. It was pretty bad as I approached my quit date though I didn't know at the time that it would be a quit that would stick or just last until the next trigger. I was growing rapidly more and more frantic to quit, more and more depressed to find myself repeatedly failing. I probably bought 100 cans in the month before I quit and threw away half of them. Something weird was going on with my stomach too and I was starting to puke if I waited even a second too long to unload my lip.

Whether you call it dip, chew, snuff, lipper, wedge, rub, pinch, or worm dirt - it was my worst vice. After using tobacco for over 10 years, I was completely addicted. I would manipulate dates, meetings, relationships and lives, just to get my fix. Because I knew it was a disgusting habit, I hid it from most people in my life. I always had to have an excuse to run errands when we had company or hide in my office to get my fix. The worst feeling in the world, is the anxiety I felt when I knew I would be trapped and unable to dip. Then my life changed. My wife and I had our first child in September. I can remember the first few nights just watching her sleep. But the memory that changed my life was when our baby was screaming at the top of her lungs while we were both asleep in bed. I jumped out of bed and went running straight for my can of Copenhagen. My wife followed me out of the bedroom thinking I was going to help the baby, when she realized what I was doing. I had to have a dip before I could take care of this precious, needy, and wanting child. She did not say anything to me, just walked past me to the baby's room. It was at that moment I realized my priorities are out of line. I vowed to get control of my life again. (Darren's HOF Speech)

30. "With the help of this site and my own determination, I have been able to regain control of my life. Because of the support of men I will never meet, there is a 0% chance I will dip today. That has been my mantra through this entire journey. There is a 0% chance I will dip today. Yesterday is gone and out of my control. Tomorrow is not yet here and may never arrive. I can only control my actions and reactions for today. Today, I choose not to use tobacco". Darren's HOF Speech)

31. Short of hurting someone or yourself, or committing a serious crime, there is nothing you can do to yourself today that would be worse than taking a dip. Like Ice Cream? Go ahead, eat a half gallon - still better for you than having a small pinch of cope. Like booze - get plastered CAUTION - YOUR JUDGEMENT WILL NOT BE WHAT IT SHOULD IF YOU GET LIT - THEREFORE TRASH THAT IDEA. You don't want to wake up with a hangover and an ugly can of dip laying next to you. The point is we all know that we are incapable of having a small dip, a celebration dip, a sorrowful times dip, a nostalgic dip, just one dip, just one more dip, as well as whatever bullshit name the demon wants to put on the dip that is tempting us - it will lead right back to full time dipping. It's like playing russian roulette with bullets in all but one cylinder - not real bright. Hey, someone quote me on that one, I think it was pretty good. (From Scotty of the April 2003 Quit Group)

32. Short and Sweet: "Stay Strong; Get control of YOUR life back!!" (Trimbledad from the April Quit Group)

33. Imagine what your words will be like for the occasion of your 100 days. "Finally, I would like to thank my wife and son, who will probably never read this. You have endured 100 days of hell because I chose, many years ago, to experiment with a stupid can filled addictive, cancer-causing, life-shortening plant matter. I wish I could give you those 100 days back and all of the days that preceded them, when I was often more concerned about getting my fix than focusing on you. You two are my everything. I will spend the rest of my days paying you back". (From Bates HOF Speech)

34. Bluesman on One Year......... from that....... "Tobacco addiction is a mortgage on your future and your family's future! Be intellectually honest ... if you found out that you had cancer today, what would you do to NOT have cancer, to NOT have that death sentence. What would it be worth to you to NOT have your son looking into your sick, unrecognizable, chemo-bloated face as you took your last breath? You would do anything."

35. My own musings.......In 24 years I never bought a roll of dip. I couldn't bring myself to accept that I'd do that many cans so always paid the convenience store premium price. Yep, big conflict started early on.

36. UNDERSTAND what is going on for you in your withdrawal. While "the demon" is handy shorthand for a concept I didn't want to set myself up to lay blame somewhere else if I caved. "The Demon" sounded too much like "the Devil Made Me Do It" for my comfort. Understand that you are resetting your own neuropharmacology.

37. AND THIS, is where QS really shines. I don't HAVE TO go through all manner of conversational permutations with my sweetie to have her empathize with me, to understand what the first couple of days were like, what the cumulative effect on my self-esteem was like. I was just able to oh-so-perfectly and deftly remark........"It was interesting......" and leave it with that.

38. I will not dip today...

39. I had a pain that made me want to dip. I had the pain because I dipped.

40. Mark said it wonderfully well in his HOF speech, "What happened was that I realized that I would forever be miserable and forever be unhappy if I didn't quit tobacco. I would forever be miserable and forever be unhappy if I didn't give it my all, once and for all."

41. We all have power. We have power over ourselves that we can cultivate and use to positive ends.

Sometimes our lives offer us circumstances that allow us the challenge and opportunity to use and cultivate reserves of energy and resourcefulness that we don't know we have. Think of quitting as an opportunity, not a "problem".

This is one of those opportunities and I am grateful for it.

42. This is what I know.

What I think determines my attitude. My attitude determines my perceptions. My perceptions determine my reality, what IS REAL is my life.

43. I like the feeling of withdrawal. I don't like the term.

"Withdrawing" has the connotation of "disengaging" or "retreating".

I wish we had our own term for quitting dipping that was properly charged with some manner of resonate intensity that those still out there in the dipping community would recognize. Some term that we knew meant "ENGAGING" and "RISING TO THE OCCASION".

44. When a big crave comes rolling in IT IS UP TO ME TO MAKE THE FIRST CRITICAL CHOICE and that is HOW I CHOOSE TO EXPERIENCE AND INTERPRET the feeling. It is "to dip or not to dip".

I can say, "Damn, I sho' does need to pack my mouf wif a big, fat, juicy looks like a dung hand grenade went off in my mouth super premium three fingered fatty Gagzilla"

......... or,

I can say to myself, "This is an interesting feeling, so this is how it feels to shake free. I got myself into this and I can get myself out."

45. That person who dipped, who crammed OVER A TON OF TOXIC SHIT INTO MY MOUTH, IS GONE.

46. This was not a "process".

This is not a New Age period of personal evolution. This is stripping off a old skin and dealing with the needed delicacy as my new skin takes form and utility.

THIS WAS A F****NG EVENT. I'm not "GOING THROUGH IT" I am through it because I will never dip again.

47. You know what else I like about quitting?

I've had some hot summers here when I'd come in after a day in the weather and put a washrag to my face and it would COME UP BROWN, not with dirt but with dip juice coming out of my pores !!!!!!!

48. I gave my lower brain stem something simple and binary that it can understand as my higher brain inhibitory functions come on line, I just try to tell it, "the person who dipped doesn't live here anymore."

49. Intellectually honest or not, the "this is a process" approach hasn't worked for me before, since "any stage of quitting" isn't the same as quitting 100%.

I'm just gonna jump to this rock of quitting and hang on 'til my new skin gains sufficient utility for a full range of real world conditions. What's important gets down to a real simple act: "Don't take that shit out of a can with my fingers and shove it in my face".

50. Dip turned me into a machine. I had a real job, life and relationships that are hugely important with my girlfriend and son BUT WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON is that this part of me THE VISIBLE PART, was only a front for the chemically dependent robot..... ME, a person who had been reduced to the repetitively programmed behavior of stepping out to get a can, send money to the merchants of death, pack my face, repeat over THOUSANDS of cycles. My life wasn't really mine any more and it was driving me nuts. I decided that quitting would drive me less nuts.

51. Point/Counterpoints

Point = P Counterpoint = CP

P. This is one of the hardest things you'll ever do.
CP. Glad to know it. Quitting hasn't killed me yet and if this is one of the very hardest things I'll be real glad to have it behind me and to have the learning from besting the Demon.

P. Your brain will be in a fog..
CP. How about in a freaking blender? Seems about right though, I spent about 25 years packing my face with very heavy duty psychoactive crap that some profiteering legal drug pusher had specifically modified by ammoniating it to make the nicotine a free-base MORE addicting.

P. "Associate success with pleasure and failure with pain."
CP. No problem.... here are a few of the most key associations.

Pain

1. Thinking that my son would have to watch me turn from "Dad" into a corpse in a matter of a couple of weeks which is what I just went through with my Mom in September.

2. Having to live with the fact that I was going to have to keep on lying by my silence to my girlfriend (like all the others for the last 1/4 century).

3. Showing my son, by example, that I lacked the ability to control my life or to set a good example for him.

Pleasure

1. Having MY LIFE BACK! So, the Pain list is a lot longer.

52. The biggest pain. Asking myself how much more I could have done with my life had I not had the continual and ongoing experience that I was unable to do just one simple thing - not packing my face with Skoal. Failing at quitting over and over, feeling that my life was fundamentally out of control was just too painful to accept on a "going forward" basis.

53. Miscellaney and grins: Guilt is GONE. Now all I have to deal with is whether or not to tell my girlfriend, who I've known for two decades, that my habit predated getting to know her. I don't think she ever knew. She's not the type who would have ever put up with it for a moment.

54. Not spitting on my noble manhood when hiding out dipping in the john.

55. Not losing half of a three finger dip while trying to put it in driving down the road and having it blow in my eyes and everywhere else.

56. Actually beginning my day without first thinking of packing my face.

57. Being able to return a smile to the person in the car next to me without it looking like a lowflying tanker just dumped a tankful of turdage in my mouth....

58. I quit because the PAIN of NOT QUITTING was going to be greater than the Pain of Quitting. I just couldn't live any longer with my mounting experience of being someone who had tried over and over and over to quit but couldn't about something so simple - "Don't dip today".

I registered and felt silly about myself. Shouldn't I be able to just quit without joining some web community? But soon I realized that my need for help far outweighed any hang-ups I had about bearing my most personal feelings to complete strangers. I can't tell you how many times I checked this site in my first few weeks, but I may have read every HOF speech in that time. It was so bad that I tried to space out my reading so I wouldn't get through all the articles and HOF speeches too fast. Read and post is my best advice. Even when you think no one's listening, remember everyone out there is reading your posts and I guarantee you're helping someone even if you don't know it.

Fear was my biggest obstacle in the quit. How could I drink or work and not chew? Will I ever be able to drive 3+ hours without wads of cope? Is it possible to fish, hunt, shower, shave...(insert never-ending list) without a chew? The answer to all of the above is obviously yes but less than a year ago the mere thought of it would have sent me running for the can. I've everything stated above repeatedly in the past 100 days and this is what I've learned. It's never as bad as you think it's going to be. The addict sets himself up to fail by making everything out to be impossible. My first time drinking was harder on the ride to the bar then once I was actually drinking. Once I was there, I just didn't focus on it. The first hunting and fishing trips seemed unbearable while I was rigging up at the car, but once I got involved in the activity, it wasn't nearly as bad as anticipated. I'm not saying it's easy, because it isn't. Quitting chew may be one of the hardest tasks of yo! ur life. I'm just saying we make it out to be so impossible that we dare not even try. So have confidence in yourself and don't let fear control your actions.

I used a lot of other member's ideas and words to get me through this process. They gave me sayings, mantra's, and support that helped me more times than I can count. I've listed a few of these thoughts below and hopefully someone reading can use them as I have. Thanks everyone for all your posts. You're words were my motivation and you were my accountability. Thanks in particular to the April group and all the contributors to its pages. Thanks especially to Matt for making this site possible. As I've said, it was the MOST important factor in my success.

• Bluesman's "Secret of our success" was a huge influence in my decision to quit. I read it for the first time and quit later that day. It's available in the articles section.
• Spongebob's Mantra was instrumental in my survival of the first few weeks. This is also available in the articles section.
• "Pain is the body letting go of weakness" --JR. This helped me through the worst craves.
• "I guess that we all have to choose between two pains: the pain of not getting your dip right now, or the pain of hating yourself for not having the willpower to quit... and risking a horrible death."--Roy.
• Rationalize = Rationing + lies.
• "Get busy living or get busy dying."--Shawshenk Redemption.

Over the past 12 years, Ive tried to quit numerous times, unsuccesfully. I always put it off. "After this tin, I'm quitting." I'd throw away tins right and left. Buy one only to have one dip and throw it away promising myself to quit. I always felt too weak and wondered how I would quit. I eventually believed that I would not ever quit. I began to realize that tobacco would be my demise.

I had "quit" in the past SOOOOO many times. After HS, I quit, after college I quit, after the birth of my son, I tried to find a way to leave so I could have a bear. I began to realize that I needed help!

The final straw was one day at work. I had quit for a few days, but I was fiending and bought a can at work. I had one dip and threw it in the dumpster, promising once again to quit for good. Hours later, I decided I NEEDED a dip, so I tried to get the tin out of the dumpster. Realizing I couldnt reach it, I thought up a plan to get it out of the dumpster using a yardstick and some tape. I got it, had a dip and felt so guilty I swore to end this miserable habit.

Fast forward a few months....I've found QS.org, some great people going through the same thing, and its been well over 100 days since Ive touched any form of nicotine. I believe now that I will NEVER touch any form of tobacco again.

While I was dipping, Id often look at my son and wonder if he'd know me as he grew up or whether he'd hear ories about me long after Id died. He was and is my reason for quitting, I just regret that it took until he was almost 3 for me to be enough of a man to conquer my weaknesses.

I'm proud of myself and all who have quit. The april group inspired me to be strong and quit. My only hope is that at least one person reading this will realize that quitting is within their reach. I honestly thought I could never quit, take that as a lesson and throw the crap away. US tobacco and conwood company suck. Dipping sucks. Quit.

I started dipping when I was 15 years old. My parents had separated and I went to stay with my dad in a rural area of MI. Well I met some of the locals at school who quickly introduced me to the wonderful world of Copenhagen. Of course I thought it was the greatest thing then. Fast forward 22 years later, and I'm on my way home from work (1:30AM) when I realize like so many times before that I'm almost out of dip. Well, here's the problem. I don't have enough cash on me to buy a can. But I do have cash at home, but that would mean having to come all the way back to the gas station. I can use my atm card, but that costs $2 for the transaction, bringing the cost of the can to $7. That stupid situation was the last straw for me. I blew by the gas station at went straight home and got online to try and find some websites for the fake chew, and as they say "the rest is history".

I have tried many times before to quit, and have failed many times. The difference this time? QS and the great support that this site offers. It is the only reason I'm writing this HOF speech tonight. Like Fitzspits, I did not have any close friends that dipped. Most of them couldn't understand why I was addicted to such a disgusting habit. QS was a Godsend. Here everyone was fighting the same demon. It is a group effort, and there lies the reason I believe, that the QS system works. You never feel like your on your own.

I would like to thank my wife, Heather for tolerating me in the early days of the quit, and for supporting me the whole way thru.
Thanks go out to Matt for having great insight in starting this forum, and to Spongebob for being a great leader and contributor to this site. The famous "Spongbob Mantra" got me thru many a cravings (they never lasted for more than 10 minutes). And of course thanks to all my April Brothers: Fitzspits, Hunter, Brandt, David Kodiak, Trihope, Cam, Trimbledad, Buddiboo, Glt, Upton5nc, Lapat, Dave B, Bapbanger, and everyone else who posted in our group. Special thanks to Socal who was my quit partner and the first guy to welcome me to the April group. Gil, get your butt back in here and make it stick this time!

Newbies: I know it's been said many times here but it can't be said enough: If I can stop dipping for 100 days, so can you. You can't be more addicted to this crap then I was. It can be done!!!

Chris J Steiner

The little brown haired boy looked at the long metal box. A body lay in that box. A body he knew too well......way too well.... his best friend, his dreams, his hopes laid in that box ... his Dad laid in that box.

.....sigh..... oh Dad...why?...

The smell of flowers filled the room, along with crying... too much crying. As the rain fell outside it was like the sky was crying too, thought the little boy. He felt like crying .....but just couldn't. He just couldn't.... he was brave, strong...just couldn't..... They said he died from "can-sir"....from the "two-bak-o" he put in his mouth....the little boy wasn't sure what "two-bak-o" was, but he knew that it hurt his Dad a lot. And it hurt the little boy a lot too. His dad always said that he loved him. So why would he put something in his mouth that would kill him, take him away...away forever. Why? He looked down at his shoes, ....goofy brown shoes,.... they pinched,... wished he had his sneaks on instead...wished he was outside....playing.....running ......wrestling on the ground with my Dad.... my Dad....oh Dad!....why?....... his eyes finally welled up...his throat choked...and he cried........

The little brown haired boy looked at the ball in his glove. What a sound! The smack of the baseball hitting the glove was perfect.....you know...when the ball is thrown just at the correct speed and hits the glove just right...it makes the greatest smack in world. And when it's thrown by his best friend,... his dreams, his hopes......... his Dad..........

sigh... his Dad!......why, it doesn't get any better!

The air was full of spring, the robins chirp, chirp, chirping away...... goofy robins! The yellow sun in the bright blue sky warmed the boy's face, the green leaves just starting to pop out...it was baseball season and it was perfect. The day was perfect. His life was perfect. And his Dad was perfect. He ran and jumped in his Dad's arms. Just bring it! He was outside....playing.....running ......wrestling on the ground with my Dad....my Dad!..... His bright, brown eyes danced....a smile came to his lips.....and he laughed....

Why?

The difference is that I (we all) made a choice. A choice of freedom. A choice of life. To live our lives to the absolute fullest. To make every second count with our loved ones. Not to be dragged down, humiliated, and maybe even murdered by a disgusting, filthy habit. A habit that does absolutely nothing for you; just give you cancer and make you look stupid. A habit that can, and will if you let it, take away everything.

No more...I'm done...

At this point I'm done for 100 days. To reach this milestone has been an accomplishment that I could never have done alone. First and foremost I must thank God, without whom I could do nothing, am nothing, and be nothing. I am eternally grateful to my family; Donna, Julia, Brandon... you are the world to me. I love more than I love myself. Next I would like to thank Matt for this incredible, lifesaving web site. You're awesome dude. I would also like to thank all of the "ole timers", Spongebob, 4woogie, Breen77, Mallowguy, northcreek, eliasone, Gant and the others. I want to thank them for taking the time for welcoming me into the group. For without them, even though this web site is fantastic, it's the generosity and undying support of the old members that makes it come alive.

And last but not least my heartfelt thanks goes out to the whole April Posse. HOLY FREAK'N YO! WE MADE IT! My brothers in arms... although the chances are astronomical that we will never meet; you will always be connected to me. And I thank you dearly for being there and putting up with my nonsense. We laughed, cried, bitched, and moaned but through it all we pulled each other up and fought the good fight together. As ladies should always go first, I would like to thank Gentle Giant - even though you're a Marcher you always seemed to jump in to April at the right time to give us much needed loving words of wisdom; I could just give you a big hug. Trimbledad - Keep the faith Buba and come home soon. Glenn - tight lines dude (remember my bong smok'n caveman!) .The Carlos Santana of the April group, Fiztspits (remember the freakin QS band!). , David Kodiak and eric i - (along with Fitz) my quit date partners, Lapat - our resident coonass, you kept me in stitches. Hunter - ole deadeye, keep um in the ten ring, Brandt - the brains of the posse, CJ - the Wings will be back!, Cam, Blake, JR, Upton5nc, HogsBreath, Fom, Lorax, Friar95, Buddiboo, Farside, Pablo, Trackmaster, CBW, Imaqtr, Goodbyecope, Wildcat Nation, and Ranger235 and everybody else (Sorry if I missed anybody). THANK YOU! A special thanks goes out to SoCal - someone with the biggest set I have ever know; get back on that horse man!

To the newbies.....make a choice...... make a difference. You will amaze yourself at whom the new dipless person you will become. You will have your peaks and valleys...you will pull your hair out and it will drive you nuts. But persevere. IT DOES GET EASIER! Not immediately, but gradually. Believe in the system at Quit Smokeless and believe in yourself.

And remember,.... when all else fails....try hope....

Peace
Steve

I started dipping the summer before my junior year in high school. In the 13 years that followed, dip was a constant in my life. I associated some of the best things in my life with dip but also spent many times worrying about what my habit was doing to me. Many nights I would brush my teeth and spit out blood from my gums being so irritated. I would lay in bed and stay awake for hours, worrying about whether it was cancer or not. I would make deals with myself and with God. No cancer, and I'll stop immediately. I'd say there were at least a dozen cans that were flushed down the toilet, as a sign of my desire to quit, only to wake up in the morning and stop at a convenient store to buy another can. I learned how to do just about everything in my life with a dip in. If I was walking with someone outside, I would automatically walk on whatever side was upwind from them, so that when I spit, I wouldn't get any on whoever was with me. It was just natural. I grew a beard to help hide the dip in my lip while I was at work. I learned the fine art of pretending to take a drink of coke, while actually spitting out tobacco. There was quite a ritual with it all, even though I didn't realize it at the time.

The money........HOLY COW THE MONEY!!! We've all done some kind of figure to find out what we've spent on tobacco in our lives. It blows my mind to think about the amount of money I've spent on tobacco over my life. I single handedly could wipe out a large portion of third world debt with the money I spent on tobacco.

So to get back to the heart of this, why did this quit stick, when the others never did. I think there were probably a few factors that led to this one sticking, but without question, the biggest part of this success came from this website. Unlike many of you, I was the only person in my circle of friends that dipped. Nobody had any idea what it was like to go through the quit. Ex-smokers would try and relate to me, but I believe that quitting smoking and quitting dipping are two different worlds. One morning I decided I was going to try "THE QUIT" again, and was looking for pictures of people with mouth cancer on the internet, to put up as a fear factor of sorts. Well, I stumbled onto the website and found the thing that I needed most to help me quit......all of you. I started reading the posts and realized that I was not alone. The quirks and eccentricities of my dipping were not quite as unique as I once thought. I found people that were similar to me, people that could relate to the battle, and most importantly....people that were WINNING the battle. As I read more, I saw that many people had much worse dip stories than me. These same people were successfully fighting the demon and winning, a day at a time.

So I registered and sent my first post on January 10, 2003. Wow.....Everyone was so supportive and welcoming, I felt an immediate sense of brotherhood. As time went on, I got to know many of you fairly well, through your posts. I remember having a bad crave at one point rather earlier in my quit and realizing that one of the main reasons I held through, was that I didn't want to let my brothers down. As all of you know, the struggle is not easy and just when you're feeling pretty good, you get smacked back down. There were many times when I became doubtful if the emotional pain of not dipping would ever subside.....this site got me through those times.

Well, here I am, at 100 days, and excuse my french, I feel pretty damn good about myself. I've proved to myself that I have the ability to fight through this battle and come out the other side, but it wasn't by myself. I want to thank everyone in QS for their support over these last 100 days. All of you played a part in this victory. I do want to thank a couple of people individually though.
Spongebob..........Your wisdom and positive posts were a strength to me throughout my quit. As I get further along and post less and less frequently, I respect you all the more for staying in and posting, helping those that walk behind you through the doors. You are truly an inspirational person. Gentle Giant......Possibly one of the most gentle, positive souls I've had the pleasure of knowing. In many ways I see you as the den mother of QS and I know that you've brought a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart many times. GoingInsane.....The crazy older brother of QS!!!!! You light the fire my friend, that starts the party.

Finally, my brothers in the April group. Guys, you have been the best and although I'm feeling really good and proud of myself today, I also am a bit sad at the thought of this part of the ride coming to an end. I want you all to know that you were an integral part of my quit and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you guys. That being said, I want to single out a couple of guys in the group that played major roles in my quit....
David Kodiak......dude, I can't think of better company to walk through the doors with. Over the course of our time here, you hit me with more jabs than anyone else, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks so much for the friendship and attitude!
TRIMBLEDAD.......You my friend, were quite simply my biggest inspiration during the quit. The fact that you are going through the quit, while being overseas fighting a war, away from your family and friends, amazes me. I respect you immensely and feel I owe you a big debt.........Your strength, not only with quitting but also as a soldier, have given me more strength and determination than any other one person on this site. You deserve a lifetime of happiness and health and I hope to hell you can come home soon.
Clubberlang,Brandt,CJ STEINER, HUNTER, TRIHOPE, BUDDIBOO.....all of you at one time or another got me through a crave or two and for that I thank you. I wish all of you the best.

So that's it. I wish all of you that are fighting to kick this demon the strength and the will to do it. If an idiot like myself can do it, I guarantee that you can too. If you're not registered and just sitting out there reading posts, trying to get up the courage to quit, REGISTER. You have stumbled onto the best tool you could possibly have in your quit, take advantage of it and take your life back. You've got a family of brothers right at your fingertips who will walk through the battlefield with you. Best of luck

Chris Fitzgerald

Mr. Gierer:

You're fired...

Please clean out your desk, pack your personal effects, and leave the premises immediately.

I truly hope the door hits you in the backside as you cart your sorry ass off the premises.

As of today, I am 100 days free of the daily self-loathing, fear, and embarrassment of being your nicotine whore. You no longer own me and I will no longer help fund your annual multi-million dollar bonus. Please take your vision of "Our smoke-free products will be recognized by adults as the preferred way to experience tobacco satisfaction." and shove it up your criminal, morally bankrupt ass.

You will no longer rob me of my money, time, self-esteem, and personal growth. I denounce your death embracing, carcinogenic scam. I was a pawn in your freak show of self-destruction for 23 years, but that circus was shut down 100 days ago. Just like Baghdad, I'm under new management. I am no longer a willing participant in your degenerate march to a premature grave.

Beg for forgiveness and mercy from the numerous cancer victims, widows and orphans that you and your soulless corporation created. And if you won't apologize, I'll enjoy watching you drown in Hell's spit cup for all of eternity. And while your ad and PR agencies (Need some extra help? Checkout Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information, he's looking for new spin work also - you two would make a nice package...) continue to peddle your mortuary dirt, know that there is a growing movement that is deaf to your siren's song: The Quit Smokeless Brotherhood.

The hog is out of the tunnel, my man: Better find a new business, hoss, because smokeless tobacco is going down the shitter.

Fear the truth and the Brotherhood...and kindly kiss my nicotine-free ass.

bapbanger

OK, OK, I know that memo sounds a bit over the edge and belligerent. In the end, it was my responsibility and my choice to dip. But the pricks at UST DO deserve a bit of heat :)

After dozens of attempts at quitting over the past 23 years, I truly believe that I've kicked for good. What's the difference for me this time?

I simply got fed up and didn't want dip in my life anymore. The waste of time (midnight trips to the convenience store), money ($4.50 a pop in Colorado), and effort (packing "spares" for every business trip) simply wasn't worth it anymore. I also finally admitted to myself that I am and will always be an addict - I am completely powerless over nicotine. And like those in AA, I have committed myself to not using today. I know that right now, even after 100 days of being clean, that I am one dip away from being a full-blown can a day junky again. I have emotionally sealed the deal with myself that I can never have "just one" - never again.

The pain, discomfort, rage, and frustration with breaking this addiction are signs that I am learning, growing, and continuing to evolve as a person. In some ways, nicotine caused me to be stunted in my emotional, interpersonal, spiritual and physical growth. Run down or tired? I'd have a dip for a boost. Frustrated with my spouse or significant other? I'd have a dip and escape. Feeling lonely? I'd have a visit with my supposed "friend". Concentrating on a hard task? I'd have a dip for laser-like focus. A big problem with these: they're all escapist, and the behavior is irresponsible.

All of us, despite our flaws, have the inherent skills, abilities, and knowledge to live a nicotine free life. We've just got to dust off, hone, and grow those talents and abilities. In the short term, the change is very uncomfortable - and the discomfort is necessary. Rewiring our physical, cognitive, emotional, and cognitive circuits is painful, but it's the price for earning our way back and growing as human beings.

For me, the new skills and knowledge are getting proper rest, nutrition, and exercise, as well as realizing that I still have critical thinking, writing, and analysis skills that work just fine without nicotine. In fact, those cognitive skills are improved now that I don't have the distraction of feeding the nicotine beast every 20 minutes. I've also learned that I can handle confrontation just fine without needing to hide away with a lip turd. Bottom line: Nicotine never helped a damn thing.

To my April HOF Class: Thank you for being there when I needed some encouragement. You are all good men. God bless you all.

To Quitat50: Thanks for watching my back. Your words of wisdom and support were just what I needed when I reached my fifty-day nadir. You are a very good man.

To my wife Sheila: Thank you for your patience, love, and support. You will always be my lovely bride. Your soon to be firstborn will never see her father with a load in his lip.

Three calls to action for the Brotherhood once reaching the Hall of Fame:

1. Take 1/3 of your first 100-day tobacco savings and give it to Matt van Wyk to support this site (you can do this through PayPal). Matt is truly a visionary and the patron saint of spittoons.
2. Take the second third of your 100-day savings and do something nice for someone who supported you during your temporary insanity of nicotine detox.
3. Take the last third and reward yourself. You deserve it.

bapbanger

In June of 1974, I was 12 years old. School was out for the summer, and my family embarked on a week long vacation. We were headed for the Smokey Mountains, one of my favorite vacation destinations then and still is today. After spending several days camping in the mountains, we traveled to some other place in North Carolina; I don't recall where. One night found us camping in a campground that was surrounded by a large tobacco field. It was the first time that I'd ever seen the plant, except in picture books. I found the tobacco plant to be generally featureless except for its large leaves, yet they exhibited a radiant green beauty that made them seem strangely desirable. Perhaps they only appeared that way to me because somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that they were a highly prized commodity.

The thought occurred to me that several of those leaves would make a good souvenir to take home. The owner of that field knew the value of his crop for it was protected by a fence about 8 feet high of tightly strung barbed wire. The barbs were much more closely packed on the wire than that used back home to fence in cattle. This made climbing the wire unthinkable. The strands of barbed wire were spaced less than a foot apart making it impossible for an adult to cross through it, but not a slim 12 year old.

Even as small as I was, it took the assistance of my older brother to get through. Halfway between two posts, he pulled one wire up and pushed the next one down. The wire was so taut that this only added a few inches to the gap, but it was just enough. I slipped through and began to hunt for the perfect leaves. While I was engrossed in the careful selection of my prize, my brother, as big brothers sometimes do, abandoned me there. By the time I returned to the spot where I'd entered the field, my brother was long gone.

I walked up and down the fence row looking for another way out, but there was only one way - through the fence. At that point, I was beginning to panic. Getting through that fence was going to be difficult and painful. It would be much easier if someone was there to help me. I laid the tobacco leaves near the edge of the fence. I then proceeded to wriggle my way between two strands of barbed wire. The barbs ripped my shirt and jeans in numberous places, and the skin underneath didn't fair any better. Once on the other side, I surveyed my wounds while cursing my brother under my breathe. Some of the cuts were deep and others were not, but they all hurt like hell. Despite the pain of my cuts, I didn't forget to reach through the fence and retrieve my precious leaves.

I sometimes wonder what differences it would have made in my life if I'd never crossed into that tobacco field, or if I'd just left those leaves lying on the ground. For as it turns out, those leaves were the launch pad of an addiction that would rule over my life for the next 28 years! The leaves dried out on the trip home. I crumbled them into a powder and placed it in a pill bottle. A friend put the idea in my head of dipping it, which I did. Once my souvenir was gone, that same friend made the suggestion of trying the much more tasty and mind-altering processed tobacco sold in stores. That was all it took. From my very first chew, I found that tobacco and I were a perfect match. That same summer, I entered into a faithful and unholy matrimony with the devil's weed. Many things would come and go in my life, but tobacco would become a constant, unchanging characteristic of my existence. From that day through the next 28 years, I would give up on many dreams that I would dream and break many promises that I would make and forget many things that I should have remembered, but I'd never forget to keep my pouch or tin of tobacco close to me, or break my promise to partake of it daily, or fail to dream of it at times when I could not dip it. Like a jealous lover, I would not let it out of my sight. The two had become one.

For the next 28 years, I would let nothing come between me and my addiction: not graduation from high school or college, not marriage or honeymoon, not the birth of my children, not the dawning of a new millenium, and not even a renewed spiritual commitment. Tobacco was an integral part of who I was, its roots reaching to the very core of my being. How could I divorce myself from it without destroying my quintessential self?

Yet, there was always this nagging, and well founded feeling, that by binding myself with this processed weed from hell, I'd inadvertently sown the seed of my own destruction. By God's grace I seem to have survived, completely unscathed, a 28 year love affair with one of the most deadly poisons known to man. I say, 'by God's grace' because I believe that it was His mercy that has protected me. However, in recent years, while in prayer, a still, small voice has admonished me, "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God." In layman's terms this means, "I've given you a pass so far, but don't press your luck!"

Until 100 days ago, I was still trapped in a tobacco field. The past several years I'd been running up and down the fence row looking for an easy way out. The conclusion was always the same. The only way out was through the fence. The fence was my own mind, and the barbs were not barbs of steel, but of habit and addiction. Passing through the fence was going to be painful. I was afraid to attempt it; I feared facing the pain alone. It seemed as though I'd be trapped there forever for I was paralysed by fear.

Then, God's grace shone on me. I stumbled upon QuitSmokeless.org. Some would say that it was by chance; I say it was by Providence. At QuitSmokeless I discovered that there were those who had already passed through the fence, and that there were many others like me who were trapped within the fence and desperately wanted out. Unlike my brother, there were some who hung around outside the fence to help those of us still trapped within. They had strange names such as GoingInsane, Breen77, Spongebob, 4woogie, northcreek, etc. They pushed and pulled on the barbed wires of the fence to make the passage a bit easier. Those of us passing through shouted out words of encouragement to each other as we fought our way through, helping to take our minds off of the pain of the nicotine barbs as they cut gashes into our psyche.

Little by little, inch by inch, we squirmed our way through the fence until at last we found ourselves on the other side, and living in the light of freedom! We discovered that there is a whole other world beyond the fence; that there was more to life than just being lost in a giant tobacco field. The people outside the tobacco field were cleaner, healthier, and wealthier. Even the food and drink tasted better there. We found that the grass really was greener on the other side of the fence.

At the time that this was written, 100 days have past since I made the fateful decision to cross the fence. I can remember that night vividly. I was very afraid, but also excited about the possibility of actually finding freedom. I made only one promise to myself; to go 100 days without tobacco. I owed myself that after 28 years of non-stop dipping. If after 100 days without tobacco I were to feel that life without it sucked, I'd take it right back up. I am happy to say that I found that it was the 28 years of addiction that sucked! Today, I've fulfilled the promise that I made to myself 100 days ago. I could go buy a can now without compromising that promise. I choose not to! I feel confident that I can spend the remainder of my life tobacco-free.

It has been a difficult but vastly rewarding odyssey, and I owe gratitude to many. I'd like to thank first and foremost Jesus Christ for protecting a fool like me from his own folly; Matt van Wyk for his vision and tireless maintanence of QuitSmokeless; all the old-timers whose words of wisdom gave me the courage to attempt the journey; and finally my April HOF brothers whose steadfast encouragement gave me the strength to complete the journey. Guys, at some point each and every one of you helped me along the way. Words fail to describe the gratitude and honor I feel in having undertaken this journey with you.

It is written, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." (John 8:32) One truth is that tobacco enslaves the mind and destroys the body. Once I recognized this truth, I was set free!

Brandt

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!

Trimbledad(TDAD):aka Kosovo Kid

It was my freshman year in high school, my sister was a senior, and so I knew a lot of the older guys in school. I would have done anything to be as cool as these guys. Everything they did reeked of popularity... I'm sure you know where this leads... A good friend of mine was a year older, but looked about 18-19, and so one day when we were at the local 7-11 he got the balls to try and purchase this stuff that all the older guys were using. All we knew is that it was illegal for us to have, looked really cool when you put it into your lip, and was used by half of all pro baseball players... To be honest I think I knew what dip was, but I wasn't sure how it worked or what it would do. I found out soon... My friend and I hid out in the woods behind my house, and opened the tin of Cherry Skoal, each putting about 5-6 shards of tobacco into our lips... It was so small it would classify as a "filler" later in my dipping career, but it was more than enough to do the trick... I kept it in my mouth for about 5 minutes, after which my head began spinning, and I felt like I was floating our of my shoes... I wanted another.

Throughout high school I got my friends to dip. We would just have maybe one or two a week at first, after school, or on the weekends. Later we would have one everyday, then more than one a day, then more and more... By my senior year I was dipping at least once a day in school, picking classes that had teachers who wouldn't rat me out. Throwing in a dip on the bus rides to and from all of my sporting events. Dipping every night before I went to bed, and every morning in the shower when I woke up. I went through a tin a day, but I wasn't addicted. I mean sure I hid it from my girlfriends and parents and sisters, and I had to always have a tin on me, but I wasn't addicted. How could I be? Everyone of my friends dipped, and they weren't addicted. I was in high school, I was suppose to try things. If I didn't have a tin I would steal my moms cigarettes, but that was because I liked it, I wasn't addicted. I mean everyone does this stuff in high school, that doesn't mean I was addicted, I would quit when I got to college right? No problem.

Big Problem. College afforded me the freedom to dip all day. The age to buy it without a problem, and the exams, relationship problems, and alcohol to rationalize my addiction. College hooked me up! Of course I was suppose to dip, I had all this stuff going on! How could I quit, and why would I anyways? All my new college friends dipped. Everyone in college does. Sophomore year my father had a bout with cancer and died. How could I stop when I was dealing with that? I had to dip. Even my girlfriend of 2 years, who HATED me dipping, was okay with it. How else was I suppose to deal with it? The best part? I could dip in front of my girlfriend now. No more hiding in the bathroom to dip, or waiting till she fell asleep on long car rides, or "going for a walk to clear my head". It was justified! College passed with at least a tin a day, not to mention the cigarettes when I would drink. I needed nicotine to function. But of course, I could always quit whenever I wanted to. I just didn't want to. I liked it. Who cares what others though. I liked dip. Plus I would quit when I graduated and got a job. Everyone does. I would have to.

I didn't. I graduated, got real serious with my girlfriend, got a job, got an apartment, and started all the big changes of my life. Well except for dipping. That didn't change. But I started to realize my problem! So instead of 4 dips at night, I would have 3! I was cutting back! This was the road to quitting! Wrong! This went on for 2 years.

Finally I stopped. I was taking a trip up north and I didn't buy a tin. I got through the weekend clean, and decided to keep going with it. On that Tuesday I found this website. I haven't dipped since.

Now here's the big question.... What finally made me quit? Was it my girlfriend, and her hatred of it? No, she was getting use to it, and didn't bug me about it much anymore. Was it a cancer scare? Nope, I always checked my mouth, it looked good, and I just had had a dentist appt., and it checked out fine. Was it money? Nah, I was making enough to support 6 bucks a day. The answer: I don't know. Really I have no idea why I stopped. Just did. I guess it was time. But that wasn't the hard part. The hard part was staying quit. The answer to how I did that? This website. Period. The people on this website were the whole reason I was able to do it. I was held accountable for my quit, and I had people to talk and complain about it to, as well as ask questions, and sometimes give me a swift kick in the rear. Thank you to all of you for your help. A few in particular, Quitat50- your answers, wisdom and guidance were a huge reason I could do this, Trimbledad- The fact that you were able to make it to the hall going through what you are right now was the biggest inspiration I had in this quit, David Kodiak-your words and posts in the group and to me in particular got me through many a crave, and Matt for creating this site, you have done a greater good than I can put into words, and I truly thank you form the bottom of my heart. A big thanks to all my April bros, especially Cam, Hunter, Fitzspits, Brandt, Bapbanger, Eric I, Trihope, Cjsteiner, Glenn, JR, Upton5nc, CBW, and anyone else I've forgotten. This site really works, and everyone here is a big part of that. Thank you to you all, you've saved lives with your caring and humanity.

And remember- "I pity the fool who don't quit the dip!"

Tired of being held by the bonds of nicotine addiction. Bonds that are so subtle, that they actually convey a feeling of comfort, satisfaction, pleasure. Bonds that seem harmless…but slowly tighten their grip around the unsuspecting victim.. Each time the drug is administered, it tightens its hold just a little bit more. In time, nicotine gains control of the victim’s daily activities. It’s the first thing looked forward to in the morning and the last thing done before bed. Eventually it subtly becomes the most important thing to the victim. Lunch hours are cut short, family time is sacrificed and even intimate relations are delayed with his wife in order to get his fix. His Master must be fed, or he will suffer the consequences.

So FREE

Free to be in control of my life. Free to find pleasure in my relationship with God, my wife, children and work….. not in a can. Free to wake up in the morning and after 20 years not worry about having enough time to take a dip.. Free to rediscover ways to relax other than putting a drug into my body. Free to not put a nasty drug in my mouth in front of my children or my wife. Free to use the restroom without first looking for my drug. Free to read the paper without my drug. Free to drink a beer without my drug. Free to walk out of a convenience store with $ 4 extra each day. Free to know that I am reducing my risk of cancer every day. Free to not fear the next dental check-up. Free to truly understand my problem, my life long addiction. Free to choose life. Free to enjoy life.

Thank you QS. This would not have been possible without you.

LPeeDee- 103 days of FREEDOM

The common thread in all of that is that there were no accomplishments that warranted speeches, even after the first time I made it 100 days. And, even as I write this, I debate whether or not there's an accomplishment here that's worthy of me sharing my thoughts with the rest of the dip-quitting world. I come to the conclusion that there is, but only as long as I do not dip. If I don't, then I've got something to tell all of the others trying to break the chains. If I cave in, though, then I question the value of my words, since what I'm going to say wouldn't have stuck with me over the long haul. And so, I only make this speech with the full belief that this time is the real deal, that I'm going to make it, I'm going to be free from nicotine for the rest of my life. Otherwise, I couldn't in good conscience post here.

Years from now, when I look back, I will see 100 days as a major milestone in one of the biggest successes of my life. As such, it's appropriate to begin by thanking those who got me through those days, probably many of the same people who will get me through the tough times as I go forward. It really all starts with God, who has been with me even when I ignored that fact, and has helped me find the strength to stay away from the Demon second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour. Then, I thank Matt van Wyk for putting up this board, and the people whose names I only know as things like Tribefan, Blake, Hope, FedUp, and others, but have had a very personal effect on my life. And then there's my girlfriend Michelle - who I'm sure wishes she doesn't fall victim to Tribefan's marriage advice - for being so supportive and understanding. And my brother, who is quitting himself, my parents, and my friends, many of whom dip but won't do it front of me anymore. Without all of you, I wouldn't have made it 100 days, and I know your support will help me with each day hereafter.

In examining the whole picture, I believe that the secret to quitting lies in understanding that when it all comes down to it, you're the one making the decisions around here. It's not UST, even though most of us really hate them, and with good reason. It's not your dipping friends, though their pressure obviously doesn't help. It's not even that evil little voice in your own head that tells you just one is okay. It's you - the real you. The one with the power to tell yourself you've come too far, that you don't need it, that just one isn't actually okay and probably isn't going to give you the satisfaction you're seeking anyway. If you can learn to reason with yourself, I think you can be successful. And stop blaming the product, it removes the focus from you, which is ultimately where it really should be.

I also think that we cave in because it's easier, which incidentally is why I found Blake's "apo-therapy" concept so amusing. Rational you - the one that reasons - is almost always present, but the "little voice" is damn persuasive. It is often much easier to listen to him than it is to struggle against him, so we cave, and we keep going. I have a good example of this. One time I cracked and bought a tin during a quit, and after having a wad my lip and gums really hurt. Rational me said "well stop it, you moron", while little voice me said "it just means you have to have more, so you'll get calluses and get used to it". Clearly, the logic was on the former side, but it was much easier not to stop and so the best way to address pain from dipping was to keep dipping until my mouth adapted. I say this because I did have the power to decide not to do it then, but I didn't exercise it because it was hard. So that's the second point...no one is denying it is difficult, and it probably always will be, but rational you is pretty much always right and you should listen to him, no matter how hard it is. If you have to, write out the "Rational vs. Little Voice" arguments and study them, it should become quite clear.

The other thing that I think is helping me now is that this is the right time in my life to make this change. I eat three meals a day now, I pay my bills, I have a clean house, I have a high-paying job, and I have a great girlfriend. Hmm...what doesn't fit in? Is dipping really something I want to be part of the identity of the future me? Answer: no. It doesn't really make it easier to get by the addiction or the cravings from a physical standpoint, but it's a powerful argument both to stop and to stay stopped when it gets difficult. It's about your life, and what you want to do with it, and dip doesn't fit in the plan. Which is why, by the way, I believe that your chances go way up when you do it for your own reasons, not because your wife wants you to or someone else thinks you should. This all ties back to the fact that you are in charge of making your own decisions.

Note that none of this blames nicotine, tobacco, or UST. They're all contributing parties, but they don't force you to do anything at all. It just feels like it sometimes.

People are telling me "that's great, now shoot for 200". But I think I'll just shoot for 101, and 102, and 103...the same strategy as before. 100 is just a number, after all - it's no magic time when everything just goes away. Otherwise, I wouldn't be talking about the last time I hit the century mark, now would I? So I'll keep visiting this board, and I'll keep trying to help my quitting comrades, whether they're at one day or 100. And, when I can, I'll give back to this site, for helping me to make one of the biggest changes of my life, and make it successfully. I hope you all would do the same.

In closing, I want to say thank you and good luck to everyone here - let's keeping beating up on our addictions!

WHAT CAUSED ME TO QUIT AND WHAT GAVE ME THE MOTIVATION IS STILL DEBATABLE. AFTER RUNNING MY SUCK FOR THE LAST 100 DAYS AND OBSERVING PEOPLE TRYING TO QUIT, I HAVE MADE THE FOLLOWING OBSERVATIONS: SMOKELESS TOBACCO IS A DRUG AND SHOULD BE CATEGORIZED IN THE SAME REFERENCE AS THAT OF ILLEGAL DRUGS.

I RUN MY SUCK TO MY COMPANIONS IN THE MAY QUIT GROUP, AND ANY OTHER GROUP FOR THAT MATTER, AND BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING INCLUDING: FINANCES, EMPLOYMENT, EDUCATION, POLITICS, MILITARY, AND WHATEVER ELSE PISSED ME OFF AT THE TIME. WHEN FIGHTING AN ADDICTION, YOU DO WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE TO SUCCESSFULLY CONQUER THE TASK AT HAND. FOR UNLIKE MOST ADDICTIONS, SMOKELESS TOBACCO IS THE MOST HIGHLY CONCEALED AND MOST DIFFICULT HABIT TO BREAK BECAUSE IT ONLY DIRECTLY AFFECTS THE HEALTH OF ONE PERSON, THE USER.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SECOND HAND DIP CANCER, ALTHOUGH I FEEL REMORSE FOR THOSE UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO HAVE UNEXPECTEDLY FOUND THE CONTENTS OF A SPITTER BOTTLE EITHER ON THEIR BODY OR IN THEIR MOUTH. I GUESS YOU HAVE TO HAVE CASUALTIES IN WAR. IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE GETS DIP IN THEIR EYE. WHEN I FIRST STARTED MY QUIT, ESPECIALLY AFTER MY FIRST POST, ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS REACHING THE HOF AND THE IMPACT IT WOULD HAVE ON THOSE AROUND ME. NOW I'M HERE, WHAT DID IT TAKE TO GET ME WHERE I AM TODAY?

I'VE ALWAYS TOLD IT LIKE IT IS, I'VE BOTH GIVEN AND TAKEN LOTS OF ADVICE- SOME PEOPLE HAD NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER OF TAKING MY ADVICE. I THINK IT'S ALSO IRONIC AND COMING FULL CIRCLE THAT I MADE THE HOF ON MOTHERS DAY. EXCEPT FOR THE MOTHERS ALREADY HERE BEFORE ME, VERY FEW PEOPLE CAN APPRECIATE OUR SUCCESS AND HOW DIFFICULT IT REALLY WAS TO BE WHERE WE STAND TODAY. I THINK IT ALSO NEEDS TO BE NOTED THAT QUITTING DIPPING IS AN INDIVIDUAL ACT, THUS OUR SUCCESSES ARE SUCH. TO GET ME WHERE I AM TODAY DID TAKE THE TOLERANCE, I WOULD SAY PATIENCE BUT NOT IN MY CASE, OF CERTAIN PEOPLE.

FIRST OF ALL, I HAVE TO THANK THE BIG DOG IN THE SKY WHO HAS GIVEN ME THE GUIDANCE AND LOVE TO SUCCEED. NOW THE ONES WHO HAVE PUT UP WITH MY BULLSHIT FOR THE LAST 3+ MONTHS. MY WIFE, AT LEAST MY QUIT GROUP ONLY DEALS WITH ME FIVE DAYS A WEEK AND EIGHT HOURS A DAY. SHE PUTS UP WITH ME 24/7, IMAGINE HELL AND ME STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YA FLAPPING MY GUMS CONSTANTLY- WELCOME TO HER WORLD. SHE IS THE LIGHT THAT GUIDES ME THROUGH THE DARK, GIVES ME HOPE WHEN I NEED INSPIRATION, AND PROVES THAT EVERY SACRIFICE I'VE MADE IS WORTH IT. I REMEMBER THE NIGHT I FINALLY MADE THE DECISION TO QUIT, WAS THERE A TURNING POINT- NO! ONE SMILE FROM MY SON MADE A LIFE DECISON FOR ME. I COULDN'T GO THROUGH LIFE THE WAY I WAS AND NOT ACCEPTING THE FACT THAT DIPPING WAS STEALING THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE- WATCHING MY SON GROM INTO A MAN.

I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT IF HE FOLLOWED IN MY FOOTSTEPS, HE'D BE KILLING HIMSELF ALSO. WHAT KIND OF ROLE MODEL WAS I WITH CANCER CAUSING MATERIAL IN MY LIP? I WOULD NEVER PRE-DETERMINE MY SON'S DESTINY BASED ON MY OWN STUPIDITY. ON FEB. 1, 2003 I CHANGED THE COURSE OF TIME. I GAVE MY SON THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHOOSE HIS OWN DESTINY.

AND NOW FOR THE LONG LINE OF PEOPLE I'VE PISSED OFF AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. T'DUCK (T'DOUCHE, T'SCHMUCK)- I WILL ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOU WANTING TO REFINANCE YOUR TOILET AND NOT WANTING MY MARRIAGE ADVICE- GODSPEED IN YOUR FLIGHT. BLAKE- MY OLD SPOTTERS LAST NAME WAS BLAKE, SO SEMPER FI MY FRIEND. DJC- I DON'T THINK IT'S A COINCIDENCE THAT WE BOTH DIPPED AND WORKED FOR THE SAME BANK- GO FIGURE. GOOCH- MY QUIT DATE BROTHER, I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN AROUND MORE! WOSCBALL- THANKS FOR KEEPING THE LOGISTICS GOING, WE'D ALL BE ON DAY 1 IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU KEEPING TRACK OF THE GROUP. FEDUP- MY HILLJACK ALTER EGO, YOUR DAY WILL COME. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE FROM THE SOUTH CAN RUN THEIR MOUTH AS MUCH AS ME.

FINALLY, THANK YOU MATT. YOU HAVE GIVEN HOPE WHERE THERE WAS NONE, GIVEN HOPE WHEN THERE WAS NONE, AND GIVEN HOPE BY BEING A LEADER. I JUST HOPE THAT SOMEDAY I COULD LEAVE AN IMPRESSION LIKE MATT. I FEEL THAT LIFE IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL THE DAY THAT YOU STOP MAKING AN IMPACT ON OTHER PEOPLE. IF I COULD HAVE HELPED JUST ONE PERSON, THEN MY QUIT HAS SERVED A PURPOSE OTHER THAN MY OWN. I HAVE LEARNED ALONG THE WAY THAT WHAT MATTERS MOST IN LIFE ARE THOSE WHO LOOK UP TO YOU AND SAY, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. I HOPE I HAVE LEFT A MARK FOR OTHERS TO FOLLOW.

IN CLOSING, A LONG SPEECH FROM ME WAS PROBABLY EXPECTED SO I COULDN'T DISAPPOINT. IF I HAD TO GIVE ANY ADVICE IT WOULD BE THIS: LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO ALWAYS BITCH ABOUT WHAT COULD OR SHOULD BE- MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY THROUGH HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE (NUT-UP), YOU'LL APPRECIATE IT MORE. I ALSO LOOK AT EVERYTHING I GAVE UP WHILE GIVING MYSELF TO THE DIP DEMON: MONEY, FRIENDS, FAMILY, SEX, SLEEP, LOVE, AND PEACE. CARRY THE SWORD FORWARD MY BROTHAS AND SISTAS, SEMPER FIDELIS AND GODSPEED.

DO, OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY!!!!!!!!!

Peace and stay strong.

Now, if you are a dipper or an X dipper than you know that thoughts like these do little to stop you from dipping. In fact, I was dipping at the time and despite the fact that I feared having cancer, I was not interested in quitting. Truthfully, I was hoping that the sores were "nothing" so I could keep dipping. It seemed that nothing short of death was going to get me to quit.

Then in my search for images, I found this site and with it, people like me. I was amazed. I could not believe that I was not alone. I decided right then- if these people could stop, then I could too. The decision was that simple and all of the sudden I was a part of something great. I was quitting... I mean really quitting and doing it with people like me!

Of course I had quit thousands of times, but for some reason, being accountable to people that were going through the same hell made the difference, and so it began. Minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. And what at first seemed impossible turned into 100 days.

Before this quit, I did not think of my self as an addict. I saw myself as a victim of addiction, a guy with a monkey on his back- purely chemical. As I started to break the chains of addiction I realized that I was not only physically addicted to chewing, but I was emotionally and psychologically dependent as well. I could not, or would not function without chew. In time I have realized that I had altered my entire life to maintain my dipping ways. The specifics of my behavior are grim and I cannot believe the things I would do for a dip.

As I look back on 100 days I see the postings of my daily struggles and the sobering confessions of a healing man, I cannot begin to thank all of the people on this site who have helped me this far. T-Duck, Tribe and so many others have been there for me to get through this.

Now as each day passes- I continue to feel the grip of addiction loosen, my vision become more clear, and for the first time in years I actually believe I have a future worth seeing.

I started killing myself with dip 8.5 years ago in a college dorm room. It was my sophomore year and the cool thing to do was dip I had my first pinch of Skoal Mint and actually hated it. The room started to spin and I turned blue. 8.5 years later, I'm still trying to figure out where the switch flipped. When did dip start to taste and feel good? Why, if I hated it so much, did it turn into a full-blown habit? The main reason, I believe, is because I let my guard down, gave in to my peers and basically ignored the dangers dip involved.

One year ago, I got very serious about quitting. My wife and I were going to have our first child, I was where I wanted to be with my career, and dip just didn't fit into my life anymore. I promised myself that my first child would not have a dad that dipped. Well, her birth came and went and the dip was still holding on. I quit several times for a week or two, but started right back up because I let the guard down. Dozens of cans of chew were flushed down the toilet after taking just one dip. (TDUCK--you must have been having a blast with all that dip) It was always easy to quit when you had a big fatty in the lip.

Six months ago I went through a major depression. It came out of the blue and left me feeling hopeless and exhausted. About a month into the depression I also had a three week episode of major anxiety. After meeting with a doctor, I was told that giving up the dip should help with the anxiety. What he failed to tell me, though, was that there was going to be some intense anxiety and hell to pay during the first couple weeks of quitting. I tried and just couldn't do it.

105 days ago, I had had enough. I had tried quitting too many times on my own and kept coming up short. In my morning devotions, I prayed to God and asked him to either give me the strength to quit this on my own or put something in my life that would be a crutch to get me over the hump. That morning I came to work early, fired up the internet and entered the words "quit smokeless" and up popped this website. I looked at some of the days quit some of the vets were posting and couldn't believe it. There were people that chewed for 20-30 years, two cans a day that were on their 2nd or 3rd year of being quit. That alone makes a statement about the power of this site. If people that chewed twice as much as me for 3 times as long could quit, I know I could do it.

One more interesting piece to the story --My wife knew I chewed in college, but thought that I had quit many moons ago. I decided that I needed to bring her in and give me some emotional support. I sat her down 3 days into the quit and told her everything. She was very supportive and told me she'd do anything to help me quit. I still remember TRIBEFAN asking me how hard she smacked me around after I told her.

The rest is history. Over the last 105 days, some minutes have seemed like hours and some hours like days. But as I look back, the last 105 days have actually gone rather quickly. All the people on this site have made it go quickly.

There are several people that I need to thank. First of all, I give all the praise and glory to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the reason why this quit has worked. Secondly, I thank Matt VW. This site has made it happen. All your efforts are greatly appreciated. If anyone would have told me 105 days ago that I'd be typing a speech in the HOF I would have choked. Thanks also to my faithful wife. You've lived with a lazy, cranky man for the last 3 months. Thanks for the patience. Lastly, I want to thank all the brothers and sisters on this site, especially the May quit group. TRIBEFAN -- dipping and Fifth Tird do go hand in hand. I like the fact that you don't beat around the bush. Reading your posts cracked me up and kept me coming back. FASTEDDY -- I don't know if you're still here, brother, but your words of encouragement in the beginning helped me immensely. WOSCBALL, thanks for keeping track of our group and for keeping us in line. BLAKE, thanks for your posts and congrats on the boy (He'll be happy that you'll be around to see him grow up). T'DUCK, thanks for your help with keeping the TRIBE in line. I remember your posts and we've been through a lot of the same things. Whenever you need to refi that toilet, let me know. RJBENGEL, I'll be keeping an eye out for you in the HOF. You're almost there. SPONGEBOB, you've posted a lot of good stuff on this website. It's posts like yours that draw others into the site and make them decide to jump on the wagon Chalk me up as one you've carried through and helped kick this demon square in the chops. And to everyone else who has posted on this site who I've failed to call out, a huge THANKS. IT makes the quit easier knowing that there are hundreds of other people out there going through the same trials while quitting..

And finally, to the dip demon. You're officially not a part of my life anymore. I will never let my guard against you down again. You're getting weaker and weaker by the day.

To anyone who may be reading this and considering quitting, just do it. The first couple weeks are tough, but the long term rewards (Life) is worth it.

Happy quitting everyone and may God Bless.

So many times over these years I've tried to quit. I've used every trick there is: it's just plain gross, it will deform you, it will kill you, it will take you away from the ones you love….and nothing worked. That is until I found this website. To know that I'm not the only one going through this, not the only one struggling to find the courage to say "not today" literally one day at a time was, and continues to be, immensely encouraging.

I just told my wife this weekend that I couldn't believe 100 days was upon me. A few years ago the thought of going 100 days without dip seemed so far out of reach, about as likely as me jumping over the moon. Now the thought of dipping is the thing that terrifies me, not going without.

I still feel the cravings, mostly psychological, not really physical anymore, and have to beat down the demon regularly. But knowing I would let down my family, myself, and all of you makes it that much easier.

I hope there will be a day when weeks, months, and even years pass between thoughts of dipping, but until that time, I'll check in on these boards for inspiration and reassurance.

Good luck to everyone trying to get to 100, but even more to the folks already there. It may be tempting to let down after passing this milestone, but remember, the hard work has been done, DON'T LET UP!!!! Starting counting to 200 this time if you need to, remember why you decided to be the person you are now, a dip free person. Remember all the pain and strength it took to get here and continue to move forward.

I know some people may wonder how any woman could possibly get hooked on dip, and to tell the truth - I wonder that sometimes myself. In my hometown dipping was not very popular. It was not considered "cool", there was no peer pressure, no talk of adverse health effects...it wasn't even an issue. While young adults were constantly warned about smoking, dipping was never so much as brought up. It seems funny to me that given those circumstances I became addicted to smokeless tobacco...but indeed I did.

I guess the best place to start is the beginning. When I was 15 years old I spent a month over the summer at a basketball camp for girls that were thinking of playing college ball. A rather rebellious girl at the camp came by my room one night and starting talking about this great way to relax and catch a buzz. ("relax and catch a buzz" - this phrase will ring in the ears of any 15 year old) She pulled out a can of Kodiak, and that's when my story of addiction began. I can still remember my first dip - it was by far the best buzz I had (or have) ever experienced. As an athlete I didn't drink or smoke, but dipping...it was discreet, it was easy to hide, and it was legal to buy at 16 - close enough. I felt like I had hit the jackpot. Of course, I had every intention of keeping my new habit just for the summer - how naïve of me. Needless to say, after dipping several times a night for a month I was completely hooked. When I left camp that summer I became a closet addict, and no one since has ever found out my secret.

After a few years of hiding my addiction - I quit, and I was able to stay quit for many years. Why I decided to go back to Kodiak over six years ago is still a little hazy...all I can say is this - once an addict always an addict. I felt like I needed something to take the edge off, and just like that I was back to being a full-blown addict. Some things never change...then again, sometimes they do.

I won't lie - I enjoyed dipping. I thought it helped me stay focused. I thought it helped me deal with stress. I have to admit; it was my favorite past time. But even so, deep down I knew that my addiction was costing me. It cost me money (5 dollars a tin??), it cost me time with friends and family, it cost me countless hours of worry, and above all it cost me my freedom...it was the last cost that finally sent me over the edge. I started looking for a way out, and that's when I ran across QS.org.

After finding QS I spent a few days quietly reading, and like everyone else that has had the good fortune to stumble upon this site - I was amazed by what I found. I had always been alone in my addiction, but after reading through the posts and the HOF speeches I began to feel something I hadn't felt in a very long time...Hope.

It was in those first few days of reading that I knew I truly wanted to quit. I started to mentally prepare myself by setting my sites on the seemingly unattainable HOF, but one thing kept holding me back - I didn't think the timing was right. I had work that needed to be done, stressful issues weighing me down, trips to take, a life to lead, and I couldn't see making it without Kodiak. Then I started to wonder...if not now, when would be the perfect time to quit? When would I have 100 days to devote to kicking my addiction? I exhausted myself thinking on those questions until I finally came up with this - There never is a "perfect"time to quit. Over the course of 100 days anything can and will happen. In the June group alone many issues have been brought up including: unexpected trips to the hospital, bouts of depression, oral surgery, the arrival of a new baby, deaths in two families, announcements of new life, loss of employment..the list goes on. When looking back over 100 days, any 100 days, there will always be life stresses, unexpected events, feelings of joy/sadness, points of great strength and moments of complete weakness. If you find yourself searching for a good time to quit your addiction...let me offer this - Now is the best time to quit. Don't wait. Don't put it off. There is no better time than right now to save your life and take back your personal freedom. I am so glad I quit when I did...in hindsight my timing was perfect.

For those who may wonder what has been the key to my success, the answer is simple - Quitsmokeless.org. This site has saved my life. Quitting is so very hard, but it is possible...never forget that. My best advice to new quitters is READ & POST, READ & POST. Those two crucial acts have given me the strength to make it 100 days (and counting) without Kodiak. Just as dipping is a choice, quitting is also a choice. May we all choose to live a life of freedom.

There are so many people to thank it's hard to know where to start. Let me begin with a big THANK YOU to every last person that has posted on QS...the magic of this site lies in all of you. That being said - I have a few personal notes to add:
MATT - Thank you for creating this wonderful forum. Your site is a lifeline to those lost in the dark storm of addiction - I will be eternally grateful to you.
To all my Junebugs - Thank you, thank you, thank you! All of you hold a special place in my heart. You have all been such a source of strength and inspiration. As I've written before - I could have never come this far without the support/understanding/acceptance of my fellow Junebugs. I think it becomes harder to fall when you have so many good people holding you up. ***Bill, RJ, Gryllus, FedUp, ScottA, Mister, Asok, Webfoot, Dover, Mitch, Wisdom, Gooterman, Bailey, JoeH, BP, Turk, NeedNoMore, Brett, Freedom, Wannabe, Wolf, Smooth-Lip, Jack, Toddy, Edbolin, Copeless, and all of the more quiet bugs - you are the best!***
RJ - Finding you on my first day was a blessing...because of you I have never felt alone in my quit. We have walked every step of this journey together - I could not have asked for better company.
BILL - You have been more than a quit buddy, you have been a true friend. I would not have made it this far without you. Thank you...for everything.
FEDUP - Your undying motivation has made a huge impact on so many people - thank you for keeping me fired up.
To the Mayers - Thank you for blazing such a bright trail to the HOF.
GP, REES, TW - I look forward to seeing you and your quit groups join the HOF in the coming months.
To the QS quitting pros - Bluesman, GoingInsane, SpongeBob, 4Woogie, Northcreek, MallowGuy, Steve, SodaPop, and Breen to name only a few...thank you for your posts, your encouragement, and for setting such a strong example of hard work and endurance...we are all following your lead.

My fellow quit brothers and sisters: I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors. As for me, I'm still heading to Freedomville. I hope to see you all there soon.

Keep fighting the good fight,
Hope

I know I never could have made it this far without this wonderful community to give me support and strength when needed. I spent a lot of time in the early days of my quit hitting the refresh button over and over waiting for new items to be posted. Every new post was fuel added to my brain to fight this addiction. The veterans, Spongebob, Quit@50, Breen77, 4woogie, northcreek, and all the others, were so instrumental in keeping my quit going. Spongebob's mantra was my motto through those first two weeks. Whatever it took, I was not going to put a dip in my mouth. Although, I did put everything else in my mouth! I think I gained about 10 pounds in those first two weeks. But I didn't care. Whatever it took to keep dip out of my mouth was OK by me. I could lose the weight later. My fellow Junebugs were so instrumental in my quit as well. Hope, Fedup, scott a., Dover, joehoosier, txsbill, asok, wisdom, boyspromise, mistermagette, mitchw, and all the other Junebugs. Without y'all, I was an egg with no incubator. You provided me with strength day in and day out, thru thick and thin. Thank you. Members of the other groups also provided me with valuable inspiration, especially early in my quit when there were not many Junebugs around. TRIBEFAN, djc, gentle_giant, blake, t-duck, y'all were great!!

Thanks also,has to go out to my wife and children. Without their patience, love, and understanding, there's no way I could have made it thru that first month. They were understanding enough to know that I still loved them very deeply, even though I was blowing up at them constantly thru that first month of hell. I still remember like yesterday blowing up at my daughters, and then crying my eyes out with them as I apologized after coming to my senses. I hope and pray I will never put them thru that again.

My biggest thanks has to go out to Matt Van Wyk. (Yes, my wife would agree!) I suffered thru many failed quit attempts before, none of them lasting more than 40 days. My wife would agree when I say this site was a Godsend. I never could have achieved this goal, without the help of this community. Matt would say that it's not him, but the community that serves the needs of itself. And I would agree to that. But without your awesome insight, this website never would have started, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have provided me the ability to make one of those life-altering decisions.

For all you newbies, I wish I could put into words the feeling of freedom that I am feeling today, so that you could understand how great it feels!! If I had known 10 years ago how wonderful this freedom feels, I would have quit then. The biggest reason my quit has been so successful is because I came to this site OFTEN, and read and posted FREQUENTLY. Those were two of the keys to my success. Get to know your fellow quit group members. Let them know how your day is going, how you feel, what's going thru your head. It's hard for anybody to help you if they don't know what's ailing you. And last, but not least, follow my tag line motto, "Focus on the moment and kick the demon's a$$!!!!!!"

I started dipping (much like fellow HOF member Hope) at a camp, football camp when I was 14. It was all about peer pressure but before I knew it I was hooked. As I look back on my experience with dip I can see how it owned me. It got to the point where dip actually robbed me of things that I loved and I still didn't quit. I had girlfriends and friends that couldn't stand my nasty habit, but I just shrugged it off and looked away from my addiction. I was playing football in college and the dip affected my cardiovascular endurance so much I was half the player I could have been. But I still didn't quit I just looked the other way. My blood pressure had been skyrocketing lately and I was heading towards some type of oral cancer ( I had some leukoplakia), but I would look the other way. This site gave me the focus to quit and all the positive encouragement from my brothers and sisters of the June quit group ( Go Junebugs!!!!) kept me going.

I think the greatest relief of quitting dip is that I don't have to explain to my son some day why I chew tobacco. I really can be a positive roll model to my son, the kids I coach, and hopefully to anyone that wants to quit dipping. Today I am grinning from ear to ear and I don't have any tobacco in my teeth. Thanks!

O